The Shadow Proves the Sunshine
by arygon199
Summary: Season 5 AU. Brucas. It’s been almost five years since they’ve all graduated and a lot has changed. Now it’s time for Brooke to return to Tree Hill to face her demons, starting with the biggest one of all: Lucas Scott.
1. Dark and Frozen Hearts

**A/N: **Okay, so I originally wasn't planning on posting this story until after I was finished with _All for Love_, but I was just going over my outline for this one and I just got really excited for it and decided to post the first chapter. It's kind of short and it could be better, but I want to see what you all thought of it so far. It's probably going to be confusing at first, but as the story goes on you'll understand more. Basically all you need to know is that everything from season 1-4 counts, but most of the events that have happened since then are different. There will, however, be some similarities in the story to the actual season 5 of the show that you'll notice later on.

For those of you familiar with the band Switchfoot, you'll probably recognize the title of this story as one of their songs. The whole story is sort of based off the lyrics of that song, so check it out if you can. Also, a big thanks to Allie for helping me out with this chapter!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. If I did, things on the show would be _lot_ different. The title of the story belongs to Switchfoot.

* * *

_**The Shadow Proves the Sunshine**_

**Dark and Frozen Hearts**

She is not looking forward to this. As a matter of fact, there are a countless number of other things that she would much rather be doing right now. But it has to be done— she has to go home.

Tree Hill, North Carolina had been Brooke Davis' home for the first eighteen years of her life and the place where, no matter how much she tries to deny it, her heart belongs.

She hasn't been there in two and a half years and the last time she had been was possibly the worst time in her life. It was torture and she never wants to have to experience it again...

Yet here she is, flying first class headed to the place that she'd vowed she'd never visit again, let alone live. So why are all of her things packed in a bunch of suitcases below her ready to be stowed in the new beach house she'd purchased online? The answer is painfully unclear. What _is _clear is that it's time to face what she's been hiding from. Because her life will never get better if she sits here and ignores all that's happened to her over the past four years and six months.

Everything is just so complicated and sometimes it's too much for her to even think about. Nothing has been the same since she last left Tree Hill and it will be nothing short of a miracle if it ever is again. But she has to be brave in order to fight the battles that are sure to come and Brooke Davis is no coward. She is going to win and she is going to get her life back on track.

That is her goal.

But, as Brooke steps out of the airport and into the warm North Carolina air, her courage starts to fade and it takes all she has not to turn right back around and sprint back onto the nearest flight to New York. But then she stops and rationalizes about _why_ she's here and _what_ she needs to do and she realize that she's being stupid—everything will be okay. Eventually, at least.

Haley is waiting for her, as promised. She looks so happy to see her and Brooke can't hide her happiness at seeing her either. It's been almost nine months since Haley had last visited her and she missed her like crazy. It still kills Brooke that she'd had so little contact with her friends over the past few years. But then again, refusing to come to the place that they _lived_ probably had something do with it. But now that she is back, she can make things right again.

"Brooke, I can't believe you're home!"

Brooke smiles as Haley pulls her into the tightest of hugs and, as much as she hates to admit it, it feels good to be back. Haley then helps lift Brooke's luggage into her big SUV, while the boy she hasn't seen in much too long pokes his head out of the back window and waves.

"Hi, Aunt Brooke!" Jamie says cheerfully.

She drops the rest of her stuff and heads over to see the godson who she loves so much. She doesn't get to spend nearly as much time with him as she'd like to, but the bond she shares with Jamie is still great and it is amazing to be with him again. As she pulls him into her arms, Brooke marvels at how big he's grown in the last year and, when she mentions this to him, he proudly states that he's grown two inches in the past three months.

Then, after everything is loaded, they all drive away towards the place Brooke's been ignoring for much longer than she should have. It's a strange feeling knowing that she is finally home. But it was inevitable that she would eventually end up back here. She's known that for awhile now, although she's tried to block it out of her mind as much as possible.

"I talked to Peyton," she says nonchalantly as Haley drives down the highway, "and she should be coming in later tomorrow. She's pretty pumped up about starting her own label."

"I really think it's going to be great," Haley agrees. "And you're planting the first Tree Hill Clothes Over Bros location. _That_ should be amazing."

She nods slowly, her thoughts getting lost in her work life—her _only_ life for the past few years— for what feels like the billionth time that day. Clothes Over Bros is a success and, although she is incredibly proud of it, it hasn't given her the satisfaction that she's longed for, the satisfaction that she'd had two and a half years ago and that was taken away from her prematurely.

She tries to shake the memories that are sure to come from these thoughts out of her head, but, unfortunately, Haley seems to have other ideas.

"So, um, I told Lucas you were coming."

Brooke tries to hold back a groan and keep some composer as she digests Haley's words. Jamie is in the car and he still doesn't properly understand everything that has happened and so she must try to keep her calm, even if it is incredibly hard.

"And how did he react?" she asks stiffly.

Haley swallows a bit nervously and this worries Brooke more than she wants to admit. "He's…excited."

It's obvious that Haley's lying, but she doesn't know if it's because Jamie's in the back seat or because Haley is trying to protect her. But, for whatever reason, there's absolutely no way Lucas Scott is excited that she's coming home; in fact, she wouldn't even be surprised if he packs his bags and just leaves. No one would blame him at all if he did, her least of all.

After all, that's exactly what she had done.

She turns wearily to look at Haley. "When you say excited, do you perhaps mean _enraged_?"

"Momma, what does enraged mean?" Jamie pipes up.

"Nothing, sweetie," Haley says, smiling at her son before placing her attention back on Brooke. "And I suppose that you could say he's a bit enraged slash excited. Even though he doesn't really want to admit that he's excited yet. But I can tell he is. It comes along with the being best friends thing—we can read each perfectly. I mean, you know how it goes—"

"Hales, you're rambling."

She smiles guiltily. "Oh. Sorry."

Brooke is desperate for a subject change; this conversation is intensely draining. "So how's everything going with Nathan? Is his rehab going well?"

This is a conversation that Haley apparently isn't too keen on having and, as she sees her smile turn into a very big frown, she feels suddenly guilty for bringing it up.

Haley takes a deep breath. "He's doing okay."

Brooke can tell she's lying; Haley is one of her best friends and, like Haley herself admitted a few seconds ago, best friends can read each other perfectly.

She pats Haley's shoulder in a comforting manner. "It's going to be okay, Haley, you'll see. Eventually everything will work out and then everything will be great again."

Haley just nods, a small smile forming on her face. "The same goes for you," she says. "You know that right?"

Brooke tries her best to look as confident as possible—even though she feels anything but— as she nod quickly. "Yeah, of course."

But really, she isn't sure anything will be great ever again. It hasn't been for over two years and sometimes it just doesn't seem possible to mend everything back into what it used to be, or even into something completely new.

But she has to at least _try _to fix things.

And that means facing her biggest fear of all: Lucas Scott.

**888**

She's coming home.

Not only is she coming home, she is _moving _home.

Sometimes Lucas Scott feels as if the world is trying to torture him.

Brooke Davis always had impeccable timing. For the first time in two years he feels happy with his life and now she's coming home to ruin it all.

He looks down at his laptop, trying to concentrate on finding some sort of words to put on the page, but failing miserably. He sighs, running a hand through his short-cut hair, and continues to think about her. She's probably bringing all of her issues back home with her, ready to unload them onto him and beg him to carry them all away. But he isn't going to let that happen. He is not going to take away all of her burdens and he is not going be her shoulder to lean on. Never again would he be that guy for her. He is over everything and just because she's finally coming to terms with all that has happened doesn't mean he's going to welcome her back with open arms and confess his undying love for her.

He glares at the computer screen, willing himself to find something else—_anything_ else—to take over his mind.

But there is no point; she completely consumes his thoughts.

She probably thinks that he needs her in his life but he doesn't. Maybe he did a few years ago, but he is better now and he is happy. He's moved on without her and he has come to terms with everything _without_ her. In his mind, she has no right to drop in now, of all times, and try to mess up his life.

His face falls into his hands and he starts to calm down a bit. He knows he's being harsher than he should be, but the last time she was here she had hurt him to the point where he wasn't sure he would ever be able to recover. Most of it wasn't even her fault— he knows without a shadow of a doubt that that is true— but the portion of it that _was_ her fault hurt him more than anything else combined. And that is hard to forgive.

"Something wrong?"

His anger subsides as he feels Lindsay's arms wrap around him.

"Nope," he lies. He doesn't want Lindsay to suffer through all of his problems right now—she's stressed enough with her own work as it is.

She looks at him inquisitively and he's pretty sure she knows that he's lying.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Brooke coming home by any chance, would it?"

His face drops as he realizes that Haley's already told Lindsay the news. Twisting his hands in annoyance, he makes a promise to himself to kill Haley later.

"You know what?" he says, jumping from his chair and glaring at nothing in particular. "I don't want to talk about it. Brooke is nothing to me anymore and her coming back will affect me in no way."

Lindsay rolls her eyes. "If you seriously think that, then you're not as smart as I give you credit for."

His eyes shift over to her and narrow even more. "I don't want to talk about this."

And then he stalks out of his bedroom and into the living room, Lindsay right on his heels. He truly doesn't understand why she is so intent on getting out his feelings on this issue.

"Lucas, you can't hide from her like this. You two have been through so much together and I respect that, but you've barely had any closure and sometimes I think that there's a small part of you that still holding onto to her and that makes me nervous."

Her words make him reel in anger and he struggles to hold back a scream.

"God, Lindsay, I _hate_ her! How could you ever think that I would ever want her again? Me and Brooke, we're done and if I never see her face again then that'll be just fine with me. She almost ruined my life and I'll never give her that chance again."

Lindsay's eyes soften and she reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder. Lucas shrugs it away quickly, flinching at her touch.

"You don't _hate_ her, Luke."

His face crumbles and he knows she's right; he could _never_ hate her.

But Brooke hurt him and he's only just recovered. Now she's back to reopen old wounds and he's angry at her for it.

"Why are you encouraging me to talk to Brooke?" he asks, his shoulders sagging as he practically collapses onto the couch. Lindsay sits with him. "You're my girlfriend; you shouldn't be encouraging me to talk to my _ex_-girlfriend about something like this."

"It doesn't matter that I'm you're girlfriend," Lindsay says softly, "because I'm you're friend, too, and I love you. I want to see you happy and in order for you to be happy you need some closure with Brooke. Because, let's face it, you two never got any."

He looks down at his hands and he knows that Lindsay's right, as much as he may hate to admit it. But him talking to Brooke about everything is a scary thought. It'll just bring back painful memories and dreams of what could have, what _should_ have, been, and he's not sure he can handle that right now.

He takes Lindsay's hands in his own and smiles weakly. "Thanks, Linds. You've been so supportive through everything and I really don't deserve a girl like you."

And he really doesn't. Because if one thing good has happened with this whole mess with Brooke, it's that it brought him and Lindsay closer together. And that is one thing he will always be thankful for.

* * *

Please review and let me know what you think!!!


	2. Shadows

**Shadows**

She feels like she's going to throw up.

Her stomach is turning in circles like never before and she's pretty sure that she's never been this nervous before in her life. If she's honest with herself, she knows it's because she's worried—worried about what he's going to say when he sees her.

She hasn't been able to get much more information from Haley about Lucas, but luckily Nathan is another story. Unfortunately, what he has told her doesn't exactly make her feel good about their inevitable meeting.

"He likes to say that he hates you," Nathan remarks as Brooke sits next to him in Nathan and Haley's living room. He's in a wheelchair and his hair is grown out long and it looks like he hasn't shaved for awhile. But underneath it all he's still Nathan and despite the fact that he's not doing too well right now, she knows he's starting to make a recovery. "But we both know that isn't true."

It's hard to imagine Lucas Scott ever saying that he hates someone, let alone her. He's always been such a forgiving person, at least when it comes to her. And it hurts a lot for her to hear Nathan say it. But at the same time she doesn't blame Lucas one bit.

"I heard he's dating Lindsay."

Nathan nods shortly. "Yeah."

She waits for him to say something else but he doesn't appear to have anything else to add. When Haley called her four months ago and told her that Lucas and Lindsay had started dating she was a little peeved. Actually, she wasn't happy at all. In a silly way, she had assumed that since _she_ hadn't moved on, he couldn't either.

And Lindsay…

Lindsay's a nice enough girl but she's not…_her_. She knows that that sounds self-righteous, but she isn't sure she's ready to let go of Lucas for good. She did leave him two years ago but that didn't mean she had fallen out of love with him, it just meant that everything had become too much for her. And no one can really blame her for that, can they?

The thing that annoys her most about Lindsay is that she _knows_ everything. Lindsay was Lucas' editor during the major events that had taken place between herself and Lucas and Lindsay knew that what he and her had shared had been amazing and real and that after she had left he must have been heartbroken.

She feels like Lindsay has very slowly taken advantage of him ever since she left—like she was just waiting for her to make a wrong move so she could take him for herself…

Brooke's eyes narrow as she realizes this thought couldn't be further from the truth. Lindsay's an _angel_, even she can admit. Lindsay only wants what's best for Lucas and Brooke respects that more than anything.

But that doesn't mean she can't hate her for a little bit...

And now, as she sits awkwardly on Haley's couch and listens to Haley greet Lucas at the front door, Brooke prays to God that she doesn't vomit on Haley's beautiful cherry hardwood floor. What a shame that would be.

Nathan is staring gloomily at the TV, watching a pre-recorded basketball game and Jamie is watching it with him. Brooke, on the other hand, is blocking out everything except his voice—the voice she hasn't heard in over two years.

"…she's here? I thought she was coming in tonight?"

"No," Haley's soft voice interrupts, "I said she came in this morning. You must have heard me wrong."

There's silence and she holds her breath, waiting for his reaction.

"I'm leaving."

She releases the breath, her stomach relaxing. It looks like she still has a little time to prepare for everything. But just as the nauseous feeling leaves her stomach, she hears Haley call back to him.

"That's a really bad idea, Lucas. You know that you can't put this off."

She hears a very loud groan and she knows that Haley's irritating him.

"Just shut up, Haley. You have no idea what you're talking about. You'll _never _understand, so stop telling me what is or what isn't a good idea."

Brooke hears the slam of a door and then the start of an engine but, as she turns to look out the window, she spots Haley standing at the driver's side door, her hand reaching through the open window and resting on his shoulder. Brooke can barely make out Lucas' defeated expression.

It almost makes her want to cry. The way he looks right now, with his tortured eyes cast down wearily and his shoulders sagging in defeat—it's exactly how he looked when she last saw him. And it kills her to see that he still looks this way and even worse, that _she_ did this to him.

"Just talk to him," Nathan says, a little anger in his tone, "it'll make _all_ of our lives easier."

She sighs and looks back at him. "It's not that easy." She's distracted as Jamie grabs her hand and looks up at her with his adorable blue eyes.

"Why are you and Uncle Luke fighting?" he asks innocently.

She smiles sadly back at him. "It's a long story, buddy."

It really is a long story and Jamie knows most of it, but he still doesn't fully understand and she can't blame him because _she _doesn't even really understand what happened. She turns to look outside again, but his car is gone and Haley is walking back to the house.

A second ago she was happy that she wouldn't have to talk to him right away, only hours after returning home. But now, after seeing his broken face in his car, she finds herself disappointed. She knows she needs to talk to him soon and apologize for her actions, but most of all she just has to let him know that she _cares_.

**888**

It's days like these that he wishes he could play basketball like he used to. He wishes he could play until he'd hit the pavement in exhaustion. But he can't. And he's gotten used to it, but today is different—today he needs any sort of distraction he can get.

Basketball clears his mind. It takes all of his troubles and worries and temporarily erases them. That's why he's playing right now—he wants to just forget everything, if only for a minute.

But, as he makes one shot after another, for once in his life he _can't_ forget. If anything it just makes him remember. The River Court tends to make him sentimental and today is no exception.

Feeling his heart pumping wildly in his chest, he decides that it's time he gives up. He walks over to the benches and sits down, putting his head in his hands.

He'd gotten a glimpse of her yesterday when he stopped by Nathan and Haley's and, as crazy at it sounds, he'd felt the strong rush of love that he had never fully lost erupt in his heart as his eyes caught sight of the side of her face. He'd looked away immediately but it was too late— it brought back ever single memory she and him had ever shared.

He hates thinking about it but sometimes remembering is what heals the body most. If he's being honest with himself, it's that if he's learned anything over this last two years, it's that remembering— never forgetting what he once had— is what gives him the strength to continue living.

And so his mind drifts to the night it all changed and, despite everything that's happened since then, Lucas smiles at the memory.

_He's standing in the New York bar, trying to fend off the boredom that had long since come. He's grateful to be here, especially since this party is for him, but after hours of conversation with high end business men and people he's never met, he is growing increasingly bored._

_But it's still amazing to think about _why_ he is here: someone actually wants to publish his book. His new editor, Lindsay Strauss, is very encouraging and he feels like this is really going to be good. Especially with everything that has happened with Peyton. It's a new beginning and he's happy to try to move on._

"_Excuse me, Mr. Scott." A voice interrupts his thoughts. "There's someone here to see you. She said to tell you she's from Tree Hill."_

_He's confused at first, but then he sees a familiar face appear in the crowd of people and he cracks a smile. He knew she'd come._

"_Well, well, Lucas Scott," Brooke says, a grin on her face._

_He pulls her into a hug and it feels strangely right to have her in his arms. "You got my message."_

"_You think I was going to miss the chance to spend a night on the town with a soon to be best-selling author?" she asks playfully as she pulls away._

_He just looks into her eyes, a deep feeling of warmth that he only gets when he's in her presence filling his soul. _

"_God, it is good to see you, Brooke."_

_He hadn't expected to be so happy to see her, but he can't lie— it feels amazing to be with her again. He hasn't seen her in months and he knows that he's lucky to be with her now. _

_They escape his party a few minutes later and she takes him to her huge house. They catch up and she tells him about her business and all the new stuff her mother wants her to add on to Clothes Over Bros. He is more than impressed at her success. She's done so amazingly well in the short amount of time since he's graduated and he still doesn't know how she does it all._

_Then the subject changes to Peyton and he hesitantly decides to tell her everything. _

"_We broke up."_

_Brooke's shocked and he goes on to explain that he proposed to Peyton in LA the day before and she said no. Brooke thinks he's crazy for proposing, and somehow he thinks she's right; he and Peyton definitely weren't ready for that sort of commitment._

_As he sits with her later that night eating dinner with her at one of her favorite restaurants, he feels more content than he has in a long time. Being with Brooke makes it easy to forget that he was just rejected by the girl he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with. And, if he's being honest with himself, it also makes him a little thankful that Peyton said no—because if she hadn't he wouldn't be sitting with the _other_ girl he had once dreamed of sharing the rest of his life with. He's happy here with Brooke and right now that's all that matters to him._

_Then, when Brooke asks to see Peyton's ring again and he hands it to her, the hostess at the restaurant thinks they're engaged. And since free champagne is involved, he and Brooke decide to go along with it. _

_He looks down, seeing the ring on her finger, and he suddenly starts to wish that they _weren't_ pretending, that she was really going to be his wife someday. Maybe he's just lonely, or maybe it's the effect of the alcohol, but he truly feels that he's been wrong this past year…Maybe it wasn't Peyton who he was meant to be with after all._

_And maybe Peyton rejecting his proposal was the best thing to ever happen to him._

_Later on, as they used their new "engagement" to get a free carriage ride, his feelings about Brooke aren't going away. And, as the driver asks us what they have planned for their life together, he actually thinks those resurrected feelings are only deepening. _

"_We're gonna be a power couple," she says, grinning at Lucas. "He's gonna be a famous novelist and I'm gonna have a fabulous fashion line."_

"_But we're still gonna have time to have a big family," he adds._

"_Two boys and a girl."_

"_And I'll coach little league."_

"_Ooh, and I'll bake treats for the team! Or buy them..."_

"_Then we'll spend our summers in our beach house..."_

"…_And winters in the south of France."_

"_It won't matter where we are, as long as we're together." He looks at her now, and somehow he knows he's not pretending anymore. He can picture a life with her, maybe not exactly as they just described, but something similar and beautiful and real and, in that moment, he wants it more than anything._

"_That's the key," the driver said, and now the air was serious. "Success is wonderful, but finding someone to love and having them love you back…Love is what it's all about."_

_At this Lucas looks away awkwardly and he can feel Brooke's eyes on him. He knows she thinks he's thinking about Peyton, and maybe he is a little bit, but he's also thinking of her and the love they once shared. What they'd had had been amazing and sometimes he wonders how things would be if she hadn't stopped missing him…_

_Later that night, she comes up with him to his hotel room. He's drunk, more so than he'd like to admit, and he can tell she is a little bit too. And, as he falls into bed and she tells him that she's going to get him to bed and then head home, he does something that he knows she won't like, but somehow he just _needs _to. _

_He kisses her._

_And for a few short wondrous moments, she kisses him back._

_And then she's pulling away and she starts rambling on about how that's the second stupidest thing he's done in the past twenty-four hours and that he's just missing Peyton. But it's _not_ Peyton he's missing; in fact, Peyton has been the last thing on his mind tonight._

_He wants Brooke and he'd be lying if he said he didn't. Maybe he's a little drunk, but he is sober enough to know that Peyton doesn't hold a candle to the way he feels about Brooke Davis._

_Brooke makes him feel good about himself and she makes him feel like he can do anything. She makes him feel whole and, after over a year of being apart from her, he knows this. He knows this because he hasn't felt complete for a long time now, but tonight he finally does._

_She stops talking and he looks up at her. She looks like she's waiting for a reaction but he doesn't say anything. Instead he grabs for her hand and pulls her back down as their lips crash together once again. _

_He knows she wants to pull away— he can tell by the way her lips struggle to open and allow his tongue to meet hers and by the way her arms seem to be resisting the urge to wrap around his neck. _

_But she gives in. She falls on top of him on his bed and his hands are gripping her so tightly. He's afraid that she'll be pull away again and he doesn't want that, not when this feels so right._

_But it's inevitable. _

_She's panting as she shoves him away. There are tears in her eyes and her shoulders sag as she stares at him with a defeated look in her eyes._

"_Why are you doing this?" she asks, taking a long, steadying breath. A tear falls down her cheek and he knows that what he's doing to her is hurting her more than she'd ever admit. But she has good reason to feel this way— he's hurt her so many times. But as he looks into her sad eyes, he promises himself that he will never hurt her again, not if he can help it. _

_He wants to tell her he loves her, but he knows that will be too much for bothof them. Instead he tells her another truth._

"_I need you."_

_She looks at him grimly. "I won't be a rebound, Lucas." _

_He grips her hand tightly. "You aren't."_

"_I don't believe you."_

"_You need to trust me. Please."_

"_But Peyton…"_

"_I don't want her anymore," he tries to assure her._

_She shakes her head and he knows she's going to deny him. "But you still love her."_

"_Maybe," he says, knowing that there is truth in that, "but I still love you too. And I've been lying to myself this past year when I told myself I didn't."_

_She's looking anywhere but him, but he puts his hand on her cheek, tilting her chin to look at him. _

"_I will never hurt you again."_

_She doesn't believe him, he can easily tell, but somehow she is falling back towards him and her lips cover his once more. This time she is not hesitant. His hands tear at her dress and soon they are reacquainting themselves with each other's bodies. _

_And it feels right._

_His last conscious thought of that night was that he was not going to let Brooke Davis go ever again…_

How wrong he was…

He's happy to be pulled away from the memory as he sees a familiar car pulling up and a familiar person getting out of it. A big smile covers his face as he makes his way over to her.

"Peyton," he says, pulling her into a hug, "it's great to have you home."

"It's great to _be _home."

She's grinning ear to ear. Things between the two of them have been over for years now and, although their interest in each other romantically is gone completely, their friendship is strong. He and Peyton had always done so much better as friends, according to himself and almost everyone else he knew. In his eyes, when they weren't together, no one ever ended up hurt and they could live their lives the way they wanted to. That wasn't to say that he had never loved Peyton because he had and it had been passionate and real. But the fiery love that they had once shared has disappeared and they know that they are not meant to be. Peyton turning down his proposal had been the right choice and had allowed them to properly move on in their lives.

"So," Lucas says, "you're starting your own record label. That's pretty amazing."

She just nods, a huge smile on her face. "I'm taking a pretty big risk. I just hope it will work out."

"Well, I meant what I said the other day about using that space above Tric to start up."

"I know and I'm definitely accepting, but you _have_ to let me pay."

He shakes his head. "Nope. Maybe when you've got some artists under your belt, but until then you're using that place free of charge."

"Lucas—"

He puts a hand in the air to stop her from protesting. He had told her over and over again that she wasn't going to be paying and he still means it.

"There's no use arguing, Peyton, so you might as well stop now."

She looks at him pointedly but nods. "Alright, I feel bad, but if that's what you want, I won't try stopping you. I appreciate it more than you could know."

He smiles in victory as he puts an arm around her shoulders and they walk over to the benches.

"So how are things with Jake going?" he asks as they sit down.

"Really good." A small smile is shining brightly on her face as she speaks.

About a year after he and Peyton had broken up, Peyton had reconnected with Jake. They'd taken things slowly, especially since they were living on opposite ends of the country, but they'd soon gotten back together and only a few months ago, Jake had proposed to her. Peyton had said yes, absolutely no hesitation in her answer, something Lucas found to be even more proof that he and she simply weren't meant to be.

Now she was moving back and moving forward with her life, getting ready to start her own record label and planning her wedding to the man she loved. Jake was still living in Savannah with Jenny, but was making plans to move back to Tree Hill within the next few months.

"Did you two set a date yet?"

She nods excitedly and he's happy that _she's_ happy. "We both want a late summer wedding so we decided on August 15th."

"Wow, a little more than eight months away."

"Crazy, huh?"

He just smiles. "Crazy that you're getting married in less than a year? A little. Crazy that you're getting married? No, not at all…I'm glad you're finally happy, Peyton."

She looks at him with a grateful smile. "Thanks, Luke... So, I'm not sure if I should bring this up, but I'm going to. Brooke's back. How are you taking it?"

He tenses at her words and he knows she can tell, but he has absolutely no desire to talk about this right now.

"Lucas, you should know that she feels really bad about everything. She picked me up at the airport today and she just looked so sad. I really think you should just talk to her and try to settle everything."

"It's not that easy," he says, frustration evident in his voice. "Anyway, I'm with Lindsay now."

"I didn't tell you that you had to get back together with Brooke, did I? I just think you should talk, that's all. Although if you two _want_ to get back together, I wouldn't object."

She says that half-jokingly and half-serious, but he doesn't find her words funny at all. There's a part of him that still yearns for Brooke and all that they could have had, but he knows that they are in the past and they will never be together again. He has Lindsay now. He doesn't need Brooke anymore.

At least that's what he keeps telling himself.

"That's not going to happen, Peyton."

She looks away from him and he can tell she is feeling a guilty for prodding him. He puts a hand on her knee.

"Thanks for being a great friend," he says. He may not be ready to talk right now, but he still wants her to know that he's grateful that she cares.

She nods, smiling lightly, and puts her arm around his shoulder. "Right back at you, Luke, right back at you…"

* * *

**A/N: **I know, it sounds like this is gonna be another 'they slept together in New York' story, and I guess it is, but it's going to be a bit different, you'll just have to keep reading to understand why ;). From this point on, this story's going to be very flashback heavy. Throughout the course of the story each flashback will sort of piece together the puzzle of the mystery of why Brooke and Lucas are so estranged. So the New York flashback was only the beginning of many…

Thanks so much to all who reviewed last chapter! You all inspired me to post this chapter much sooner than I originally was planning to. So with that said, please be sure to leave a review for this chapter too :D!


	3. Crooked Souls

**Crooked Souls**

Brooke's not sure that she should be here.

She has settled into her newly attained beach house, which she has to admit she very pleased with, but now, as she stands in the middle of another building—this one much more familiar—she plans on making another hasty purchase.

That is, if Lucas doesn't object.

The fact that Brooke wants to by his mother's old café and turn it into the newest branch of Clothes Over Bros might bother him, but this place looks perfect for what she want to do and, in the past three days that she has been back in Tree Hill, she has found no other spot that fits her criteria like this one.

She _needs _this place.

But, once again, only if Lucas doesn't object.

But if the fact that he's been avoiding her for the past three days has anything to do with his feelings towards her, then she thinks he might do just that. After all, the idea of her taking over his mother's old pride and joy would probably be an aggravating thought. According to Haley, her being back in town apparently threatened him in that he thought she would take over everything-- his family, friends, his _life_-- in Tree Hill.

She really has no idea what that means and she has no time to dwell on it as Peyton has just appeared at the door. Her best friend peeks through the dusty glass and waves at her. She smiles, waving at her to come in.

"Wow," Peyton said, looking around with wide eyes. "It's been forever since I've last been in here."

Brooke smiles. "It's still the same old place, though."

Peyton nods, and then her eyes land on her and she walks over and puts a hand around Brooke's shoulders. "So you really want to buy this place?"

Brooke nods, looking uncertainly around the room. She is absolutely sure that she wants this place; she's just not sure that it's going to happen.

"I talked to Karen today," Brooke explains, "and she thinks it's a great idea. She really wants to sell it to me."

"That's great," Peyton says, smiling at her encouragingly. She frowns as she notices Brooke doesn't look too excited. "Wait, why don't you seem happy about this?"

"I am," Brooke assures her, "I just know that there's no way I can buy this without Lucas' permission and I really don't think he's going to want me to buy it."

Peyton sighs and sits down on the beat down counter top that they used to eat off of all the time. She pats the spot next to her and Brooke sits down.

"You want me to be honest with you?" she asks and Brooke nods. "Okay, well, first of all, I really don't think Lucas is going to try to stop you. He may be feeling bitter about everything, but he's got no reason to try to stop you from building something that's going to be great. But, and here's the tough part, in order to actually get his permission, you've got to _talk_ to him."

Brooke resists the urge to roll her eyes and instead stares forlornly out the window. "You think I don't know that?"

"I know you do…Look, I talked to Lucas yesterday and—"

The moment Peyton mentions this she cuts her off. "You _talked_ to him? What did he say? Did he ask about me? Was he angry? How did he look—?"

"Brooke, _seriously_, enough with the twenty questions."

Brooke smiles apologetically, looking down at her feet as she tries to calm her anxious mind. She's been too much of a coward to actually speak to Lucas herself, but the moment anyone else mentions him, she leaps at the chance to get some information.

"To answer your first question, yes, I talked to him. I met him down at the River Court. He looked pretty good. He was kind of just brooding on the benches when I got there, but he was playing basketball earlier. And no, he didn't get angry when I mentioned you. He was just a little frustrated and kind of defensive and definitely a little sad. But he wasn't angry at all."

As she finishes, Brooke stares out the windows, her eyes resting on nothing in particular as she digest Peyton's words. It's good to know that at least he isn't angry at the mere mention of her name anymore. Maybe if she just talked to him, things could get better.

Of course she needs to talk to him— that is painfully obvious— but one big question remains: is she ready?

She doesn't think so. But then again, it isn't likely she _ever_ will be ready.

"You should go see him," Peyton says, after Brooke fails to respond.

"I know."

"You need to talk."

"I know."

"You're probably just making things worse by not going to see him."

"I know."

"Are you only going to respond to all my questions by saying 'I know' because if you are, then I'm just gonna stop talking."

Brooke sighs, not in the mood for Peyton's teasing. "Sorry."

She makes it a goal to talk to Lucas sometime soon, however her definition of 'soon' really isn't very accurate and she starts to wonder if soon will ever even come.

"Brooke…" Her best friend puts a sympathetic hand on her knee. "It's going to be okay."

She nods. "I know."

But what she really wants to say is, "No, it isn't."

**888**

By the time Lucas reaches his brother's house, he isn't sure he's going to make it to practice on time. He only has ten minutes to spare, but Nathan has been cooped up in his house the whole day and Lucas needs to talk to him before he loses his chance.

"Hi, Nate," he says, sitting next to his brother on the couch. Nathan's wheelchair is situated at the right of the couch and Lucas eyes it wearily. Ever since his accident, Nathan has been struggling to return back to normal. His hair is long and unkept and he drinks more often than he should. Lucas is worried and so is Haley, but they know that in time he will recover.

"Hey." Nathan's eyes are concentrated on a college basketball game on TV.

"So," Lucas begins, "I'm heading to practice at the school and I was thinking that maybe you could come along. The Ravens would love to get some tips from the glorified Nathan Scott."

This all came out very fast and he wasn't sure at all how Nathan would take it. He had wanted to ask Nathan to help coach for awhile now, but had refrained from asking until he knew there was a chance Nathan would say yes. And, since Haley had said Nathan had been a lot more talkative lately, he figured now was a good a time as ever.

Nathan's head slowly twists away from the TV and towards him. His expression is blank and Lucas has no idea how he will react.

"Why would they want a guy in a wheelchair giving them tips?" was all he said.

Lucas sighs, wishing there was some way that he could get it through his brother's head that, even though he was in a wheelchair, he could still make a difference in people's lives.

"I know you think your life is useless right now, Nathan, but you still have everything ahead of you. You'll walk again someday, I can promise you that, but until then, there's still so much that you can do…And helping to coach the Ravens is one of them."

Nathan shakes his head, but Lucas sees a small sparkle of hope in his brother's eyes. "Not today, Luke..."

He nods, knowing there is little point in forcing anything else on Nathan. He stands to go, but Nathan grunts for him to stop.

"You talk to Brooke yet?"

Lucas rolls his eyes, turning to leave. He didn't come here to talk about Brooke.

"No," he says. "I'll see you later, Nathan."

"Don't wait too much longer, coward!" Nathan calls after him.

If Nathan wasn't in the condition he was in, Lucas would have socked him for calling him a coward. But today, after Nathan had spent these last few months barely speaking, hearing him call him that just makes him smile.

Maybe he is getting better after all.

**888**

_His hands are wrapped around her waist and her naked back is pressed up against his bare chest. She holds his limp hands in her own and his soft breathes echo in her ear. Everything about this situation seems so perfect. _

_Then why does it feel so wrong?_

_She doesn't want to open her eyes because then she'll have to leave. There's no way she can stay after what happened last night. There's a part of her that wonders if he'll even remember. He was so drunk and so was she. Maybe if she can slip away before he wakes, he'll forget it ever happened._

_Very carefully, she slides from his arms. A wave of relief washes of her when he doesn't wake up. She reaches for her clothes and pulls her dress back on. Grabbing her purse, she is just about to open the door when his tired voice call after her._

"_Brooke…"_

_She takes a deep breath and turns around. She can't leave him now, not when he's actually seen her. He's sitting up, his eyes penetrating her face, and she looks away at anything but him. She just can't look at him right now._

"_Were you going to leave?"_

"_Yes."_

_There's a pause that she makes no move to break. "Why?"_

_His question infuriates her. Does he really not know what would happen if she stayed? He would of course give her a million reasons to stay, tell her he loves her, that he won't hurt her again, and she would listen because she loves him too much not to believe him. And then, after a short time of bliss, he would change his mind and go running back to Peyton, his soulmate. That's what would happen and there's no way she's going to go through that again._

"_Because we can't do this. You're just missing Peyton and I'm the rebound."_

"_I told you last night that you weren't and I still mean that."_

_He is standing up now and soon he is right in front of her. He tries desperately to meet her gaze, but she refuses. His hands come to the side of her face and her face is looking straight up at him. Her eyes, however, remain looking downward._

"_Pretty Girl, look at me."_

_She flinches at his old nickname for her and finally she does look at him, but there is fury in her gaze. "_Don't_ call me that."_

_He looks surprised at her reaction, but his eyes never dare to leave hers. "Brooke," he says, "I know that I've hurt you in the past, but you have to know that last night was one of the greatest nights of my life. My book's being published—one of my biggest dreams—and guess who was standing next to me? It was you, Brooke; the one person who I wanted there in the first place. And I realized that it's _you_ that I want standing next to me. Not Peyton. And I know that I proposed to her a few days ago, but it's only because I saw her slipping away and I felt like I was going to lose my safety net. I was ready to start a family and really start my life, and at the time Peyton was my only option. She was the easy way out. But being with you, I realized that she doesn't make me feel the way I do when I'm with you. With you, I'm whole, and with her, I'm only half a man."_

_She has had enough. It was hard enough to look him in the eye, but to hear him give her another one of his famed Lucas Scott embarrassing speeches was just too much. _

"_I have to go," she says, turning around. His hand reaches for her wrist, but she flings it away. _

"_I love you." There's a deep sense of both longing and sheer honesty in his voice and she almost turns around again. _Almost_. But she knows that she can't stay. It's what's best for the both of them._

_She takes another unsteady breath and twists the door knob. "Don't follow me."_

_And then she opens the door and walks down the long, lonely hall, not once looking back._

**888**

It is the strangest feeling to be walking through the hallways of her old high school again. She's pretty sure that the last time she had been here was when she graduated. But Haley is teaching here now and Brooke had decided that it is time she visited her. She finds Haley's classroom easily. Memories of high school flush through her mind as she enters the familiar classroom where she took literature during her junior year. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Haley looks up from her desk in surprise as Brooke enters. "Brooke! What are you doing here?"

"Hey, tutor girl, or should I say _teacher_ girl. I just thought I'd stop by and check out your new digs. I can't believe you're actually teaching here now."

"I know, it's crazy. It seems like just yesterday that we were in here ourselves."

"Really? It feels like forever ago to me. So much has happened since high school…"

Haley's looking at her sympathetically and Brooke rolls her eyes. If she's figured out one thing over the past few years, it's that she hates both sympathy and pity. It only makes her feel worse.

"So," she says, deciding to change the subject, "did Peyton tell you I'm thinking of buying Karen's Café to use for Clothes Over Bros?"

Haley arches an eyebrow. "No, she didn't. That sounds like a great idea, though. The place has been closed down for a few years now and it's about time it got some use out of it. Have you talked to Karen about it?"

She nods. "Yeah, I have. She really wants me to buy it."

Haley looks at her curiously. "You don't seem very excited about it."

Brooke takes a deep breath and leans against one of the desk. "I just don't know how Lucas will feel about it."

"Ah, yes, Lucas… Well, I don't know why he wouldn't be okay with it."

Brooke sends Haley a look. How can she think that Lucas would be perfectly fine with her buying his mother's old business? She was under the impression that Lucas would probably prefer anyone _but_ her to buy it.

"I'm not so sure about that, Haley. From what I've heard, Lucas is pretty angry with me. And I don't blame him at all, but it just makes me worry that he wouldn't be thrilled with me buying his mom's place."

Haley stands up from her seat and walks over to her, putting her hands on Brooke's shoulders. "Listen to me, Brooke—Lucas is _not_ angry with you. He's still hurting, though, and I guess he's probably a little bit bitter that you're coming back when he's _just_ starting to get over all that's happened. But he cares so much about you, although he doesn't always like to admit it…but he does and he won't try to stop you from chasing after your dreams. You and I both know that he's not that type of guy."

Brooke looks down at the floor and slowly nods. Haley is right about everything as usual and there is probably no need to worry.

"Thank you, Haley. I needed a little boost of encouragement."

Haley grins and pulls her into a hug. "Anytime. I'm always here for you, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I do. And the same goes for you. I know you've been having a tough time lately and whenever you need to talk…"

Haley smiles. "I know. Thank you, Brooke."

"Well, I should probably—."

A knock on the door interrupts the rest of her sentence.

"Hales, did you…"

Brooke tenses up immediately at the sound of the very familiar voice and both her and Haley turn to look at the figure standing at the door. He's standing there with an expression that could only be described as surprise; he obviously wasn't expecting to see her here. Then his face tenses up and his eyes narrow.

All the while she just stands there, her mouth hanging open, utterly speechless. She hadn't been expecting to see him here either. But she also hadn't expected how good it feels to be in his presence again. For the first time, she realizes just how much she had missed him. And so she can't help that her lips twitch into a very small smile as she stares at him in otherwise complete shock.

For a few painful seconds, there is complete silence. No one makes a move to say or do anything. And then Haley speaks.

"Hey, Luke…"

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter! I haven't been able to respond to many of them, but I want you to know that I appreciate every single one!

I know that not too much happened in this chapter, but next chapter Brooke will finally face Lucas...or will she? :D You'll find out soon...

Thanks for reading and please review!


	4. Runaways

**Runaways**

_The hotel room is almost completely dark. All the curtains are drawn and only the dim light of the lamp next to his bed offers any source of light. It's a depressing atmosphere, but it describes how he is feeling right now._

_Confused, lost, _alone_._

_He sits on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the wall. He was supposed to go back to Tree Hill in a few hours, but he knew he couldn't leave when things are such a mess, and so he had cancelled his flight and booked another week for his hotel room. Haley and Nathan are wondering what's going on. He told them about his book being published and they are thrilled for him, but they don't understand why he doesn't want to come home yet. Of course they would understand if they knew about Brooke, but they don't. And it will stay that way for as long as Brooke wants it to-- which could possibly be never._

_It's been two days since his night with Brooke and he hasn't stopped thinking about her. Not even thoughts of Peyton could distract him. It amazes him that one night changed everything for him. One night made him wonder if his love for Peyton was truly ever as great as everyone thought it was. One night made him realize just how much he had lost his way over the last year. _

_And one night made him realize that he is still desperately in love with Brooke Davis._

_But now he wonders if he and Brooke will ever find their way back to each other again. She's made it clear that she doesn't want anything to do with him right now. He's called her countless times, leaving just as many messages, and she has ignored them all. He tried going to her apartment, hoping that he could possibly run into her on her way out, but it had been in vain. She had been nowhere in sight and she hadn't answered her door when he knocked._

_What makes it worse is that he completely understands why she is acting the way she is._

_She thinks he will hurt her again. And her fears are completely justified. He had hurt her in the past, probably more times than anyone else she knew, except, perhaps, Peyton. _

_She has always guarded her heart and she once told him that he was the only one who she ever fully gave it to. She gave everything to him, only to have him push it away like it meant nothing to him. He could have fought for her after she broke up with him during senior year. He _should_ have fought for her. But he didn't. He let her go, but he kept half of her heart with him. And she never got it back. _

_But he doesn't _want_ to give it back. He wants her forever. He knows that now, but he has to make sure she knows that too. That's why he isn't leaving just yet. He is going to stay here and try to at least let her know that he is never going to let her go again. He will fight for her over and over. He will not give up this time and he will not take the easy way out again._

_And that's exactly what Peyton had been — the easy way out. When Brooke broke up with him, she pushed him towards Peyton. Everyone pushed him towards Peyton. They all seemed to think they belonged together. He hadn't believed it at first; how could he possibly belong with Peyton when he loved Brooke so much? But eventually, after Brooke continually pushed him away and dismissed their love for each other, he decided to give in. And soon, he found himself believing with the rest of them. After all, being with Peyton was just so easy._

_But now he knows better. He knows that love isn't supposed to be easy. You have to work at it. There will be fights and rough patches, but you work them out. You don't just give up when the going gets tough. But he gave up with Peyton because he found that it wasn't worth it any more. The fire in their relationship had died. And the sad part was that he didn't really care._

_So he set both of them free. And he hasn't regretted the decision at all. He doesn't think he ever will._

_But Brooke… He needs her. He can't envision life without her anymore. _

_He lets out a frustrated sigh and falls onto his bed. His eyes travel to where his cell phone sits on the side table, silently willing for it to ring and for Brooke to be on the other line._

_And, as if by some sort of miracle, it does ring._

_His hands reach for his cell phone in excitement, but his eyes fall as he reads the name on the screen._

_Peyton._

_He drops the phone onto the bed and lies back down again. He can't talk to her right now. _

_He had talked to Peyton very briefly two days ago, letting her know that they were over, that he couldn't be with her anymore, not when they didn't share the same dreams and not when he was questioning his feelings for her. It wasn't fair to either of them. She had begged him to reconsider, reminding him of all the good times they had shared together and reminding him that they were meant to be. But her words did little to move him. He felt bad for her; after all he _did_ love her, he just wasn't _in_ love with her anymore. But he didn't have any desire to pack up his bags and go back to her, despite the fact that he knew she'd take him back in a second._

_His phone lets out another ring, signaling that she has left a message. He picks up the phone and puts it on speaker._

"_Lucas." Her voice sounds tired and worn. "I've done a lot of thinking over the last couple of days and I wanted you to know that I'm going to give you some space. I don't really understand how everything can just end like this, but I'm not going to waste my time trying to figure it out if you don't care enough to do the same. The other day you said we were over and if that's what you want, then that's what you'll get. I do love you, Luke, but obviously that's not enough for you anymore, and I'm starting to wonder if it's enough for me too. So, I guess you might be right—maybe this breakup is for the best. Goodbye, Lucas."_

_He feels bad, he truly does. He wishes he hadn't had to hurt Peyton like this. But she seems to understand more than he thought she would and he is grateful for that. It will make things easier when their paths eventually cross again._

_But he wonders how Peyton would feel if she knew about what happened between Brooke and him. Betrayed is probably the best word to describe it. And Brooke is probably killing herself right now for giving into him. She is probably accusing herself of betrayal right in this very moment. And it kills him to know that she's hurting again because of him. Both Brooke _and _Peyton are hurting._

_His eyes clench shut. He's hates himself for doing this to them and he wants them to know that. But, for the time being, there is only one girl who he feels the desire to comfort and to be there for. _

_And so he picks up his phone again and dials the familiar number. His hands grip the phone tightly and he prays that she will pick up. Just this once._

_But she doesn't and so he leaves another message._

"_It's me again. I just want you to know that I'm here and I'm not leaving this time. Whenever you're ready, I'll be here for you, friend or more— I'll be whatever you want me to be. I love you, Brooke, and I'll never stop. I promise you that."_

**888**

"Hey Luke..."

He's not even sure what's happening right now. All he knows is that _she_ is standing a few feet away from him, looking more beautiful than he can ever remember. And he wants so badly to be so angry with her, yell at her and scream at her for messing up his life, but he can't. Because this is Brooke Davis standing right in front of him. And he once loved her more than anyone in the world. Sometimes he wonders if he still does.

But at the same time, seeing her sweet face again reminds him of all that has happened and the flow of memories that surge through his brain are completely overwhelming. And soon disappointment pours over his body and he just can't look at her anymore. Not when looking at her brings him so much pain.

And so he turns away and practically runs down the hall. He's a coward — there's simply no denying that fact — but he just can't deal with her right now.

Haley's voice is calling him back, but he keeps walking. "Lucas, wait!"

Her heels echo loudly in the empty hallways and soon she has caught up to him. She forcefully grabs his arm.

"You _can't_ keep running away from her, Lucas!"

At this, his feet finally stop moving. He twists around and glares at his best friend.

"_I _can't keep running away?" A bitter laugh escapes his lips. "I'm not the one who ran away, Haley. I think you're confusing me with Brooke."

Haley's looking at him with narrowed eyes. She's just trying to help mend the broken relationship between him and Brooke, and he's thankful for that, but right now that just isn't possible.

When she doesn't respond, he just heaves a big sigh. "I'm sorry," he says in a much calmer voice, "I shouldn't have yelled at you. I know you're just trying to help me."

"It's okay." Haley smiles softly at him. "Listen, I know that Brooke coming home is messing up all the progress you've made since she left, but you have to talk to her. There's no way you'll ever fully recover unless you do."

"I just…I don't even know what to say to her, Hales."

"You don't have to throw everything on the table right away, Luke. Start off slowly. Maybe you can just let her know that you _don't_ hate her."

"She doesn't think I do, does she?" He hopes not. Even though every so often a burst of anger would rush through him and he would claim he did in fact hate her, he was always lying. The idea of her thinking that he actually does makes him feel horrible.

Haley just shrugs. "I don't know…"

His shoulders sag. "I don't hate her," he says softly.

Haley's eyes are shining with sympathy as she looks at him. "I know."

"I…just wish things hadn't turned out this way, that's all."

"Tell her that." Haley looks pointedly down the hallway. "She's still here, Lucas, and she wants to see you. Believe it or not, she's been beating herself up all these years for the decisions she made. She just wants to make things right."

He has to talk to her. He knows he does. But he's scared—scared of what staying in a room with her for more than a few seconds will do to him and scared of the way she makes him feel. But he has to. He can't run away any longer and neither can she.

And so he starts walking back towards Haley's classroom.

"Be nice to her, Lucas," Haley says from behind him. "She's still as fragile as the day she left."

And so is he.

**888**

There's something about a school that makes time automatically go by slower. She's not sure what it is, but it never fails. The minutes that tick by feel like hours and she wonders if she should just leave. Obviously neither Haley nor Lucas are going to come back.

She's just about to sling her bag over her shoulder and leave, when the door opens again. She freezes.

He simply stands there, his hands in his pockets, and looks as if he's debating whether or not he should actually come all the way inside.

Then their eyes lock and for a moment she sees the same spark in his eyes that he used to have whenever he looked at her. It's love in his eyes. She knows because she's looking at him the same way. But then it disappears and is clouded over by an air of indifference.

"Lucas." Her voice seems to come out as a squeak.

His head bobs into a nod. "Brooke."

An awkward silence sets in and she quickly thinks of something to say. "How are you?"

He takes a deep breath. "I'm okay."

"Oh… um, that's good." She really doesn't know what else to say. Her mind is completely blank. This is what Lucas Scott does to her.

Finally, he walks forward and leans on Haley's desk, crossing his arms. "Brooke, I…" His voice trails off immediately and he looks down at the ground. "I want you to know that I'm okay with you coming back."

This surprises her. "You are?"

He nods slowly. "Yeah. It was hard at first…thinking that you were home. And it still is. But this is your home too. Everyone who matters to you is here and I knew eventually that you'd have to come back. I actually just thought that you'd be home sooner…"

There's something about the way he says the last sentence that makes her feel incredibly guilty. He thought she'd be back _sooner_. What does that mean? Was he calling her a coward for taking over two years to come home again? He's probably right if he is. She _is_ a coward. She has been running away from her problems and fears, hoping that they will solve themselves while at the same time knowing that they simply won't. But she's facing them now, isn't she?

He's looking at her oddly, probably expecting her to say something, but she's still at a loss for words.

"I…I'm sorry," was all she could manage to stutter out.

He looks a little surprised at her words, but nods. "I know…Look, you and I…we've been through a lot together. And you're always going to be a part of my life. I know that and I'm okay with that. Truth is, I still care a lot about you. But I've moved on. I don't know if Haley told you, but Lindsay and I are together."

"She did," Brooke says. Her voice is to be coming back now, especially since Lucas seems to be going out of his way to make sure that she feels comfortable around him. Or maybe he's not. Maybe she just automatically always feels comfortable around him, despite their past, because that's simply the effect he has on her.

"And I'm happy for you," she continues. "It's good that you've been able to move on."

She really isn't that happy, as selfish as it sounds, but she does care about him and wants him to be happy. And if that means him moving on without her, then she will eventually get used to it and be genuinely happy for him. When that will actually happen, though, is a mystery.

Once again, he looks surprised. "Thanks. Lindsay's great…she's been there for me throughout this thing…She's been so supportive and just…amazing."

His words are like an icy knife piercing her heart. Hearing it come from his own mouth that Lindsay has been there for him is a hard thing to take in. Because it should have been _her_. _She_ should have been the one who was there for him when he needed her most._ She_ should have been his support system. Not Lindsay.

"That…that's great, Lucas." The words can barely make it out of her mouth and suddenly she's not so sure how much longer she'll be able to hold out in front of him, especially since tears are springing to her eyes.

He nods again, thankfully not noticing her distress. "I guess what I'm trying to say, though, is that I want things between us to be at least civil. We share the same friends and we live so close to each other that it would be impossible for us to have any grudges towards each other. So I don't want things to be awkward, for everyone's sake."

"I agree." By now, it is taking an abundant effort for her to choke out any word.

A silence takes over once again and soon he turns to leave. "Okay," he says, smiling lightly at her. His smile seems very forced but that's okay, because hers is as well. "I guess I'll see you around, then."

"Yeah…"

"Goodbye, Brooke."

And then he's gone and the tears that she's been holding back are pouring down her cheeks like a waterfall. Not even five minutes in his presence and he's got her sobbing uncontrollably. Haley's back in the room a minute later and her arms pull Brooke into a tight hug. She whispers words of comfort into her ear, but at this point, Brooke's pretty sure that nothing can comfort her now.

She will forever be broken.

* * *

**A/N: **I was planning on posting this tomorrow, but I didn't want you to wait too much longer since I left you with a bit of a cliffhanger last chapter. Kind of short, I know, but it felt right to end the chapter there. Please review and let me know what you think!!!


	5. Trying to Stay Up Straight

**Trying to Stay Up Straight**

Throwing his coat lazily onto the floor, Lucas falls onto his couch in one swift motion. His head rests against the soft pillow and his body stretches out tiredly. Today hasn't exactly gone according to plan, at least in certain areas. For instance, he hadn't planned on either seeing or talking to Brooke today. But he had.

It had been a bit odd, just talking to her. He likes to think he had been nice, but he doesn't know for sure. She had looked a bit overwhelmed when he left and he's pretty sure it was because of his mention of Lindsay. For a second he wonders if he should have brought it up, but he knows that he had to eventually. He couldn't let Brooke think he is still in love with her.

He's moved on. She obviously hasn't. That's all there is to it.

Still, he knows it must have hurt her and he starts to wonder if he maybe he was too harsh. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut. He'd hurt her enough in the past, why hurt her even more? It wasn't right of him to throw Lindsay in her face and he knows it now. He just wishes he'd realized it sooner. He's always been much too clueless when it comes to just about any woman and Brooke is no exception.

"You're home late." He is pulled away from his thoughts as Lindsay walks into the living room, giving him an odd look.

"Yeah, sorry, I went to the River Court after practice."

She sits on the edge of the couch. "You've been going there a lot lately."

"Yeah…It's just the best place for me to really think, you know?"

Lindsay nods. "Of course, you wrote all about the River Court in your book—about how it's the only place you really feel at peace. It's the place where you can forget all your troubles and really relax."

Lucas smiles as he sits up. "Exactly." He pats the spot next to him and she sits with him. His arm snakes around her shoulder and he places a soft kiss on her forehead.

"How was your day?" she asks as she leans her head on his shoulder.

"It was…productive."

She looks at him curiously. "How so?"

A sigh escapes his lips as he thinks about his little talk with Brooke. His time at the River Court had been devoted to deciphering the whole conversation and now he is in no mood to talk about it. But Lindsay is his girlfriend and she deserves to know.

"I talked to Brooke."

Her eyes widen in surprise and then she puts a comforting hand on his thigh. "How did it go? I hope you didn't yell at her, Luke, because from what's Haley's told me, she feels horrible about everything."

He grins slightly at the irony of Lindsay's concern for his ex-girlfriend. "I didn't yell at her, Lindsay."

Lindsay settles back down, a small smile on her face. "Good. Wait, _she_ didn't yell at you, did she? I swear if she did, I'll —."

He cuts her off with a laugh. "No, she didn't yell at me, either. It was all very civilized. I basically made it clear that I don't want any grudges between us and that I wanted to be civil with her."

"I guess that's pretty good progress...for now, at least."

"For now?"

Lindsay gives him a look. "You can't just expect that that one little talk will solve everything. You two obviously have a long way to go if you want to be friends again."

"That's the thing, though. I don't know if she and I can ever really be friends again."

Lindsay sighs and he can see frustration in her eyes. "Lucas, is what Brooke did really so horrible that you can't even see yourself ever being friends again?"

"She left," he says simply. "She left when I needed her most. And I don't know if I can ever get over that."

"You want to know what I think? I think you're being stubborn. I think you're resenting Brooke for making things harder on you and you're not thinking about the fact that maybe Brooke thought that leaving was best at the time."

Lucas rolls his eyes. "Brooke left because she was a coward. She should have faced her fears and dealt with all that had happened, but instead she left me to do it alone. And I would have understood if she came home after a few weeks, even after a few months. but it's been two years, Lindsay. _Two _years." He shakes his head, still not able to comprehend why she would stay away from him for so long. Hadn't she need him like he needed her? Feeling defeated, his voice softens slightly as he continues. "I suffered the hardest time of my life alone and that is her fault. It didn't have to be that way, but still she chose to leave. And that's hard to forget."

Lindsay takes both of his hands in her own and squeezes them reassuringly. "I know, Lucas. And I'm sorry if it seems I'm not being very supportive of you right now. It's just that I keep putting myself in Brooke's position and I just…I feel really bad for her, you know? She obviously came here to mend your friendship and I just hope that you'll be open to letting her do that."

His eyes fall down to their intertwined hands and he nods. Lindsay's right; he shouldn't push Brooke away or throw away the prospect of restoring their friendship. Brooke is sorry for leaving, he knows that. And he shouldn't punish her for that.

She's suffered enough as it is.

**888**

She walks swiftly down the familiar street on her way to the café, a cup of coffee in one hand and her ringing cell phone in the other. Her mother is calling and, as usual, is bugging her about the company. Victoria hadn't exactly been supportive of her daughter's plans to return to Tree Hill. In fact, she had been outright against it. But unfortunately for Victoria, there was little she could to dissuade Brooke and that is why her mother is trying to make her life a living hell right now. Of course this nothing new for Brooke, but at a time like this it is more than annoying.

Another thing to add to her annoyance is that, during her short conversation with Lucas yesterday, she had forgotten to ask him about buying the café. The one chance she'd had and she'd lost it. She could go to his house and ask, but the thought of visiting the place she and Lucas had once lived together makes her nauseous. And then there is the fact that Lindsay lives there now; that thought does nothing to encourage her to visit.

All of the scattered thoughts that plague her mind are too much of a distraction for her to notice the sound of the loud footsteps behind her and so she is surprised when a voice calls out to her.

She is even more surprised at who the voice belongs to.

She forces a smile and curses her luck. "Hi, Lindsay."

Lindsay looks genuinely happy to see her. "Hi, Brooke! Wow, it's great to have you back."

"Thanks. It's good to see you."

Lindsay nods, still cheerfully grinning. "You too. You still look stunning, of course."

Brooke's mentally telling herself to just keep smiling, even if it hurts—which at this point it does. Who knew a simple task could take so much out of her?

"Thanks," she says again.

"So, how are you doing?" Lindsay asks.

"I'm fine." Her phone rings again and this time she's thankful that her mother is so persistent; she's not at all in the mood for small talk with her ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend. She looks at her phone apologetically. "It's the office in New York. I should probably get it, but it was good seeing you."

"Yeah," Lindsay says. "Hopefully we can all hang out soon."

Brooke's smile is still going strong. "Yeah, definitely."

In a million years is more like it, but Brooke isn't going to say that. Lindsay's obviously making a genuine effort to be a friend for Brooke and she isn't going to be rude to her about it. They say their goodbyes and Brooke holds the phone up to her ear.

"Hello?"

Her mother's loud voice immediately fills her ear. Brooke ignores her and looks over her shoulder, making sure that Lindsay is gone before hanging up on her mother. She'll get a lot of heat from Victoria after this, but she just isn't in the mood to bicker with her mother right now. Instead, she turns the phone off. That'll piss Victoria off even more, but she's at the point where she doesn't really care.

As she nears the café, her thoughts stray back to Lucas and Lindsay. Their talk yesterday had drained her to say the least and now, running into Lindsay, things seemed even more overwhelming. It was hard enough to _hear_ Lucas talk about how perfect Lindsay was, but to actually _see_ it was another thing.

It is as if they are both trying to throw their perfect relationship in her face.

That's not true, of course, and she's sure that their relationship is no where near perfect, but what else is she supposed to think of them? Is she supposed to be happy for them? She should be, but she isn't, no matter how much she wishes she was. She can't possibly be happy for them, not when she is still completely and hopelessly in love with Lucas.

Because that is the main problem—she is still in love with him. Two and a half years later, after trying desperately to move on from him, she still loves him. And by now, she's realized that that her love for him will never go away.

It's entirely pointless to deny it.

**888**

_She just wants him to leave her alone. That is all she wants. And yet he won't stop calling and leaving long, sometimes rambling, messages professing his love for her. And he won't stop coming to her apartment everyday, leaving flowers and boxes of chocolates by her door and notes to go along with them._

_The part that annoys her the most, though, is that she can't stop listening to his heartfelt messages and reading his poetic notes. She hasn't thrown one flower away and she is sad to admit that she's eaten every chocolate given to her. And now she feels that, by taking all that he is giving her, she is also giving into him. _

_And it annoys her to no end._

_She doesn't understand why he's not back with Peyton yet and why he's not spending his time sending _Peyton_ flowers and chocolates. Why is he stuck on her when he can have Peyton? It doesn't make sense to her. But he will give up soon after he realizes that she will not be with him and then he will go back to Peyton. There's very little doubt in her mind about that._

_But then a small part of her wonders if maybe he won't go back. Maybe he really does want Brooke…maybe, just maybe, everyone has been wrong this past year— maybe Lucas and Peyton aren't meant to be together._

_A knock on her door interrupts her thoughts. She looks over to the clock. It's two o'clock in the afternoon, the same time Lucas has been showing up at her apartment everyday for the past nine days._

_She doesn't know what possesses her to do it, but she finds herself walking over to the door and opening it without a second thought. She's barely even dressed, with just a bathrobe clinging tightly to her body, but she doesn't care; she needs to do this._

_He looks completely shocked as he looks up at her from where he is kneeling on the ground, his hands wrapped around the flowers he has just placed by her door. _

"_Brooke." His mouth is twisting into a happy smile._

_She looks at him seriously. "Lucas, this has got to stop."_

_He frowns slightly as he stands up. "I told you I'm not leaving."_

"_Yeah, I know, and that's great and all, but what I don't think you understand is that I don't want you, Lucas. I don't want to be with you. And you're making this so much harder than it needs to be."_

_She's lying, of course. She wants to be with him more than anything. What she doesn't want, though, is to get hurt again, and unfortunately pain and heartache comes along with having a relationship with Lucas Scott. _

_Discouragement shines in his eyes at her words, but she can tell he is not completely convinced at her words. He always can see right through her lies. _

"_I hurt you, Brooke," he says simply. "And I know that's why you don't want to be with me. But I'm a different guy now, Brooke. I'm ready for you now— especially now that I know Peyton isn't the girl for me."_

"_Oh, so you only want me because you can't be with Peyton?" She can't hide the resentment that pours out of her mouth._

"_No, Brooke. I don't _want_ Peyton. To be honest, I could have her back in a second if I wanted to, but I want _you_, Brooke, and I don't know how I can make that more clear."_

_Brooke sighs in resignation. She feels bad for Lucas—he's gone through so much this last week to try to gain back her trust only for her to throw it out the window without a second glance. But she's not ready to be with him and that is one thing _she_ cannot make any clearer._

_Before she can say anything, though, he speaks. "I'm going to give you some space. I'm going to go back to Tree Hill and leave you alone for awhile. But don't think I'm giving up, because I'm not. I'll never give up on you."_

_She feels a wave of relief rush over her as he tells her this because, as much as she hates to admit it, she's glad that he's not giving up on her. But she's also happy that he's leaving. It will give her the time she needs to really try to figure out her life, without the constant worry of bumping into him again._

"_Okay," she says, nodding slowly._

_He backs up slightly. "I love you, Brooke."_

_She sighs sadly. "I know."_

_And then he turns and walks away. She stands at the door, her arms crossed over her chest, and watches him walk down the dark hall. He turns back once more to look at her, smiling widely when he sees that she's still there._

_And she can't help but smile too because, no matter what she says, she loves him too._

**888**

Somehow he knew he'd find her here, in his mother's old café. She's standing in the middle of the empty space, her back to the window. He could easily walk away without her ever knowing he was here, but he for some reason he feels the need to stay— to talk to her again.

His talk with Lindsay yesterday had helped him to realize that being civil isn't really enough for him and Brooke and he's hoping that maybe someday they can be friends again.

And so, before his courage fails him, he pushes open the familiar door and walks inside. She doesn't turn around. As he walks quietly over to her, she seems completely consumed by her thoughts. He just stands behind her for a moment, thinking about what he's even going to say to her, before hesitantly tapping her shoulder.

She jumps at the touch and he holds back a chuckle as she twists around to look at him.

"Lucas, you scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry," he says, wearing an amused smile.

The atmosphere seems completely different than it was yesterday. Everything seems friendlier and much less tense. This time his smile isn't forced and, while things are still slightly awkward, he also feels much more relaxed.

A small smile forms on her lips. "It's okay. So, what are you doing here?"

He walks across the room and leans against the window. "Haley told me you were thinking of buying the place."

She looks down at the floor uncomfortably and he can easily sense her anxiety. Haley had also told him about her hesitance about buying the place without his permission and that she thought he wouldn't want her to. He had to admit that it hurt him a little to think that he would ever go against something like this, but at the same time, she had a reason to feel that way; he hadn't always said the kindest things about her when she was gone and he knew that she knew that.

"Yeah, I was hoping to, but I wanted to know if you were okay with it first. I mean, this is your mom's place and it holds a lot of memories and I just don't want you feeling like I'm taking it from you…"

He can't help but smile at her rambling. Brooke Davis has always been a talker when she's nervous about something.

"Brooke," he says, "I think you buying this place is a great idea. It's been closed for almost two years now and it's about time someone put it to use."

"Really?" Her eyes light up in happiness and she claps her hands together in excitement. "Thanks, Luke. I promise that I'm going to make this place look amazing."

"Oh, I know you will," he says with a grin.

Suddenly she moves forward and her arms reach out to him. But then she stops, her arms falling as she looks away in embarrassment. She wanted to hug him, he can tell. Hugs are an everyday thing with Brooke and he is glad to know that hasn't changed, but he is also a little bit sad to know that Brooke obviously doesn't feel comfortable enough to actually give him one. Then again, she probably thought _he_ is the one who wouldn't be comfortable with it and she is probably right.

"Well, I gotta get to the school," he says after an awkward silence has set in.

She nods quickly, flashing him a smile. "Yeah, of course. I'll see you later then."

He smiles again as he turns to leave but, just as he's about to walk outside, she calls after him.

"I've missed you, Luke…I just wanted you to know that."

He turns around and for a moment their eyes lock. "Yeah…" His voice is a bit shaky as he loses himself in her eyes. He can see everything there— all of the memories they've shared and all of her hopes in fears. Her eyes are a window to her soul and he is the only one that she has ever allowed to look through it. And in that moment he knows that he has been kidding himself when he has said that he's completely moved on. Now more than ever he knows that a piece of him will always belong with her.

"Yeah," he says again, his eyes still locked with hers, "I've missed you too."

* * *

**A/N: **So, I just wanted to mention that I know that Lindsay may seem a little perfect right now, but I kind of like Lindsay, so I didn't really want to make her an antagonist or something like that. Remember, she knows Brooke and she knows what happened, so she's trying to be sympathetic to both Lucas and Brooke. I just wanted to point that out, because I know she may seem a little too supportive of a potential reunion between Brooke and Lucas, but I'm writing her that way for a reason-- I don't want her to seem like she's going to be a big roadblock between Brooke and Lucas, because she really isn't going to be. Also, just a little background info, Lucas and Lindsay haven't been dating as long as they did on the show. They've only been together for about six months in this story.

Thanks so much for reading and please review!


	6. Dry Eyes in the Pouring Rain

**Dry Eyes in the Pouring Rain**

Karen's Café is now officially hers and she's couldn't be more pleased that the renovation of the old building is now happening. The part that makes her most happy, though, is the distractions that the renovations bring. During the past four days she has been so caught up in the planning and blue prints that she's barely had anytime to think about Lucas. She spends most of her time at the café and the rest of her time at home, working on her designs, calling her work in New York, eating, and sleeping. She really is much too busy, but she is more than grateful for the distractions.

Now, on the night of the seventh day of construction and a week and a half after her return to Tree Hill, she is standing in the middle of the café. Except it really isn't a café anymore. All of the counters and tables have been removed and the back kitchen has been turned into the backroom of the store and her office— the first part of her store that is now completely finished and furnished. The actual café—which is set to be the main portion of the shop— is still a mess of construction equipment and wood chips, but she knows that it will soon be ready to be revealed as the newest location of Clothes Over Bros.

"Brooke, did you want me to put this on your desk?"

Brooke turns to look at Millicent, her assistant from New York who she had asked to come down to Tree Hill to help get the store on its feet. Millicent holds up a pile of Brooke's unfinished sketches.

"Actually, I'll just take them. I'm going home in a few minutes anyway and I should probably finish them tonight or Victoria will never stop bugging me."

Millicent wears a stern expression as she hands Brooke the sketches and Brooke arches an eyebrow.

"What?"

"I just think that you've been working non-stop lately. I've only been here a few days, but the whole time I've been here you've either been on the phone talking business, here talking business, or home talking business and working on your designs. I think it's time you take a break from everything, forget about the sketches for one night, and relax."

Brooke is grateful for Millicent's concerns, but she knows that right now she is thriving on keeping busy if only for the reason that it keeps her mind of _other_ things.

"I'm fine, Millie," Brooke says reassuringly.

Millicent doesn't look convinced. Over the past few years, Millicent has grown to be one of Brooke's closest friends. Actually, besides Rachel, Millicent is her closest friend in New York. Therefore it is easy for Millicent to tell when something is up with her or when she is lying.

"I just need this stuff right now to keep my mind off of everything else," Brooke admits.

Millicent nods, her smile gentle as she begins to understand why Brooke is throwing herself into her work. "How about you and I order some pizza, head back to your house, and watch chick-flick 80s movies and just forget about everything? Just for tonight."

A grins creeps up on her lips as Brooke decides that a girl night with Millicent is just what she needs.

"I guess Victoria can wait a little bit longer for the sketches," she concedes. "Let me just go get my purse and we can go."

She's about to walk past Millie when she notices her friend's expression change; the smile she had been wearing turns into a frown and her eyes widen.

"This place is a pig sty."

A new voice enters the conversation—an unfortunately familiar one. Brooke stops in her tracks.

"It really is much too small, Brooke. I don't know how you can expect to fit all of your clothes in here."

Very slowly, Brooke turns around, forcing herself to smile. "We won't be putting all of my clothes in here, _Mother_— just the newest lines. There's plenty of room."

Victoria's eyes dart across the space, inspecting it haughtily. Millicent looks at Brooke anxiously, but Brooke just stands there tensely, her lips now in a firm straight line. Her mother doesn't say anything else about the room; instead she walks over to Brooke and pulls the sketches out of her hands.

"Are these for the spring line?" she asks, flipping idly through the pages.

Brooke nods slowly, trying to control her temper. Victoria is controlling and often vindictive, but she has done a lot for the company and Brooke tries to respect her for that as much as she can. Most of the time, however, their meetings result in a yelling match, with her mother almost always coming out the winner.

Victoria hands her back the sketches. "They're horrible."

"They're not done," Brooke says through clenched teeth.

"I told you that they needed to be done by Tuesday morning. It's Monday night."

"You never gave me a deadline," Brooke scoffs.

"Well, I have now. I want them by tomorrow morning."

"With all due respect, Mother, you don't have the authority to give me a deadline. I'm _your _boss, remember?"

Victoria's eyes narrow and she takes a step closer to Brooke. "I might as well be your boss. Without me, you'd be nowhere." Brooke is about to respond, but her mother continues speaking. "I didn't come here to get into another pointless argument, Brooke. The sketches need to be done by Friday or we won't be able to send them off in time."

Her mother's right and she know it; it's just not fun to admit defeat to Victoria.

"Fine."

A tense silence fills the room and Victoria looks around again, crossing her arms. "I can't believe you seriously expect this place to be ready to open by Friday night."

"It will be," Brooke says confidently, a small smile covering her face as she thinks about the fact that this place will be up and running in less than four days. It's enough of an excitement boost to make her temporarily forget that her mother is standing right in front of her. "Trust me."

**888**

Lucas holds back a groan as he stands on the sidelines watching the Ravens struggle through the simple scrimmage he and Skills had set up. Things aren't looking good for them, with only one week left until their first game. A few players seem promising, but the rest either aren't putting their effort into the game or are simply mediocre players.

He and Skills share an exasperated glance before he pulls out his whistle and blows.

"Alright, guys," Skills says, "go get some water and be back in two minutes."

Lucas falls onto the benches, running a hand through his hair as he tries to think of some way to revive his team.

"Wow, they suck."

His head perks up as a he hears the sound of his brother's voice echo throughout the gym. Skills lets out a laugh and Lucas stands up to greet his brother, who is slowly making his way through the gym on his crutches.

"Tell me something I _don't_ already know," Skills says with a tired smile.

"When did you cut your hair?" Lucas asks curiously.

"The same day I got on these crutches—yesterday. You know it's funny that the first thing you noticed is that my hair is shorter rather than the fact that I'm not in a wheelchair."

Lucas grins, ignoring the comment, and pats Nathan on the shoulder. "It's good to have you here, Nate. You finally decide to take up my offer?"

Nathan looks over at the boys huddled by the water fountain with a frown. "I don't know, man. The team looks pretty bleak."

"With you coaching, they'll be great," Lucas responds.

Nathan's eyes continue to focus on the players and then he smiles. "Maybe I can help out a little bit."

**888**

The team still sucks, he can't deny that, but with Nathan now coaching there is a new hope for them all and that is why Lucas finds himself smiling as he steps out of his car and out in front of the newest Clothes Over Bros location. The sign is up and in a few days Brooke's store will be opened. It looks nothing like Karen's Café. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he would have never guessed that it was even the same building. But it does look great and he's proud of what Brooke has accomplished in such a short amount of time.

He hasn't spoken with Brooke since their conversation in this place a little over a week ago and he feels slightly bad about it, much to his confusion. They aren't exactly at the friendship point yet, but he feels like he should be making more of an effort to see her and that is why he had decided to visit her today.

As he steps into the store, his ears are greeted by the loud sound of drilling and yelling. Workers crowd the room, doing their best to ensure that the store is ready in time for Friday night. He searches through the chaos for Brooke but finds her nowhere. Walking through the room, he nods at the workers in acknowledgment, quickly mentioning to the contractor that he is a friend of Brooke's, before heading into the backroom, where he supposes Brooke is probably working on her designs.

"What are you doing here?"

He instinctively winces at the sound of sharp voice and finds himself face to face with Victoria Davis. He shrinks back; he definitely hadn't expected to find her here.

"Mrs. Davis." He looks around nervously. Brooke's mother always had a way of making him feel like the tiniest person in the world and he is sure that today will be no exception. "I was actually looking for Brooke."

Victoria glares at him. "She's not here."

"Oh. Okay, then. I'll just go."

He quickly turns around, eager to escape Victoria's menacing stare, but her hand reaches for his wrist and he twists around again.

"Stay away from my daughter, Lucas," she says. Her dark eyes are probing his and it takes all his might not to look away.

"Excuse me?" he manages to stutter out.

"You've ruined her life, do you know that? Ever since the _incident_ she hasn't been the same. She was a complete wreck, sobbing in her office almost every day for the past two years, but a few months ago it seemed she was finally moving forward like she should be. But apparently I was wrong and now she's back here again, throwing her career away in New York for this detestable ghost town. I held my tongue the first time she moved back even though I knew she was making the biggest mistake of her life, but it all worked out in the end. All I can say now is that if she isn't back in New York by summer, I will personally hold you accountable."

His eyes narrow in confusion as he tries to comprehend Victoria's words. "What?"

"You heard me," she says. "She's here because of you— to mend the poor excuse of a relationship you once had. She's giving up _everything_ for you, just like last time. Once again, you are ruining her life."

He doesn't even know what to say to that. In a way, he knows it's true— that he's the reason Brooke came home — but to hear her mother say that he has ruined her life…it's a lot to take in. Because he knows that in a way he has ruined her life. It is because of him that Brooke suffered throughout the last few years. If he hadn't slept with her in New York, this would never have happened.

But at the same time he can't regret his decision to be with her that night. He can't regret it because it made him realize just how much he loved her, how much he _still _loves her. And even though the pain caused by that night is still heavy on his heart, he wouldn't go back and change it. He would take away the pain in a second, yes, but he wouldn't take that night away.

His eyes water as he remembers all of the pain that he and Brooke had been put through. It had been beyond heartbreaking and he felt as if his own life had been snagged from him when Brooke left. He takes a deep breath, trying to ease away the onslaught of memories that tear through his mind. He can't think about it right now, not with her mother standing here.

Victoria's still glaring at him, a look of deep hatred etched upon her face. He stands there for a moment, head hung in guilt, before slowly turning away. This time she doesn't reach for him.

As he walks through the store the sounds of the machinery are drowned out. The only thing he can hear are the memories that still radiate his mind and the guilt that is slowly eating away at his conscience.

**888**

_He has been back in Tree Hill for over a month now and he hasn't once spoken to Brooke. He's made sure to call and leave messages, reassuring her that he wasn't going anywhere, but besides that, there had been no contact between the two. _

_And it is slowly but surely killing him._

_He can't focus on anything. Not writing, not his sister or mother, not basketball…he has no inspiration to do anything but brood and think about Brooke. He misses her more than he has ever missed anyone in his life. Until now, he has never truly realized just how dependant he is on her and how much her presence affects him. How did he go almost a year living so far from her? The thought is mind boggling now._

_Everyone close to him notice his behavior— even Nathan and Haley, who live two hours away, can tell that something is up. They think it's his breakup with Peyton, but he assures them that it's not. His mother keeps asking him about it, but he's not saying anything yet; he doesn't think Brooke would want him to and he's not sure he's ready for everyone to criticize him for sleeping with Brooke a day after he broke up with the girl he had just proposed to. It wouldn't make sense to them and that's why he hesitates to say anything._

_He picks up the phone. He hasn't called Brooke for two days, deciding to give her a little more space than normal, and he is eager to call her now, even though she won't answer. The phone rings and rings and, as expected, goes to her voicemail. He savors the sound of her voice; it's all he's heard of her since he left her in New York. Then the beep comes and he speaks._

"_Hey, it's me. I just wanted to check in on you…you know, see how you were doing…I miss you. So much. I never really realized how much I needed you in my life until now. I can't get you out of my mind…I can't stop replaying what happened that night in my head. It was amazing and I really don't think you can deny that…" He laughs a little to himself. "Anyway, I guess I just want you to know that I love you and I'm here when you're ready to talk. Day or night, whenever you need me, I'll be here. I love you, Brooke."_

_He hung up the phone, setting it down on the coffee table, and let his head fall into his hands. He wants nothing more than to book the first flight he can to New York and see her, but he knows that he can't. She needs to be ready for him and it is clear that right now she is not. He will not pressure her to do anything she isn't ready to do. He'll wait as long as she needs._

"_So you really _aren't_ pining for Peyton, are you?"_

_Lucas's head whips up in surprise as his mother takes a seat next to him on his bed._

"_You heard that?" He can't help the angry tone in his voice._

"_I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I just had some of your laundry and you were talking and I just heard. Maybe if you did your own laundry…" She chuckles softly and places a hand on his knee. He remains stoically silent. "What happened with Brooke?" she asks quietly._

_He has very little desire to go into the details, but he feels he owes her an explanation for his behavior. "When I was in New York meeting with my editor, Brooke and I met up. We hung out, caught up, talked about just about everything, got a little drunk…You know how it is when you're with Brooke…And then we got back to my hotel room and one thing led to another and…"_

"_Yeah, I get the picture," Karen says, trying to hide the grimace on her face._

"_I know that it happened so shortly after I broke up with Peyton, but being with Brooke just felt so right. I'm still in love with her, every bit as much as I was in high school, if not more. Peyton was great, but I settled for her when I knew Brooke didn't want me."_

"_What does Brooke think about this?"_

_He sighs. "She's not ready for any sort of relationship with me, which I completely understand. I call her all the time, but we've only talked once since that night, not counting the morning after."_

_Karen is looking at him sympathetically. "I don't really know what to tell you other than just wait it out, which is obviously what you're doing now. If you and Brooke are meant to be, then everything will work out in the end. Just whatever you do, don't pressure her."_

"_I won't and I'm not…I don't want to hurt her again, Mom. I really don't."_

_She wraps an arm around him and he leans his head on her shoulder. "I know, Luke."_

**888**

The sun is setting and the winter wind blows icily against his face, but still he sits on the cold, hard ground, staring at the gray stone. His hand rests on it, his fingers tracing the familiar letters.

"I know it's been awhile since I've come here," he says. He has long since gotten over the absurdness of talking to gravestones. "And I'm sorry. It's been a busy time for me...but I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I never stop thinking about you really, especially since she's back."

He stops tracing, letting his palm fall on over a portion of the name. Keith. A single tear falls down his cheek.

"She's home," he says and the tear is joined by many others. He's crying for the first time in almost two years and for some reason it feels good. "And I missed her more than I knew was possible…I still love her so much…" The tears blur his eyes as he continues staring at the stone. "She'll come to see you soon. She wants to more than anything, I know that. She loves you. We both do. I…I'll bring your mom here to see you soon, I promise."

His fingers brush the name one last time before he stands to leave. Garrett Keith Scott.

Their son.

* * *

**A/N: **So are you surprised? Yes, no, maybe so? :) It's sad, I know, and obviously still a little confusing, but you'll learn more as time goes on. But I think now you can understand a little why Brooke left…

Also, in the flashback it's obvious that Lucas was living in Tree Hill. I know in the show he, Nathan, and Haley went to Maryland State or wherever, but in this story he stayed in Tree Hill, going to a small local college so that he could help his mom out with Lily, and Nathan and Haley went to UNC.

I'm sorry that this chapter took a little longer than usual to get up. School's started back up and I've been busy with that. And I'd be lying if I said that the actual show hasn't been screwing up with my inspiration, too. I've actually decided to just stop watching. What's the point in watching a show you don't enjoy anymore? I hate Leyton and I don't like Brulian at all (sorry to all those who do, I'm just not feeling it and I don't think I ever will), Haley, one of my favorite characters, is virtually non-existent, and overall, the writing is horrible. So, giving up the show will be a load off my shoulders and I don't think I'll regret it at all. Anyway, sorry for the mini-rant! I just thought I'd let you all know where I stand as far as the show goes.

Thanks so much for reading and please remember to review!


	7. Two Scared

**Two Scared**

_This can't be happening. It just can't be. Not now, not when he both proposed to and broke up with her best friend only a month and a half ago. It just isn't right._

_She can't possibly be pregnant._

_But as she looks down at the fourth positive test she's taken she can't deny what she had been trying to deny the last few weeks— she's having a baby. And not just any baby, but Lucas Scott's baby. _

_She wants to scream or throw something. Does the world hate her?_

_It's bad enough that she slept with him the day after he and Peyton broke up, but for this to happen… It's just wrong. And now, to top it all off, she _has_ to see Lucas. She can't avoid him any longer. He needs to know that he is going to be a father. _

_She knows that she has options, but when discovered two weeks ago that she was late, she had thought them over and came to the conclusion that if she was indeed pregnant she didn't want to look into adoption or an abortion. She knew that she wouldn't be able to bear giving her baby up and, even though it seemed silly, part of her already loved this child. As for an abortion, this child hadn't asked for any of this and she didn't have the heart to punish it for her mistake with Lucas._

_Mistake._

_Is that what it had been? _

_She had been starting to think that maybe it hadn't been. Lucas has been making it increasingly clear throughout the past month that he is not leaving, that he loves her, and that he's never going to let her go again. But now that a baby is involved, she doesn't know what to think anymore. Everything is just so confusing._

_Her hand falls to her stomach and, as a tear falls down her cheek, she is finally starting to grasp the reality of it all. She is going to be a mother, whether she likes it or not, and Lucas is going to be a father. They hadn't intended on this to happen, but it is how things are going to be. They can't change it and part of her wonders if she would if she could._

_She loves Lucas and, even though she hates herself a little for it, she wants to be with him. Maybe this baby is what they needed to push them back in the right direction. Maybe this baby can help Lucas further prove that she really _can_ trust him again…_

_Yes, maybe this baby isn't such a bad thing after all._

_But still, she is scared—scared of what this new future will bring and how it will affect her relationship with not only Lucas, but Peyton and the rest of their friends. What will they think of her when they learn that Lucas knocked her up the day after he proposed to Peyton?_

_She doesn't even want to think about it._

_The phone rings but she doesn't pick it up. She just can't talk to anyone right now. Taking a deep, calming breath, she moves from the bathroom and into her bedroom and falls onto her bed. Her hand still rests on her stomach. The message machine from her living room beeps and soon a soft voice echoes into her room, just loud enough for her to hear._

"_Hey, it's me. I just wanted to check in on you…you know, see how you were doing…I miss you. So much. I never really realized how much I needed you in my life until now… I can't get you out of my mind…I can't stop replaying what happened that night in my head. It was amazing and I really don't think you can deny that…Anyway, I guess I just want you to know that I love you and I'm here when you're ready to talk. Day or night, whenever you need me, I'll be here. I love you, Brooke."_

_And then the tears are falling and they won't stop. Why does he affect her like this? His rambling message is all she needs to hear to know that she needs to see him right away. She can't let him sit in the dark any longer. And more than that, it assures her even more that he is not going anywhere. For some reason, he wants her, not Peyton, and maybe it is time she accepts that._

_She isn't sure she's ready to be with him again, but this baby has makes her start to think that it might be worth it to try again, if only for the sake of their baby. It still scares her to think about being with him, not only because she is afraid of getting hurt again, but because, only a little less than two months ago, she would have never thought that a reunion between herself and Lucas was even possible. It is almost too good to be true._

_But she needs to explore the possibilities of a relationship with Lucas. First, though, she must actually see him. And so, with a small burst of courage, she lifts herself up off the bed and into her office, and, before she knows it, she has booked herself a flight to Tree Hill._

**888**

She remembers that day as if it was yesterday— the day she learned she was going to be a mother. It had changed her life. At first, she had thought that it had changed her life for the worst, then she quickly thought it had been for the better. But now…now she has no idea what to think.

She doesn't know why she is thinking about that day now as she stands in the middle of the completely finished Clothes Over Bros store. All she knows is that she doesn't like thinking about it because, even though many of the memories she and Lucas had shared after that moment had been great, the end result had been the most painful time in her life. And, as tears spring to her eyes, she knows that she still is too much of a coward to even try to think about it for more than a few minutes.

"This place looks amazing!"

Brooke turns in surprise to look at Peyton, who is walking over to meet her, and immedietly puts her emotions in check; she isn't ready to deal with Peyton's questions right now.

Her eyes travel around the store. Tonight is the opening party and she can't wait to finally reveal it to all of her friends. The only sore spot of the evening is the fact that Victoria will be there, no doubt going on and on about how this store will never possibly make it. But it will be worth it because all that matters is that she has finally set up a store in the place where C/B started. It's perfect.

"Thanks, but I thought I told you to wait for tonight so that whole place could be a surprise."

"Yeah, you did," Peyton says with a smile, "but I figured since I'm your best friend I could get special treatment."

Brooke smirks. "Hmm, sure. I guess it's okay, though. This place is going to look even more glamorous tonight, so you'll still be a little surprised. Although, I was actually hoping Lucas could be the first to see it, since it was his mom's place and all."

"He hasn't been able to stop by?"

She shakes her head. "He's been busy."

Actually, she is starting to think he is avoiding her, which isn't a comforting thought since she had been thinking that they had been starting to make some good progress as friends. But she doesn't want Peyton to know that.

Peyton seems distracted as she looks at Brooke with narrowed eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Of course," Brooke says reassuringly. She knows that Peyton can see right through her, especially now when, before Peyton stepped into the room, she had been in such a vulnerable state.

"Are you sure? You seemed kind of distracted when I came in here."

"I'm fine, Peyton," Brooke says, this time more firmly. "Really."

Peyton nods slowly and puts a hand on Brooke's arm. "Okay. But if you ever need to talk about…well, if you need to talk, I'm here."

That's what everyone says and Brooke's thankful for it, but it never really makes her feel better nor does she ever take anyone up on their offer. She should, but she doesn't.

"I know. Thanks, Peyton."

**888**

When Lucas walks into his home, Lindsay immediately bombards him at the door, a look of irritation on her face.

"Lucas, where have you been? I've been trying to reach you on your phone, but you haven't answered."

"What's going on?" he asks as he falls onto the couch. He has had another long day. Practice had been exhausting for both the coaches and the players and now all he wants to do is relax.

"Brooke's opening for Clothes Over Bros is in less than a half hour!"

"Oh…"

He had forgotten about that. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't have much of a desire to go. He wants to be there for Brooke, he really does, but he knows that Victoria will be there and, ever since his talk with her the other day, he's been hesitant to see Brooke. It isn't that he is actually going to stay away from Brooke like Victoria had asked him to, but it is more of the fact of what Victoria had said about him ruining Brooke's life.

It seems to him that that's all he ever does to Brooke— cause her pain. And sometimes he wonders if she would be better off without him. In fact, that is the one thing that encouraged him after Brooke left—that maybe she would be happier without him in her life. Apparently, though, she hadn't been, and that shook Lucas up more than he thought it could. Brooke had been a wreck for the last two and a half years, just like him, and he feels responsible for it. So really, he is avoiding her out of guilt, which only makes him even more of a coward.

He knows that Brooke doesn't blame him for anything. In fact, she probably blames herself, ridiculous as that is. But his talk with Victoria had reminded him of a time when he promised Brooke that he would never let her go again. And yet he had. Once again, he let her go and he didn't chase after her and now more than ever he regrets that decision. Because if he had chased after her, then they could have faced their pain and loss together, instead of facing it by themselves and dying a little each day because of that.

Lindsay lets out a frustrated groan, interrupting his thoughts. "I told you this morning that you need to try to be home by six so you have time to get ready. I swear you have the memory of a gold fish."

"I'll just be fifteen minutes," he mumbles as he stands up and heads to his bedroom to get ready.

He isn't looking forward to tonight, but he knows that he needs to be there for Brooke. There's one more reason he's been avoiding her, though, and that is that he still loves her. There's no use in denying that fact anymore.

And he's scared of that because he's spent these past two years trying to erase his feelings and trying to move on. It had been hard, but when he started dating Lindsay six months ago, he thought he had accomplished his goal. But now Brooke is back and he is back to square one.

Lindsay is an amazing girl and he loves her, but he doesn't love her like he loves Brooke and that is a problem because he very much wants to be with Lindsay. With Lindsay, things are not complicated. Their history is not full of love triangles and pain and that in itself is breath of fresh air for him. It's just easy with them and he doesn't want that to change.

That's why he knows that he and Brooke can't be together again—because not only does he not want to hurt Brooke again, he doesn't want to hurt himself or Lindsay. They've already experienced enough pain to last a lifetime and being with Brooke again would most likely bring more pain.

At the same time there is a part of him that knows that there doesn't have to be pain with him and Brooke. They can be together and just be happy—most of their time together senior year and the months while Brooke was pregnant with Garrett proved that. The problem with him and Brooke was that something always came in the way, whether it be Peyton or the terrible loss of their son. But maybe if he and Brooke took another chance, things would turn out differently. Maybe they would get a chance to finally be happy…

He quickly shakes the thought out of his head. He can't be thinking about being with Brooke again, not when he is with Lindsay. Lindsay means the world to him and he truly does love her.

He just hopes that someday soon his love for Brooke will fade and he will love Lindsay the way she deserves to be loved. Otherwise, he doesn't know what he will do…

**888**

So far the night is a success and Brooke is happy with the response she is getting from everyone. Many of her employees from the New York office are here, as well as other well-known designers and clients and they are all praising her for her most recent success here in Tree Hill.

Her friends are completely surprised at how different the store is from Karen's Café, but they all like it. The only person she hasn't seen is Lucas. She hasn't been able to spot him anywhere the whole night and she isn't even sure if he is coming. Lindsay is no where in sight either and she hopes that they're just running late. She wants Lucas' approval more than anyone's.

She makes her way over to Peyton, Jake, Haley, Nathan, Skills, Mouth and Millicent who are all huddled at the bar. Mouth and Millicent are talking animatedly about something and Brooke smiles as she notices how comfortable the two of them are together. She mentally reminds herself to set them up sometime time in the future. Jake, Nathan, and Skills are talking basketball, while Haley and Peyton send her encouraging smiles.

"Have you seen Lucas at all?" she asks as she reaches them.

"No," Haley says, "but Lindsay called and said they're running a little late. They should be here soon."

She dreads to think about the reason _why_ Lucas and Lindsay are running late. Back when she and Lucas were dating, them turning up late was normally caused by one thing and the thought of Lucas and Lindsay doing _that_ makes her sick to her stomach.

"Bitchtoria at one o'clock," Peyton mutters and Haley lets out a snort. Brooke's mother is walking through the crowd towards them with a sneer on her face.

"Hello, Peyton," Victoria says with incredibly forced modesty. She looks quickly at Haley. "And you're Bailey, right?"

"Haley, actually," Haley quietly corrects.

Victoria ignores her. "I have to say that the response here is better than I expected. But then again, everyone is always excited about the prospect of a new business venture. In the end, though, they almost always fail."

Brooke wants more than anything to glare at her mother and tell her off, but she is surrounded by important business acquaintances and for the sake of her business keeps her mouth shut.

"I'm confident that this store will be successful," Brooke says.

"Hmm, of course you are."

Victoria glances around the room airily, her eyes narrowing as she focuses on something. Brooke's eyes follows her and smiles when she sees that Lucas is finally here. Her smile turns into a frown as she sees Lindsay by his side, her hand in his, and she suppresses the jealousy that now fills her body. She hasn't actually seen the two of them together as a couple yet and it is not a fun sight.

Across the room, he catches her gaze and smiles. Her smile immediately returns, all thoughts of Lindsay temporarily gone as she thinks only of how handsome he looks tonight.

**888**

The atmosphere in the room reminds him of the party that was thrown for him by the book company that night in New York, when he first learned his book was being published. That in turn simply reminds him of the portion of that night that he spent with Brooke, leaving a small smile on his face. The pain brought on later as a consequence of that night didn't even matter; it is still one of his favorite memories.

Beside him, Lindsay and Haley are talking quietly, while Nathan and Skills tell Jake about the Raven's most recent nightmare practice. Lucas is trying to listen, but he is distracted by Brooke, who is standing a few feet away from him, talking to a fancily dressed women who he guesses is some sort of fashion designer as well.

She looks so happy tonight and he's knows it's because C/B is one of the things that Brooke takes most pride in. He hasn't seen her smile the way she's been smiling tonight for so long and it makes him happy to know that _she's_ happy. That is enough for him.

Brooke is soon out of his sight as she disappears through the crowd and so he wanders off towards the end of the bar and orders a drink.

"Having fun?" Peyton asks as she takes a seat next to him.

He smiles lightly, taking a sip of the drink the bartender has just put in front of him.

"I guess so. Brooke's really done a great job with this place."

"I know. It's practically unrecognizable."

He nods slowly, looking for Brooke again, but he can't find her. When he turns to look back at Peyton, she is smiling at him knowingly.

"You're looking for Brooke, aren't you?" she asks.

He takes another sip of his drink and looks down at the counter, not feeling like answering.

"So how are things with you two, anyway?" Peyton continues. "Last I heard, you haven't talked too much since you first saw her."

"I've been busy."

"That's what Brooke said."

He take a deep breath; he's not in the mood to discuss Brooke with Peyton, especially with Lindsay nearby, and so he decides to change the subject.

"How's the wedding planning going?"

Peyton sends him a look. "If you don't want to talk about Brooke, you can just tell me. I won't bother you about it anymore."

He grins. "Thanks."

"And the wedding planning is going great," Peyton says with a smile. "Thanks for asking."

He's about to respond when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

"I thought I told you to stay away from my daughter," an icy voice says.

He turns around to look at Victoria, who is glaring at both him and Peyton. She is the last person he wants to deal with tonight, but he has to let her know that he is not going to follow her orders. He may be scared of all that he is feeling for Brooke, but he will not stay away from her.

"I was invited tonight personally by Brooke," he says, his eyes narrowing. "And for the record, I'm not going to stay away from her."

Victoria sneers at him over her drink. "Why don't you try to be selfless for once and leave her be. Her life would be so much simpler if you never came along and I'm sure she agrees with me."

"Brooke started Clothes Over Bros because of Lucas," Peyton says and Lucas sends her a grateful smile. "So, really, if Lucas hadn't come into her life then Clothes Over Bros wouldn't be here, would it? And you would be without a job."

"I don't recall asking for your opinion, Peyton," Victoria says as she looks Peyton over with raised eyebrows. She turns back to glower at Lucas. "If you cared anything about Brooke, you would leave her alone."

Without another word, she turns to leave. Lucas watches her go, reminded of all that he had been worrying about earlier. He downs the rest of his drink, grimacing as the burning alcohol runs down his throat. Victoria's put him in the mood to get nice and drunk.

"Don't listen to her, Luke," Peyton says as he orders another drink.

"She's right, though."

"No, she's not, and you know it. Brooke would never change having you in her life and she definitely doesn't want you out of it. That's why she came back, anyway—so that you could be in her life again, whether it's as a friend or more. She needs you, Lucas. That hasn't changed at all these last few years, believe me."

Brooke has appeared once again and he stares at her for a moment before turning back to Peyton.

"All I ever do is bring pain into her life."

"That's not true. You two were so happy together during senior year before I screwed that up. And then when you got back together three years ago, you were even happier. You both bring out the best of each other and I've never seen her happier than she was with you. And yeah, people get hurt, but it happens. Pain is a part of life. But don't think for a second that Brooke blames you for all that pain because I know for a fact that she doesn't. She doesn't blame you one bit, so stop feeling guilty about it. Besides, you should know better than to actually believe Victoria. She only cares about the business, not Brooke."

He knows that she is right, mostly at least. Blaming himself now will only make matters worse and he knows by now that life with Brooke is so much better than life without her. They both need each other in their lives and he won't cause her more pain by removing himself from her life.

"Thanks, Peyton," he says gratefully.

She grins. "No problem."

Peyton is soon whisked away by Jake and Lucas finds himself alone again. He feels a bit better now after hearing Peyton and it puts him in a much better mood. He watches Brooke again and he wants very much to take her aside and just talk, but he knows that she's busy.

He moves back towards Lindsay and Haley, who are still deep in conversation, before slipping past them and into the backroom, eager to get away from the crowd for a moment. He turns the light on and looks around the crowded space. Tons of clothes scatter the small room, but a couch sits in the corner. He sits down, reveling in the quiet, and closes his eyes.

"Bored?"

His eyes spring back open at the sound of the raspy voice. Brooke is standing at the doorway, an amused smile on her lips as she stares at him.

"A little," he answers honestly. She quietly closes the door and walks over to the couch, sitting next to him.

"These types of parties aren't your thing," she states.

She knows him too well. "Nah, but the bar was a nice touch. It kept me from having to suffer through one of Lindsay and Haley's boring intellectual conversations."

She grins. "It'll be gone by tomorrow morning. This couch is actually going in its place."

He takes a sip of the drink that is still in his hand. "Hmm, too bad."

"So," she says, "I saw Victoria talking to you earlier. Was she giving you a hard time?"

He chuckles softly. "Your mom still hates me. I don't think that will ever change."

"Well, if it's any consolation, my mom hates just about everyone so you're not alone."

They both share a laugh before a comfortable silence takes over. He is glad that they can be so at ease with each other. When she first returned, he hadn't been sure they would ever be able to return to a normal friendship, but luckily it seems more possible each time they are together.

But there is still an elephant in the room and even though he doesn't like to talk about it and he knows that she definitely doesn't, they need to. They can't move forward in their friendship unless they do. And so he takes a deep breath and breaks the silence.

"Do you think about him a lot?"

Her head turns to look at him, her expression solemn. She knows exactly who he's talking about. "Everyday. It's impossible not to."

"I know…" It's so strange enough to be talking about this out loud with her, but it feels right. "Have you thought about going to see him?" he asks hesitantly.

Her eyes narrow and she looks away. She takes a long, steadying breath and he can see a tear fall down her cheek. She stands up.

"I can't."

And then she is walking away, back out towards the party, and he jumps up to follow her. She can't run away from this; they _need _to talk. He reaches for her wrist before she can open the door.

She doesn't meet his gaze; her eyes are looking down at the floor, tears falling freely. His hand tilts her chin up so that she is looking at him and then he wipes away the tears with his hand. He looks at her softly while she struggles to hold back a sob.

"Why?" he asks, his hands now gently cupping her face.

She doesn't say anything for a moment. "I'm scared."

And then he pulls her into his arms and she's sobbing into his chest. His hands run through her hair and all he can do is whisper any words of comfort he can find. It's hard when he needs the comfort too, but it's good that they are doing this; this talk is long overdue. And it feels so good to have her in his arms again. Words can't even describe how right it feels.

It's a few minutes before she calms down. She removes her head from his chest and looks up at him with watery eyes. He smiles softly at her, removing a stray hair from her face, and places a soft kiss on her forehead.

"It's going to be okay, Pretty Girl."

She tenses at his words and he realizes the slip of his tongue. Slowly, she detangles herself from his arms.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles, moving away from him and into her office. He follows her and watches as she fumbles around the drawers in her desk looking for something.

"You don't need to be sorry. This is good, Brooke. We need to talk about this."

She pulls out a compact mirror, looking herself over and freshening up her makeup. A few minutes of silence later she snaps the compact shut and brushes past him. "I can't do this right now, Lucas. Not now. Not with everyone outside."

"I know." He follows her back to the door. His hand reaches for hers and their fingers automatically intertwine. "But we _do_ need to talk about it soon."

"Don't you think I know that?" she snaps and he is surprised at her animosity. "I have to go, Lucas." Her voice is now soft and defeated. "I'm sorry."

He lets go of her hand and she quickly makes her way back into the party. Now as he watches her, her smile is wary and forced. She is not happy anymore and he thinks that maybe he should have waited for a better time to talk about their son. She was genuinely happy earlier and he took that away. But they had to talk about it eventually and it is best that they started sooner rather than later.

And so he doesn't regret it because he knows that it will only get better from here. At least he hopes so…

* * *

**A/N: **Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, especially the little Brucas at the end. I feel like it might be a little choppy in some parts and I don't think it's my best writing, especially since I didn't have a lot of time to go over it, but I wanted to get it up before I had to go out. Please be sure to leave a review and thanks for reading!

I've got a couple of responses to some anonymous reviews:

**austingirl76**: I didn't really make it too clear that Lindsay and Brooke already knew each other, so I understand your confusion! Lindsay was Lucas' editor during the time Brooke was pregnant with their son and so she and Brooke met quite a few times because of that. Thanks for asking!

**Lena: **I know that I shouldn't pick favorites, but I'm going to have to say that you are my absolute favorite reviewer! Seriously, you're reviews are just amazing (and super long, which I love :D). I'm really glad that you're enjoying this story so far. As for review, I can see why you don't like Lindsay! For some reason I have more tolerance for Lucas' girlfriends than I do for Brooke's boyfriends, so I actually liked Lindsay on the show, just not the fact that she was with Lucas. If it makes you feel any better, Lindsay and Lucas won't be together too much longer…And things will definitely be getting brighter for BL soon, but they've still got a ton to work through, as glimpsed in this chapter. And as for the show, I completely agree. I was so upset after I watched it, probably more than I should have been, and I decided I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't really understand how Mark can expect most Brucas fans to faithfully watch the show when he doesn't even give us friendship scenes. It's like he doesn't want to give us any hope, which is just mean. Fan fiction is pretty much the only Brucas we're getting right now and that's one thing I'm definitely grateful for. I just wish the show could give us a little more, but since that doesn't seem possible, I'm happy to stop watching. Anyway, thanks so much for not only reviewing for this story, but for all of your reviews for _All for Love_. I appreciate each and every one so much and I'll be honest, reading your review is what inspired me to write this chapter so fast! So thanks!!!


	8. Hold Fast

**Hold Fast**

He's much more tired than he should be. It's probably because he spent a majority of the previous night thinking about his and Brooke's conversation at her store's opening. He wants to see her again and try to see if they can talk more about Garrett, but not even twenty-four hours has passed since their talk and he knows that it is too soon to bring it up again.

Thoughts of Brooke plagued his mind most of the day, so much so that he couldn't even concentrate at practice. Skills had even sent him home early because, in Nathan's words, "he sucked more than the actual team." He doesn't mind, though. He hasn't had much of a chance to relax these past few weeks and tonight that's all he wants to do.

When he returns home, Lindsay is not there and, as bad as it sounds, he is glad. Last night she had noticed his brooding behavior after the party and bugged him about it the rest of the night. He loves her, but sometimes Lindsay is way too focused on other people's business.

Settling himself on the couch, he flips the TV on and watches a college basketball game. He doesn't really watch it, though; his thoughts, once again, are consumed by Brooke. Every time he sees her, they make more and more progress and he is comfortable enough around her to call her a friend again. They haven't even seen each other very much since she has come home, but the few times they had spent together were big steps in the right direction and he is more than happy about it. But he knows that it will take time before Brooke can really let her guard down and talk about Garrett. She left Tree Hill before she even got the chance to mourn him and he knows that she still hasn't completely been able to move on from their son's death. He hasn't either and he probably never will, but they do need to move forward and he knows that it is only a matter of time before Brooke is ready to do so.

One question remains for him, however, and that is whether he and Brooke will face their problems as a couple or as friends. He knows deep in his heart that he wants to be with her again, but he's not sure either of them are ready to open their hearts to each other yet. And then there is Lindsay to consider. Lucas doesn't want to break her heart, but somehow he knows that a break up with her is inevitable.

"Why are you home so early?" Lindsay's voice breaks through his thoughts and he turns from the TV to look at her.

"I left practice a little earlier than usual."

"Another bad one?" Lindsay asks, as she takes off her coat.

"They're getting better."

Lindsay takes a seat on the chair across from him. "How are you doing, Luke?"

He doesn't look at her. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"I just…You know…the whole thing with Brooke last night. You've just been really quiet ever since."

He lets out a frustrated sigh and sits up. "We went over this last night, she and I talked. That's all. She got a little emotional, but that's expected. Everything is fine with us, so don't worry."

"I'm not," Lindsay says, looking at him apologetically. "But you know you can talk to me if something's bothering you, right?"

"Nothing is bothering me," he says, falling back onto the couch.

"Lucas…"

"I don't want to talk about this, Lindsay," he says, his voice rising dangerously.

"Okay, we don't have to." She stands up, disappointment written all over her face, and turns to walk into the kitchen.

He knows he overreacted—Lindsay only wants to help— but he doesn't really want to tell Lindsay about his talk with Brooke. It had been a private moment where Brooke had allowed her vulnerable side to finally appear and, truthfully, it isn't any of Lindsay's business.

Still, he feels like he should apologize and let Lindsay know that he's thankful she cares, because he truly is. But something stops him and he's not sure what it is. Maybe it's his conscience telling him that's it's time he slowly starts distancing himself from Lindsay so that when their time together is over, it is easier for her. Or maybe he's just too tired to even try to get back into the conversation with her.

Either way, he focuses on the TV again, all the while thinking of Brooke…

**888**

"_I'm pregnant."_

_Those two words completely changed his life. One moment, she was on his doorstep and he was overjoyed with the happiness of finally seeing her again, and then a second later his world was completely turned upside down._

_Now, as he stands blankly in front of her a few seconds later, he has no clue how to respond. She is looking at him helplessly, her arms hanging limply by her side and her suitcase sitting at her feet. She's obviously planning on staying here for a little while. That thought makes him happy._

_And then it starts to set in._

_Brooke is pregnant. With _his_ child. _

_This is huge and it's unplanned and truth be told it's slightly inconvenient time-wise, but he doesn't care about that because above all, it is simply amazing. He thinks of their carriage ride on the night everything changed. Two boys and a girl. Who would have thought that they would have started toward that goal that very night? _

"_Lucas…"_

_Her voice brings him back to reality and he can't help the small grin that forms on his lip. "I…this is…amazing."_

_She looks surprised at this. "Lucas, this isn't amazing. This is just…bad."_

_No, he really doesn't think it is. On the contrary, he thinks it's wonderful. "Bad timing, maybe, but you don't really believe it's bad, do you?"_

_She just stands there looking conflicted and he takes a step closer to her. His hands move to her shoulders and then they're both looking right into each other's eyes. "I know that you're scared, Brooke, and so am I. This is a huge deal and we'd be crazy not to be a little scared. But we can do this. I'll be there for you, Brooke, I promise. We can make it through this together."_

_Her eyes are lit up with unshed tears and she looks away from him. "I don't want you to feel obligated to be with me because of this baby, Lucas."_

_He laughs at the absurdness of her words. "Are you crazy? Have you not gotten any of my messages these past six weeks? I want to be with you, Brooke—baby or no baby, that's not going to change. I'm in love you."_

_Her hand wipes away at the tears that are falling down her cheek. "I know you are."_

_His arms wrap around her waist and she rests her head against his chest. "Then what's stopping us, Brooke? We can be together now. We can be a family."_

_She looks up at him with a sad smile. "I'm not ready for you yet. I know that I should be, but I'm not. It's taken me so long to grasp that you actually want to be with me and not Peyton, but I just don't know if I can completely trust you yet. I talk to Peyton all the time, Lucas, and I know that she's not over you yet, and I don't want her to come back and have you change you mind about her for the billionth time and get my heart broken again. And it's not just me I have to worry about anymore—we've got a baby to think about now. Every decision we make affects our child too and I want to be sure that you and I are ready to be together again before we try anything."_

_He removes one hand from her waist and places it on the back of her head. "I understand completely. I'm going to prove to you that you can trust me, Brooke. I won't let you down. And I'll wait for you as long as you need me to. I'm not going anywhere."_

_Her eyes dig into his and he knows that it takes every bit of her strength to even remotely believe him, but somehow, she does. He embraces her again and they stand there for what feels like hours. _

_And then she slowly pulls away from him, her arms crossing over her chest, and looks at him uncertainly. "I think I want to move back here," she says quietly._

_He cocks an eyebrow. "Really?"_

_She nods. "I love New York, but Tree Hill has always been my home and I can't imagine raising a child anywhere else."_

"_What about your work? Brooke, I'll move up to New York in a second if that's what you want. I don't care where I am, as long as it's with you."_

_She smiles slightly, but nods. "I know you would, but I can do basically everything for my work from here, so work isn't an issue at all. Victoria won't be pleased, but she can't do anything about it. This is where I want to be, Luke. Here, in Tree Hill, with your mom and Lily, with Nathan and Haley and all of our other friends close by, and…with you."_

_His hand reaches out to touch her face and her head leans into his hand. "Are you sure?"_

_Her eyes close, but she smiles. "More than anything."_

**888**

She doesn't know exactly why, but she has to see him. If anything, it's to talk to him about the other night and the talk they had. She hadn't been open to talking to him about everything and it was because she wasn't ready. She still isn't ready. But she wants him to understand that she's trying. Most of all, though, she wants to thank him for still being there for her, even though it is clearly hard for him too. It means everything to know that he still cares.

The store has only been open a few hours when she leaves Millicent on her own to go search for Lucas. She knows that he has basketball practice in a few hours, but she isn't sure what he does until then. Thinking back to when they were together two and a half years ago, she knows that he always loved to write before heading to the middle school in the afternoon, where he helped coach basketball. But has his routine changed? She isn't sure.

And so she heads towards his home, a place she hasn't been to since she left. It's a big step for her and she's glad to have enough courage to actually go there again, especially if Lindsay is there. But it's something she has to do and she'll just have to risk bumping into Lucas' new girlfriend.

When she reaches his house, she is surprised to find that she is not the least bit nervous. In fact, only pure excitement seeps through her body. For the first time since she's returned, she feels the excitement that she used to always get when she was about to see him, instead of the anxious feeling in the pit of her stomach that she got when she returned.

She goes to his bedroom door and knocks. It's about a minute before there is any reaction and she is just about to leave when she hears footsteps making their way towards the door. A second later, it opens.

He's clearly surprised to see her, but nevertheless, a wide grin lights up his lips.

"Hi, Brooke."

"Hey," she says, smiling softly. Suddenly she feels those nerves again—but it's not the bad, uneasy type of nerves you get when you're in an awkward or uncomfortable situation, it's more of a first-date, want-to-make-a-good-first-impression type of nervousness.

Luckily for her, he doesn't seem to sense this. "So, what brings you by?" he asks sweetly.

"Oh," she says, putting her emotions back together quickly, "I actually just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes…Is Lindsay home?"

"No, she left early this morning for New York, actually. She'll be back in a couple of days."

"Good." Her eyes widen as she realizes what she's said. "I mean, it's not good. Well, maybe it is…I don't know…I just wanted to talk to you alone, that's all." He's laughing at her at this point and all she can do is glare playfully at him. "You know what I mean."

He grins. "Yeah, I do. So, do you want to come inside?"

She nods. "Sure."

He leads her into his bedroom and she's surprised at how much it's changed. It's so much more elegant and modern. It's barely recognizable compared to the disorderly, boyish room she used to sleep in. She can't deny that she likes it—it's definitely her type of style—but it's just weird to see a place she had grown to love changed so much.

"Wow. This place looks…different."

He nods as he glances around the room. "Lindsay decorated it a few months ago. She wasn't exactly fond of how it used to look…"

"Well, I like it. It's very…Lindsay-esque. "

He grins. "I'm going to have to agree with you there. Come on, let's go into the living room."

She follows him into the living room and sits down on the leather couch. The whole house seems to have been taken over by the same shades of paint and décor that are in his bedroom.

"Lindsay insisted on a little remodeling," he mentions, answering her unspoken thoughts as he sits next to her on the couch.

"I can tell. It's nice."

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Well…" She takes a deep breath and orders her thoughts. "I wanted to talk about the other night."

He sits up slightly, twisting his body so that he's looking right at her. "Okay."

She looks at him intently, trying to figure out where to begin. "I wanted to apologize for running away from the conversation."

"It wasn't the time or place to bring it up," he says, "so I'm sorry for that. I know it took you off guard."

"It's not that— it's just that I wasn't ready to talk about it," she explains. "To be honest, I'm _still_ not ready."

His hand reaches for hers. "I get it. There's no need for you to explain."

She shakes her head. "No, Lucas. I need to, because I can't keep running away from this anymore. It's not fair to anyone, but mostly it's not fair to you. We need to talk about this. We need to talk about _everything_."

He scoots closer to her and their knees are almost touching. "I agree, Brooke, believe me, I do. But I don't want you to have to force yourself into a conversation that you're not ready for. We shouldn't try to get the conversation over with when we're not ready, because if we do, we'll be completely drained and, in the end, it could only make things worse. We can take it little by little. There's no need to rush."

A huge wave of relief settles over her because, like she has already admitted, she isn't ready at all for this. She's just getting used to being back in Tree Hill and being around him again that moving forward so quickly would be too much for her.

"Thank you, Luke," she says, smiling softly at him. "For understanding, I mean. I know that I've been running for a long time, but it means a lot to know that you're still patient with me despite the fact that you've dealt with all this awhile ago, when I should have done it in the first place."

He sighs, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully. "Honestly…I still haven't completely dealt with it. Losing a child…I don't think you can ever get over that, Brooke. Sometimes, I'll go see him and just cry for hours. I'll cry for him, for me, for you…for everything we should have been. And I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's just the way it is. The pain…it gets easier, it numbs…but it never goes away completely."

He's right; it isn't what she wants to hear. But it's the truth and it's time she faces it. She takes a deep breath as she thinks about when they lost Garrett. Garrett. Just thinking about his name brings tears to her eyes. She tries to hide it by looking away from him and out the window, but he notices. His hand tilts her face to look back at him and he smiles.

"We can do this together," he says softly. "I promise."

She just nods, not knowing what else to say. He pulls her into a hug and his hands move up and down her back soothingly. Being in his arms again feels perfect, but she feels the need to say one more thing—something that she needs him to know.

"I'm sorry for leaving," she murmurs into his shirt.

He stiffens slightly, but a second later he is relaxed again. He presses a small kiss on the top of her head. "It's okay. You're already forgiven."

The way he says it, she knows that he is not lying. He really has forgiven her. He _always _forgives her. It's just a part of who he is. And she knows that someday soon she will explain _why_ she made the decision to leave and why it took her so long to come back, but it can wait. Right now, they will take it a step at a time, little by little. And she finds great comfort in that, when she is ready to fully face her past, he will be there facing it with her. They will do it together, just like he promised.

**888**

_She can't sleep. No matter how hard she tries, she just can't keep her mind from wandering off to thoughts of her baby and the business she left in New York. But mostly her thoughts belong to Lucas. As she lies in the soft bed that she once slept on for a few months of junior year and many more times with Lucas during their senior year, her hand reaches instinctively to the other half of the bed. She desperately wishes he were lying here beside her. _

_But when she had moved in with him, his mother, and Lily, he had insisted on taking the couch and letting her sleep on his bed, just like he had the final few weeks before junior year ended and she headed off to vacation in California with her parents. And, much like that time, she and Lucas are struggling with their feelings for each other. Except this time they really aren't struggling— or at least _he_ isn't. After all, his feelings for her are quite clear. She's the only one holding back them back from a relationship now and therefore she is struggling more than she wants to admit._

_Ever since she's moved here, she's been trying desperately to try to push back her feelings for him and concentrate solely on the baby. It's much harder than it sounds and, after two months of living together and being strictly friends, she's had enough. Not only because she's incredibly horny, but because she trusts him now— more so than she ever has before. He has proven over and over these past few months that he is the guy for her and she believes him. She truly does. _

_And now, lying in his bed alone, she knows that she is ready._

_She practically leaps out of the bed, padding through his dark room and into the living room, where his soft snores fill the silence. Kneeling on the floor next to the couch, she eagerly shakes his shoulder._

_His head perks up and he looks wildly around the room. "Brooke? Is something wrong? Is it the baby?"_

"_Calm down, Broody, we're both fine. I just need to talk to you."_

_He glances at the clock on the wall and smiles tiredly. "At three in the morning?"_

_She ignores the comment. "Will you come to bed with me?"_

_He gives her a look, but quickly nods. This isn't exactly new for them; every so often for the past two months, she has woken him up in the middle of the night and asked him to sleep with her. Nothing ever happens, but tonight will be different. She grins as they slide into the bed. Tonight he is in for a surprise._

_His arms snake around her waist and rest on her now slightly rounded belly. She had only started to show about two weeks ago and even then, it was only noticeable to her. But now, at four months, her tight white tank top clings to the bump and it is obvious to anyone who looks at her that she is pregnant. _

_She pushes his hands away and sits up, hearing him groan tiredly as she does. _

"_Lucas, we still need to talk."_

_His eyes are barely open as he squints up at her. "It's so late…" he mumbles, flipping over so that he is lying on his stomach and digging his head into the pillow. She rolls her eyes and slaps his butt; he really isn't a night person. He doesn't move, though, but she knows what she needs to do to get his attention. _

_Bending her head down and placing a hand on the curve of his back, her lips meet the back of his neck. Immediately, he stiffens. She places slow, deliberate kisses along his neckline and a second later he elicits a loud moan. She's about to begin nibbling on his ear—something she's learned he loves— before he flips over and looks right up at her. He doesn't look happy._

"_Brooke, you can't do this to me. It's not fair."_

_Her hand finds its way to his face, her fingers gently tracing his jaw line. "Lucas…I love you."_

_His eyes narrow and he sits up, looking at her seriously. Her eyes bear into his intently, but he doesn't look convinced. "Are you only telling me that because you're horny? Because you and I went over this a few weeks ago and I told you we shouldn't be with each other again until you're ready for a relationship. I haven't changed my mind since then."_

_Her hand caresses his cheek. "No, Lucas. Listen, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us and…you've been nothing but great to me ever since I got here…actually ever since that night in New York, if I'm honest. And, the truth is, I've known for awhile now that I can trust you. I just didn't know for sure if I was ready to be your girlfriend again, but now…I just know, Lucas. I want to be with you. I'm ready."_

_His eyes soften and he takes a deep breath. "Are you sure?"_

_She nods. "I am."_

_He places his hand over hers and smiles before bending his head down towards hers. Their lips are just about to meet, when he pulls away slightly. _

"_Are you absolutely sure, Brooke? Because I can wait. I really can."_

_She grins, pulling his head down and brushing her lips against his. "I've never been more sure in my life. I want to be with you, Lucas Scott. Forever."_

* * *

**A/N: **I'm really loving writing these flashbacks, hence the reason that there's two in here instead of the normal one. I think the next chapter will have two as well, although that might change.

Thanks so much for reading and please remember to review!!!

**Lena: **Hello again! I agree—the flashbacks are very bittersweet. I guess you just have to focus on the happiness in the flashbacks and try to ignore the future for a little. That's the only way you can fully enjoy them, but it's also almost impossible to do… So, yeah, like I said, they're bittersweet. As for Lindsay, hopefully she was easier to bear this chapter! Obviously, there's some trouble brewing in the Lindsay/Lucas relationship… It's funny that you mention throwing a guy into a mix for Brooke, because I will be. I know that's not exactly what you want to hear, but it won't be too bad. The only thing this guy will do is help move along the Brucas relationship, so really it will be good to have him in the story. You'll see what I'm talking about it when he comes into the story, which is still going to be a little while, but trust me when I say it won't be a big deal and it definitely won't overshadow Brucas in any way! And I agree— the show is a lost cause. I enjoyed my night last night so much better than I would have if I'd actually watched the show and I still don't have any desire to watch it, even though I could easily cave and turn on my DVR and watch it. Besides, I've got two other shows on at nine on Monday nights that I like to watch, so it was good to get rid of OTH and clear my schedule a bit :D. Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing, Lena! It means a lot!


	9. Storm Clouds Gathering

**Storm Clouds Gathering**

There is a small, dusty scrapbook that sits in his closet. It has sat there for over two and a half years and he has not touched it since the week after his son died. It's cramped inside a small cardboard box, alongside eighty-two letters that are all addressed to him. The box itself is hidden underneath piles of clothes and other meaningless objects so that he doesn't have to face it everyday. Many people would simply get rid of the box and all that it contains after such a long period of time, but over the years he wasn't able to force himself to do it. Today, though, he is thankful that he kept his resolve and saved it.

He is a bit nervous as he reaches deep into the closet and feels around for the box, but he knows that this is a step he needs to take. He needs to face his past if he is every going to be able to move completely forward. He only hopes Brooke can do it too.

When he finally finds the familiar object, he pulls it out with some difficulty before placing it on the bed. He takes a steady breath before slowly opening the box and peaking inside. Everything is just as he remembers—a little dustier than normal, but still intact. Everyday since Brooke had left, he'd been tempted to pull out the scrapbook and lose himself in the memories, but he'd been too much of a coward. He was afraid of the memories it would bring, but mostly he was afraid of thinking about Brooke. If he thought about Brooke, then he would lose control of the emotions he had tried so hard to keep in control. So, he simply ignored the box and the letters and the scrapbook, hoping that maybe someday he would find enough courage to open it again and just remember.

And now he is finally ready.

His hands are shaking slightly as he picks up the scrap book. His breath catches in his throat as he read the letters on the cover, etched there by Brooke herself— _Garrett Scott_.

He had laughed when Brooke originally insisted on making a scrapbook to document her both her pregnancy and Garrett's childhood. It had been shortly before she and him had gotten back together. He'd never been fond of scrapbooks, although Brooke and his mom both were. They were too cheesy, is what he claimed. But she convinced him that someday he would look back and be thankful to have that scrapbook to remind him of all that great memories that they would share.

And now he's surprised that he _is_ thankful. Because maybe now he can look back at everything and just be thankful for the time that they shared with their son. Maybe now he can look back at the memories and actually smile.

Before he opens the scrapbook, his fingers graze the letters in the box. He picks one up and smiles at its content. He'd read these letters over and over in the few months after his and Brooke's night in New York and practically had them all memorized. He sets the scrapbook back on the bed and sits down, his eyes still on the letter and the smile never leaving his face.

"What are you doing?"

He looks up in surprise. "Lindsay!"

His girlfriend is standing at his door, a deep frown on her face. He had forgotten she was returning from New York today. He smiles as he quickly stands up, his hand still gripping the letter, and walks over to her. When he attempts to kiss her, she pulls her head away.

"Those are Brooke's letters," she states seriously.

He looks over at the box with narrowed eyes. "How do you know about the letters?"

For a moment her familiar smile returns and she chuckles softly. "You wrote all about it in your book."

"Oh." He shrugs helplessly. "Yeah."

Lindsay's frown returns and she moves into the room with a sigh, bringing her luggage in behind her. Closing the door, here eyes move back towards the bed, where the letters are now strewn about.

"Lucas, what am I doing here?"

Confusion spreads across his face. "What?"

"Why am I here, wasting away in Tree Hill for you, when your heart isn't even with me?"

His eyes narrow. "I never asked you to live here, Lindsay. That was your choice."

"Don't put this on me," she says, glaring at him. "You were happy to have me live with you. And that's beside the point. You know, I really thought that you and I had something special. I thought the love that we shared could overcome everything you had gone through with Brooke, but obviously I was wrong, because if those boxes of letters have anything to do with it, then you're clearly still in love with her."

He runs a hand through his hair in frustration. "Lindsay…"

She sighs and sits on the bed. She doesn't look angry anymore, just defeated.

"I don't know why I even thought I stood a chance against her," she murmurs.

Lucas sits next to her, putting a hand on her knee. "You're an amazing girl, Lindsay. I'm lucky to have you."

"But I'm not Brooke."

He looks away, unable to meet her eyes. He's breaking her heart right now and he hates it. But she's right— she's not Brooke.

"I'm sorry."

Is that all he can ever say to a girl when she's breaking up with him? He's starting to think it is…

She just nods. "I know. And it's okay. You and Brooke shared something amazing, Lucas, and it was stupid of me to ever think I could ever replace her. I mean, you had a child together. You were engaged… And then you lost a child together. That's enough to bind two people together forever. I think I knew it was only a matter of time before Brooke came back and you two found your way back to each other."

"I never meant for this to happen," he says with a sigh. "I thought that you and I would work. I'm sorry that I put you through this. It wasn't fair to you."

"I believe you, Luke. I know you would never intentionally hurt me like this. You and Brooke…you were just inevitable."

He doesn't know what to say to this and soon they lapse into silence. It is another minute before Lindsay stands up.

"I should probably pack up," she says, smiling sadly.

He nods and stands up with her. "Okay…"

"I'll probably just move back to New York. There's nothing really left for me here."

He looks down guiltily. "I'm sorry," he says, repeating his words from earlier.

He's surprised when her hand comes up to his face, grazing his cheek softly. "It's not your fault."

But it is, just like all the other times, and even though he knows in his heart that he and Lindsay aren't meant to be, he feels horrible for putting her through this. He looks at her for a moment, trying to wordlessly convey that he truly does care about her and wants her to be happy. She just smiles softly, letting him know that she does understand.

His eyes move over to the bed and he quickly gathers up the letters and piles them back into the box, before picking the box back up and stuffing it back into the closet.

"I'm gonna head out for a little while. Take all the time you need."

"Thanks. And Luke? I know you're not completely ready yet, but don't keep Brooke waiting too long, okay? She still loves you, you know, and you both deserve to be happy."

He just nods, smiling at her one last time before scooping the scrapbook off his bed and heading outside. There's only one person he wants to see right now.

**888**

"_Lucas! I'm home."_

_A grin falls upon his lips at the sound of her voice. That's all he seems to be doing nowadays—smiling. He can't help it, though; he's just so happy. He quickly sends off the email he had been writing to Lindsay before heading into the kitchen, where both Haley and Brooke are sitting together at the table. Haley is watching Lily walk, or rather wobble, energetically around the room. Ever since his little sister has learned to walk, she hasn't wanted to leave the ground. An almost two-year old Jamie sits in Brooke's lap. He watches in amusement from the doorway as she tickles the little boy, who giggles cheerfully in return. It's already obvious that Brooke is going to be an amazing mother._

_The ring on her left ring finger catches his attention for a moment. He'd proposed a couple days ago, even though they had only been back together for almost two and a half months, and much to his relief she'd said yes. Of course she'd been hesitant at first, especially since she and Peyton weren't on very good terms right now, but in the end, he'd won her over. And now she is going to be his wife. The thought makes him crazy with happiness. _

_Lily is the only one to notice him and toddles over to him excitedly. _

"_Luca!" she cries. She's still not able to fully pronounce his name._

_He holds his hands out and welcomes her into his arms, scooping her up in one swift motion. She gives him a toothless grin, before trying to wiggle free of his grasp and he sets her down again. His interaction with Lily has gained the attention of the others and Brooke winks at him._

"_Hey, stud."_

_He just grins. "Hello, Pretty Girl… Hey, Hales." Before he takes a seat next to her, he places a kiss on Brooke's forehead and ruffles Jamie's short, blond hair. Lucas' arm settles on the back of Brooke's chair. "How'd shopping go?"_

_Haley looks at Brooke pointedly. "It took forever."_

"_You knew what you were getting into," Brooke says with a laugh. _

"_True."_

_Brooke turns to Lucas excitedly. "Lucas, we got some of the _cutest_ clothes for the baby."_

_Haley laughs. "Brooke insisted on getting him a mini Bobcats jersey."_

"_It's adorable. He's going to look just like his daddy when he wears it."_

_He's glad to see Brooke so happy. It's been a rough four months ever since she returned, mostly because of the drama going on between her and Peyton. This, of course, was caused by the news of Brooke's pregnancy. Peyton hadn't been happy at all; in fact she had been both angry and bitter with Brooke for, in Peyton's words, betraying her. This had torn Brooke up completely and much of her first few weeks back in Tree Hill had been spent with her worrying over their fight and trying to make amends. Peyton wouldn't have it, though, and now, four months later, Peyton is still angry with her. They haven't spoken since the day Brooke told her, despite the fact that Brooke called often._

_Slowly, Brooke seems to be coming to terms with the fact that her friendship with Peyton might not ever be the same, but she still has hope that someday they might reconcile. Lucas feels horrible about everything because, in his mind, it really is his fault. Brooke assures him that she doesn't blame him, but he can't help but feel responsible for the rift in their friendship. Just like in the years past, he has come between them._

_He's distracted from his thoughts as Brooke situates herself in his lap. Jamie is back in Haley's arms, resting sleepily against her chest. Haley and Brooke continue talking about their shopping trip and he listens contentedly while his eyes switch back and forth between Brooke and Lily, who continues perkily bouncing around the floor. _

_Brooke's arms are wrapped around his neck, her fingers messaging the back of his head. His hand moves underneath her shirt, resting on her taut skin, and he smiles as he feels his son kicking against his palm. Even though the two of them still have so much to work through, he can't help but feel that right now, in this moment, everything is perfect. _

"_Are you happy?" he murmurs into her ear._

_She turns away from Haley, looking at him curiously for a moment before smiling. "Yeah, I am. More than I've ever been."_

_She doesn't know how relieved her words make him feel— all he wants is for her to be happy. "Good." _

**888**

She's only been home five minutes when the doorbell rings. She isn't sure who is stopping by, since Peyton is in Savannah for the weekend and Haley had told Brooke that, while Jamie stays with Deb, she and Nathan are having a night to themselves. She does know who she wants to be behind the door, though, and that is why, when she opens the door a few seconds later, she is very happy to see Lucas standing there.

He grins sheepishly at her. "Hi."

"Hey, Lucas," she says with a smile."What's up?"

"Well…" He shifts around nervously. "I actually wanted to show you something."

She looks at him curiously. "Okay, come on in."

"Sorry for stopping by on such short notice," he says as she leads him inside. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

She just smiles, motioning for him to take a seat on the couch, before moving into the kitchen. "Luke, you can stop by anytime. And you're not interrupting, don't worry. I actually just got home from work like five minutes ago, anyway."

"How's that going anyway?"

She glances through the cupboards, looking for her wine glasses. "The store's doing great so far. Even Victoria can't complain."

"That's great, Brooke. I knew you'd do well."

"Thanks."

Pulling out a bottle of wine and juggling two glasses in her free hand, she joins him again in the living room. She sits next to him on the couch, smirking as she hands him one of the cups.

"I don't know about you, but I've had a long day."

He chuckles and eagerly accepts the wine she pours into his glass. "Me too."

They both sip their drinks in silence, enjoying each other's company. Once again, things aren't awkward and she's happy for that. She's about to ask him what he wants to show her when she remembers something.

"Hey, wasn't Lindsay supposed to be coming back tonight?"

He sighs, taking a long sip from his wine, before looking at her with tired eyes. "Yeah, she came home about an hour ago."

She stares at him in confusion. "So why aren't you home with her?"

His fingers trace around the rim on the glass. "We broke up."

"Oh." A mixture of surprise and happiness radiate through her body, but she also feels bad for Lindsay. Lindsay's a good girl, no matter how much she didn't like her with Lucas. Still, she hides those emotions from Lucas and instead puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Lucas. This must be hard for you. I know you loved her a lot."

He nods slowly. "I did love her. Just not enough, I guess…It was for the best, though. There's no doubt in my mind about that."

She doesn't know what to say to this. She wants to comfort him, but he seems to be okay with the break up and so there is little she can do.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asks after a minute of silence.

He just smiles. "Yeah, I am."

She smiles back at him and nods. As she leans back into the couch and stretches her legs on to the coffee table, she notices for the first time the familiar object sitting in Lucas' lap. Her eyes narrow and for a moment she feels lightheaded. That can't be what she thinks it is. He can't possibly want to show her _that_ can he?

"Lucas…"

Her eyes flit between him and the scrapbook and he immedietly recognizes her uneasiness. His hands brush the book tenderly and he looks down at it tentatively.

"If you're not ready, I understand. I just…I thought looking at this might help the both of us move forward. I haven't looked at it since he died, so we'd both be doing this together. But we can wait—we don't have to do it today. I just thought I'd see if you might be open to it."

The idea of opening that scrapbook scares the hell out of her, but at the same time she just _knows_ that she has to do it. It's just one of the steps she needs to take to properly heal.

Her eyes glaze over slightly as she looks at the book again. Taking a deep breath, her hands reach for it. He gives it to her hesitantly, concern in his eyes.

"You don't have to do this if you're not ready."

"I need to," is her simple reply.

Her fingers toy with the rim of the book uncertainly. She isn't sure how well she will be able to hold up, but she only hopes it won't be as painful as she thinks it will be. Lucas moves closer to her, his hand grabbing hers and his other arm resting around her shoulders. She looks at him one last time, incredibly thankful that they can both be here for each other, before slowly opening it.

The first thing she sees is a picture of her first ultrasound. A date is scrawled underneath it, right next to Brooke's neat handwriting— '_six weeks'_. There are no other pictures on the page. She looks over at Lucas, who is smiling down at the photo.

She doesn't really know how she feels so far. Looking at the sonogram, which contains barely any visible evidence of a child, she isn't really sad. In fact, it only makes her smile when she thinks of their first visit to the doctor's office. She had been so nervous, but Lucas had been more than excited and that had been enough to make her excited too.

With a sudden burst of confidence, she flips the page. The next one has more pictures than the first—another sonogram of her twelfth week and a picture of her, standing sideways with her shirt pulled up, showing off her still flat belly. There're a few other pictures with her and Lucas and Karen. This page, like the first and all the rest to come, is colorfully decorated, reminding her of the day when she, Haley, and Karen had spent a memorable afternoon together working on it.

Still, she feels only a small amount of sadness. The memories that come from the pictures so far are only good ones and it's hard to be sad when all she can remember is being so happy. The next few pages bring out similar emotions.

She flips it to the sixth page, marked six months, and her eyes immediately land on a picture of her and Lucas. He's standing behind her, his arms wrapped around her and his hands resting on her swollen belly. They look so incredibly content. She smiles down at the younger versions of themselves. It's so strange to think how perfect everything had been back then, especially now, when everything is so messed up. But looking down at that picture, all she can see is the pure, unconditional love that they once shared.

Breaking away from the photo, she looks up at Lucas. He is staring at her softly and it's obvious that he's worrying about her. She realizes for the first time that his hand is still holding hers.

"How're you doing?"

"I expected it to be worse," she admits.

He smiles. "So did I."

"But we still haven't reached the tough stuff," she murmurs and suddenly a darker mood takes over her. She doesn't know if she will be able to bear seeing the next few pages.

His thumb gently strokes her knuckles. "We don't have to. What we've done tonight is already a huge step. If you want to wait…"

"No," she interrupts. "I want to do it."

His grip on her hand tightens slightly as she flips the page. There're a few more pregnancy pictures on one of the pages, but when her eyes land on the other one, her heart beat noticeably quickens.

Her eyes fill up with tears as she stares down at the photo. It was the first one they took of him, just a few hours after his birth. He was so incredibly tiny and hooked to machines and monitors, but through that all, Garrett's soft pale skin and light blonde hair stole her attention. Despite the situation they'd been in, Brooke had laughed through her tears when she first saw him, claiming that, despite the fact that like most newborns he resembled an alien, he looked just like Lucas.

She tares her eyes away from the photo for a moment and looks up at Lucas. They've both got tears in their eyes, but they're smiling and that in itself is a huge breakthrough.

"I'd almost forgotten what he looked like," Brooke says, brushing away a stray tear.

He chuckles softly. "I guess this scrapbook _did_ come in handy, then."

When she looks down at the next few pictures of Garrett, all taken during the first week after his birth, the sadness starts to overtake her again as she remembers the day he was born. It had probably been one of the most nerve-wracking days of her life…

_She steps out of the warm café and onto the snow packed sidewalks. She can't remember there being this much snow in Tree Hill since…well, she can't remember there _ever_ being this much snow in Tree Hill. But she likes it. It reminds her a little bit of New York. No matter how much she loves Tree Hill, she had grown to love New York and so leaving it had been a bit harder than she'd thought it would be. Still, she is incredibly happy here. In fact, she's not sure that she's ever been happier than she is now, here with Lucas, expecting a baby, and newly engaged. Everything is perfect. _

_Almost._

_There's only one thing that keeps her life from being the most perfect it's ever been and that is Peyton. She misses her best friend so much and wishes more than anything that things hadn't turned out this way. She doesn't regret her night with Lucas, especially since it resulted in the child that had brought them back together, but she wishes she could take away Peyton's pain that also came as a result._

_She's at her car now and is about to unlock the door when someone catches her eyes. Across the street, in a black leather jacket, appears to be the person that she hasn't been able to get out of her mind these past few months. Her eyes widen and she wonders if she's seeing wrong. That person can't possibly be who she thinks it is. But as she examines the figure more closely, her curly blonde hair and skinny frame are too familiar for it _not_ to be her. _

_Without even thinking, she starts running towards her._

"_Peyton!"_

_The blonde stops in her tracks, turning very slowly around. And sure enough, it is who she thought it was. Her best friend stares icily at her as she finally catches up with her._

"_Brooke."_

_For a moment, she forgets all that has happened between them and instead focuses on just how happy she is to see her friend._

"_I can't believe you're home!"_

_Peyton's hands are stuffed into her jacket. She looks at Brooke with an air of indifference. "I'm only here because my dad's in town for Christmas."_

"_Oh." Brooke frowns slightly. "That's great..."_

_Peyton tries to be discreet, but Brooke can feel her eyes travel down to her stomach, which very noticeably pokes out underneath her tan trench coat. And then reality crashes back down on her and she starts to feel incredibly awkward. She shifts around uncomfortably and looks down at the ground._

"_Nice ring."_

_Brooke winces at the harshness in Peyton's voice and looks down at the sparkling ring on her finger, wishing now that she remembered to bring a pair of gloves._

"_Look, Peyton…"_

"_You know what, Brooke? I don't care. I really don't. You want Lucas, you can have him."_

_Peyton turns to walk away and Brooke is surprised that she has nothing else to say, but then she turns around again, her face full of disappointment and anger._

"_I really thought that I could trust you. I thought that you were over Lucas and that I didn't have to worry about you doing the same thing I did to you. And even if you did have feelings for him, I thought you'd at least have the decency to keep your feelings to yourself. But I guess I was wrong. And now you're a hypocrite, Brooke, because you pulled the same stunt I did, except worse, because _I_ didn't sleep with him. I guess I'm just not the whore you are."_

_Brooke's teeth clench together as she tries to control her anger. She loves Peyton, but it's times like these that she can't help but want to punch her once again ex-best friend._

"_Are you serious?" Brooke says incredulously. "You can't seriously have expected me to keep my feelings for him to myself so that whenever _you_ decide that you suddenly feel like being with Lucas, you can be with him. Believe it or not, the world doesn't revolve around you, Peyton! He was free game and even though I never intended on anything happening between us, something did. And I understand that you're angry and feel betrayed. I get it, I really do. But you standing her, calling me a whore and a hypocrite is uncalled for because I did _nothing_ wrong."_

"_You don't really believe that, Brooke," Peyton scoffs. "He may have been single, but he was still in love with me. He wanted to marry me. But since he couldn't have me, he decided to settle for you. That's what he's doing right now, Brooke—he's settling for you. He knocked you up and now he's paying the price."_

_She doesn't even know what to say to this. Suddenly, it seems pointless to try to get through to Peyton. With a sigh of resignation, she turns around, unable to even look at Peyton's face. Before she walks away, she says one last thing._

"_Do you even love him, Peyton? Or better yet, do you love me? Because if you do, then you should want us to be happy, even if it hurts. That's what I did for you last year and I'd just hoped you'd do the same for us. But I guess I was wrong."_

_There's no reply as she walks back towards her car and she does her best to avoid looking back as she drives away. She's almost home when the tears start to fall. Now, after that horrible meeting with Peyton, there is little hope in her heart for a renewal of friendship between them._

_Peyton is going through almost the same thing she had gone through in senior year and so she understands the pain that Peyton is experiencing. But Brooke had managed to forgive Peyton and somehow try to be happy for her and Lucas. Why now, when the roles are reversed, can't Peyton do the same?_

_By the time she makes it inside, sobs wrack her body. Lucas' eyes widen in confusion as she stumbles into the living room and collapses onto the couch. Her arms hug a pillow, her tears soaking into it. He comes to sit by her and his hands run up and down her back. She can't stop crying. This whole fight with Peyton is breaking her heart._

_Whatever happened to hoes over bros? Why must Brooke follow that rule while Peyton goes and does whatever she pleases? Why is Peyton always the one who ends up the victim? And, the biggest question of all, why can't she stop caring about Peyton and just take care of herself for once? _

_Lucas is asking her what's wrong, but she doesn't answer. All she can think of is Peyton's angry, accusing face and the harsh way she spoke— as if Brooke was below her. This does nothing to soothe her sobs; in fact, the tears only come down harder._

_And then a new sensation hits her— a tight, painful tensing in her abdomen. Her hands fly to her stomach. _

_She can barely hear Lucas' anxious voice call at to her. Now that she has stopped crying, she notices for the first time the pounding headache that comes along with the seemingly endless cramping in her abdomen. And then she feels moisture on her body that wasn't there a second before and looks down to see a deepening flow of red seeping through her pants. _

_A shrill cry escapes her lips and her eyes widen in fear. Something is wrong. Something is _very _wrong._

She clamps the book shut, the memory of that night too much to think about. Tears steam down her face, but she is surprised to see that she has reached the end of the book. There are no more pictures left to see. She wishes so much that that isn't the case. Lucas' arm is wrapped securely around her and his grip on her hand is tighter than before. They both look at each other, not sure what to say.

The confusion that wracks her body is overwhelming. All of the memories that these pictures bring are suddenly too much to bear. She's mentally exhausted. Even though this had been a bit easier than she had thought it would be, it was still extrememly hard and she can't take anymore today.

"We did it."

She looks at him seriously. "Yeah, we did."

Her body slumps back onto the couch and her head falls into Lucas' lap. His fingers string through her hair soothingly as the tears continue to fall down her face. His lips brush against her forehead and her eyes automatically close.

Now she just wants to sleep and lose herself in the good memories. The memories of her and Lucas during the pregnancy and the days that she shared with Garrett— those are the times that she wants to dream of. And as sleep comes closer and closer, the last thing she sees in her mind is a picture of her son's face—beautiful, strong, and alive.

* * *

**A/N: **This chapter took me a long time to write for some reason, but I wanted it to be good, since a lot of important stuff happens in this one, so I hope you all liked it.

As usual, thanks so much for reading and please review!

**Lena: **Thanks for another awesome review! I think this was your longest one yet. I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. I hope you're happy that Lucas and Lindsay broke up. I think it was time. I'll be honest, the guy that I'm bringing in is basically just there to do what you mentioned—make Lucas jealous. It's definitely gonna be interesting :D. It's not going to be Julian, though. I love his character, but he doesn't have a place in this story. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks again for being such a great reviewer!


	10. Forsaken

**Forsaken**

He is in a surprisingly good mood, according to Haley at least. He can't help but feel slightly bad about it because most guys would be feeling pretty low less than twelve hours after their girlfriend broke up with him. But, even though he does feel bad for hurting Lindsay, he feels good about their breakup. In fact, there is little regret in his mind.

His time with Brooke last night had also been extremely productive. Going there, he hadn't imagined that she would have been able to get through every page of that scrapbook. Actually, he thought that her getting past the first page would have been enough. But she surprised him and in a way he surprised himself. They'd made it through the whole scrapbook and even though Brooke had been in tears by the end, and he found himself tearing up as well, the progress they made was amazing.

They hadn't talked much after looking through the scrapbook. She'd fallen asleep only a few minutes after they were finished looking through the scrapbook, and he followed quickly after. He had woken up in the early hours of morning and carried her to her bed before returning to an empty house. Lindsay had packed up quickly and left a note explaining that she'd already booked a flight back to New York. After that, he made his way to his bed and fell asleep.

Now, as he sits in front of his best friend and takes a sip of his steaming coffee, he lets out a content sigh. Haley smirks at him over her own coffee.

"Are you going to tell me what happened last night or am I going to have to force it out of you? Cause you know I will."

Lucas grins. "Oh, I definitely know you would."

"So? What happened? I mean, Lindsay broke up with you last night, yet you're sitting in front of me looking more at peace than you have in years. It must have to do with Brooke, right? Oh my God, did you get back together?"

He stops his friend before she can go any further. "No, Haley, we're not back together."

She looks relieved. "Good. Not that I don't want you to get back together, but I just don't think you should rush into anything. You're both still so fragile, especially Brooke."

He agrees with Haley, even though he wants more than anything to jump right back into Brooke's arms and never leave. But he doesn't want to rush things this time and more than anything, he doesn't want to pressure her into something she isn't ready for. Just like he'd promised himself three years ago, he'll wait until whenever she is ready. It doesn't matter how long it takes.

"What happened then?" Haley insists.

"Well, I went over to Brooke's house so that I could give Lindsay some time to pack and I brought that scrapbook you, my mom, and Brooke had made throughout her pregnancy and we looked at it together."

Haley raises an eyebrow. "Luke, that's huge."

"Yeah, I know."

"How'd she do?"

"It was tough, but she made it through. She said it wasn't as hard as she thought it would be and I felt the same. I could look back on most of the memories in that book and smile. Sometimes it was actually hard to be sad."

"That's because that book only holds good memories," Haley says. "You can choose to look at them and be sad, but let's face it, every single picture in there holds a memory that you will always hold close to your heart. It doesn't matter what happened after those pictures were taken, all that matters is that specific moment. And if you just let yourself live in that memory instead of breathing in the present, then you won't be able to resist being happy."

"I think you're right, Hales. This is definitely a good thing."

"You're both finally moving forward, Luke," Haley says, looking at him softly.

He nods. "Yeah, I think we are."

Haley's hand reaches across the counter and rests on his. "I'm proud of you, you know that?"

He chuckles. "Why is that?"

"Because even though Brooke's leaving managed to almost completely break you, you got over it and forgave her and let her back into your life without a second thought."

"I could never have stayed made at her forever," he admits. "I love her too much."

Haley smiles gently. "I know you do, Luke. It's all over your face. In fact, you look like a lovesick puppy right now."

He laughs as he takes another sip of coffee. "Good to know…"

A comfortable silence overtakes them for a moment, both enjoying their Saturday morning coffee together. He's happy to get to spend time with his best friend, especially since they've both been busy lately and haven't been able to properly hang out since Brooke returned. And today he'll be spending quality time with Jamie for the first time since what feels like forever. The thought of spending a day with Jamie makes him smile; he's missed that kid like crazy.

"Uncle Luke!"

Lucas turns around and greets his nephew, who beams up at him. Nathan is right behind him, walking without the crutches now.

"Hey, buddy," he says, ruffling the blonde boy's hair. "You ready to spend a day with me?"

Jamie nods eagerly. "Yeah. Can we play basketball at the River Court?"

"Sure. Whatever you want to do and we'll do it."

"Can we go visit Aunt Brooke at Clothes Over Bros?"

"That sounds like a great idea," Haley pipes in, sending Lucas a knowing smile.

"Actually, Brooke's not working today." After their late night last night, Lucas had made Brooke promise to take a day off from work. She'd been there practically non-stop ever since it opened and it was time she got a break. "But we can go see her at her house."

"Okay!" Jamie says excitedly.

"Jamie," Haley says, "go get your jacket and you guys can get going."

"Luke," Nathan says as Jamie disappears up the stairs, "Haley told me about you and Lindsay. I'm sorry, man."

He just shrugs. "It was for the best."

Nathan nods thoughtfully. "At least now there's nothing standing in between you and Brooke, eh?"

Haley laughs at this, but Lucas just rolls his eyes. Jamie marches back into the room a second later and immediately starts pushing Lucas out the door.

"Come on, we've got to go see Aunt Brooke."

Lucas waves goodbye to his brother and sister-in-law before heading over to the door and taking Jamie's hand.

"Have fun," Nathan says with a suggestive smirk.

Lucas just smiles. "Oh, we will."

**888**

Ever since she woke up, she hasn't been able to keep from glancing through the scrapbook every so often. It's only noon, but as she lies on her couch, her eyes scanning through the pictures, this is the third time that day that she's gone back to it. She isn't sure why she can't keep away, although if she had to guess, she'd say it is because these pictures bring her back to some of the best days of her life. It's easy to get lost inside the memories and forget about the real world. Besides, she can only assume it's good that she is able to comfortably go through something that can potentially ruin all the progress she's made.

Still, she'd be lying if she said it doesn't hurt at all. Over the last few hours she has sometimes found her mind wandering into the dangerous territory of 'what if'. She has mostly been able to avoid this, but sometimes, when her mind is at its weakest, she slips into the depression that she had been in the past two and a half years. But then she quickly throws all of the bad thoughts out her mind and resumes thinking about the good ones. She knows that in order to fully move forward, she has to go over both the good and the bad times, but she still isn't ready to think about some of those memories yet. They're simply too painful.

At the sound of a knock at her door, she's pulled from the pictures once again. Setting the book on the table, she goes to answer. She's not surprised to see Lucas standing there smiling happily at her, but she is surprised to see their godson with him.

"Hi, Aunt Brooke." Jamie looks up at her with a shy smile. She hasn't spent much time with Jamie ever since moving back and now with him standing right in front of her, she realizes just how much she has missed him. She immediately pulls the little boy into her arms and he giggles in response.

"How's my favorite godson?" she asks as she pulls away.

"I'm your _only_ godson," Jamie corrects.

"Hence you being my favorite," she says with a grin. "But even if I get any more godchildren in the future, you'll always be my favorite."

Jamie smiles. "Good, cause you'll always be my favorite godmother…even though you're my only godmother."

"Thanks, J. Luke. So, what are my two favorite Scotts up to today?"

"Actually," Lucas says, "Jamie and I are heading over to the River Court to shoot some hoops, but Jamie wanted to stop by here first to say hi."

"You should come with us!" Jamie says excitedly.

She wants to, but Lucas told her earlier that he and Jamie hadn't spent much time together in awhile and she doesn't want to intrude.

But Lucas nods in agreement. "Yeah, you've got a day off so you might as well make use of it. Wait, you _are_ going to take a day off, right?"

He's looking slyly over her shoulder to make sure that she isn't doing anything she shouldn't be, but it doesn't go unnoticed by her. She follows his gaze to the open scrapbook and notices the worry that comes over his face.

"Yes, I'm definitely taking a day off. And I'm fine," she adds, knowing that he is probably worried about her emotional state after looking through the scrapbook without him.

A small amount of relief washes over his face and he smiles. "Okay…So what do you say?"

"Are you sure? I don't want to interfere with your uncle-nephew day."

"No, you won't," Jamie insists. "We both want you to come, don't we, Uncle Luke?"

When she turns to look at Lucas, he is smiling softly down at her, his eyes probing into hers gently. "We really do." His voice is so soft that she can barely hear him and the look in his eyes as he stares at her is enough to make her weak in the knees. She hasn't seen him look at her like that for a very long time and she has missed it so much. It's a look that he used to wear everyday when they were together— pure and unadulterated love. Her heart beat quickens as she smiles back at him and she wonders if he can see the effect that look has on her. She wants to be with him so badly right now and she's pretty sure now that he feels the same way.

"O-okay," she stutters out. It's hard for her to control her emotions when he makes her feel this way. "Just let me get ready."

"That'll take awhile," Lucas says as he grins challengingly at her.

His joking manner manages to calm her down and she playfully swats his arm. "Shut up. Come wait inside and I'll be ready in ten."

As she goes to get ready, she feels the excitement of spending the afternoon with Lucas finally hit her. Even though they have been hanging out with each other a lot lately, most of the time it had only involved serious conversations that left them both drained. Today, though, they can just have fun. And, after last night, that's exactly what she needs.

**888**

They walk down the riverwalk with Jamie in between them. The little boy licks at his ice cream silently, his free hand in Brooke's. After taking him to the River Court to play basketball, Lucas and Brooke had taken him for a late lunch and then ice cream afterwards.

Lucas can't deny that today has been one of the best days he's had in awhile. Just spending time with Brooke— focusing on just having fun instead of all of their other problems— is refreshing. As he looks over at her, he can tell that she, too, is content. There's a look of peace on her face, something he hasn't seen on her for awhile now.

They find a bench near the water and sit down. Brooke pulls Jamie onto her lap and teases him by trying to lick his ice cream. Jamie pulls away before she can get to it and laughs.

"Too slow," his nephew teases.

Brooke grins as she sticks out her own cone. "I'll let you taste mine if I can taste yours."

Jamie's face scrunches up in disgust. "Ewww, that'll just spread yucky germs."

She shakes her head with laughter and eyes Lucas playfully. "Yup, he's definitely Haley's son."

Brooke and Jamie continue their rambling, but he just quietly watches. He has forgotten how amazing Brooke is with Jamie. He realizes that he hasn't even seen them interact for years, yet she's only gotten better with him.

And then his thoughts stray to the inevitable.

She would be such a great mother. She _was _a great mother. It's not fair that she barely got to experience it. They should be sitting here right now with their own son. He should be spending the day with Brooke, Jamie, _and_ Garrett.

Sometimes moments like these will just hit him and he'll sit and brood for hours about what should have been. But he can't really do that now, not with Brooke and Jamie sitting right next to him, and especially not when Brooke is so happy.

And so he tries to force his mind drift back to happier thoughts of better time. But it's no use; sitting here and knowing that he and Brooke shouldn't just be godparents, but parents as well, is too much for him and his mood is dark once again.

**888**

_He can't stop pacing. His mind's a mess, plain and simple. He just doesn't understand how this can be happening. One moment Brooke comes in crying her eyes out, the next she's bleeding and they're on their way to the hospital._

"_Lucas, stop. You're making me nervous."_

_He pauses for a moment to look over at Brooke, who is lying surprisingly calmly in the hospital bed in front of him. The moment they'd gotten to the hospital, the doctors had taken her away from him to take a series of tests. A couple hours after that—which felt more like days to him—she was admitted into a private room. Now they are waiting for the test results to come back to figure out exactly what is wrong. The only thing that gives him any bit of relief is the fact that the doctors have assured them that the baby is alive. _

"_Sorry," he mutters, taking a seat next to the bed. "How can you be so calm?"_

_She just shrugs. "I have to be strong for him," she answers simply. Her hand absently mindedly strokes her stomach. "Anyway, we need at least _one _of us to be sane if we're going to survive this, and since you're obviously not going to take that role, then I have to."_

_But there's something about the way she's speaking that tells him that she really isn't as calm as she's trying to make herself out to be. And then he realizes that he has no idea why she came home crying. His hand reaches to clasp hers. His mother is meeting Haley and Nathan outside the hospital, so now, before they all gather inside Brooke's room, is the best time to talk to her about whatever happened._

"_What happened before you came home, Brooke? What happened that could have caused you to be such a mess?"_

_At this, she visibly tenses and removes her hand from his. "Did you know Peyton's in town?"_

_Suddenly everything seems to be clear and he can only hope that what Brooke's about to tell him doesn't involve a screaming match caused by his former girlfriend._

"_What did she do?" There's anger in his voice, but he can't help it. _

"_We ran into each other on the street." Her eyes are void of any emotion and this worries him. "And she accused me of being a whore and a hypocrite." She is practically whispering now and it breaks his heart to know how Peyton could have torn her up so much. "She said I should have never gone after you…that I should have kept my feelings to myself. And then she said that you're settling for me."_

_Lucas wants to strangle Peyton right now. She _knows_ how much her words can affect Brooke. She _knows _how much Brooke cares about her, and yet she tears her down, not caring what mess she leaves behind in her wake. _

_His hand intertwines with hers again. "Brooke, you know that she's wrong, don't you? She's wrong about everything. I'm not settling for you. If anything I was settling for _her_. I love you more than anything else in this world and I know that you know that. She's blinded by her anger and is trying to plant these thoughts in your mind to make you feel bad, to scare you off."_

_A spark of emotion flares in Brooke's eyes: disappointment. "I know. I just wish our friendship hadn't come to this again. I love her, Luke. She's my best friend, my sister, even. What if she can't get over this? What if I lose her forever?" She's crying now, and he puts a comforting hand on her arm._

"_Brooke, don't worry about this now. Things will work out, they always do. Let's just concentrate on the baby, okay?"_

_She nods slowly. "Okay."_

_The doctor walks in a second later and Lucas immediately forgets all thoughts of Peyton. Brooke's hold on his hand tightens._

"_Mr. Scott, I'm Doctor Reid." The older man sends Brooke a tender smile. "How are you doing, Brooke? Is the pain gone yet?"_

_She smiles and Lucas is glad that this doctor is so warm and friendly. He's calming and they both need that now more than ever._

"_Yes, I feel pretty numb," she responds._

_Dr. Reid nods. "Good, good. Well, I've got the results back from your tests."_

"_Is everything going to be okay?" he asks, suddenly feeling the panic set back in. He can't bear the thought of losing either one of them._

"_I wish I could say yes," Dr. Reid says with a sigh, "but at this point we can't know for sure. We do, however, know what the cause of this problem is. This is a case of placenta abruptio. What that means is that the placenta has separated from the uterus, meaning that basically all of the oxygen and nutrients being transferred to the baby from your body are either partially or completely cut off. In this case, the placenta did not completely separate from the uterus, but it was enough to cut off most of the supply of oxygen to the baby."_

"_So what does that mean for us?" Brooke asks._

_Somehow he already knows the answer._

"_I'm afraid we're going to have to perform an emergency c-section."_

_Lucas' head falls into his hands. This isn't good at all. It's way too soon. "There's no other options?" he asks in defeat._

"_No," Dr. Reid replies, "I'm sorry. It's for both the safety of Brooke and your child. We were lucky that your bleeding stopped earlier, Brooke, but it is very possible that a further tare could result in more bleeding, and this time it isn't ensured that it will stop. If that happened…well, it wouldn't be good for either one of you."_

_Lucas lifts his head to peak at Brooke, who is frozen in her spot, her eyes rigid with fear. "I'm only 29 weeks. What are his chances of making it?"_

_The doctor sighs. "It'll all depend on his lung capacity, so until we see him I can only give you an estimate. I'd say the odds are 50/50. It will be a rough start for him, that's for sure, but I've seen baby's bounce back from worse. I will tell you this, though—you're son's chances of surviving are higher out here than in there. If we don't get him out within the next few hours, he won't survive."_

_He feels as if his whole world is falling apart. How can everything have been so perfect this morning and now, twelve hours later, their son— and possibly Brooke too— is fighting for his life. He squeezes Brooke's hand, letting her know that he is here for her, but she has tears in her eyes and it is an obvious struggle for her to keep her emotions in check._

_And suddenly anger takes over his mind. He has no idea why this happened, but he does know that Peyton sent Brooke home a complete mess. If the stress Peyton put on Brooke had anything to do with this, he doesn't know if he will ever be able to forgive her._

"_Doctor," Lucas calls just as Dr. Reid turns to leave, "what caused this?"_

"_Placenta abruptio is a strange thing, Mr. Scott. Oftentimes, it's hard for us to fully diagnose it until we operate and even then it can remain a mystery. Brooke's blood-pressure levels are normal, so it most likely wasn't due to stress or any unhealthy habits. My guess is that it is just a freak thing, although we will know more soon."_

"_So it wasn't stress?" For some reason he needs to hear it again, so that he can know for sure that it wasn't Peyton's fault._

"_No, I really don't think so."_

_He glances over at Brooke who looks relieved. She must have been thinking along the same lines as him. He isn't sure how to feel about this, though. Right now, as bad as it sounds, he just wishes he had someone to blame for this mess—it's easier to have something or someone to blame instead of having no idea why it happened._

"_We'll get you prepped for surgery right away, Brooke. You should be in the operating room in less than an hour."_

_Lucas doesn't even realize until after the doctor leaves what his words mean—in less than an hour, their son will be here. In less than an hour, he will be a dad and Brooke will be a mom. That in itself would be an awe-inspiring thought if not for the fact that, in less than an hour, their son might be dead instead._

* * *

**A/N: **I'm sort of basing what happened to Brooke and Lucas off of the experience of a family I know. I got a lot of the facts about placenta abruptio from them, but also from my anatomy and physiology class at school and of course the internet. If there's anyone out there who sees anything wrong with any of the medical stuff I put in here, please let me know! I like to know when I'm making mistakes :D. Anyway, thanks for reading and please review!

**hopefulsoul: **I hope this chapter answered your question from your last review, but to make it clear— Garrett died _after_ the pregnancy. Thanks for asking!

**Lena: **I'm really happy that you're enjoying the pace of this story. I wanted to make it as realistic as possible and I just didn't think that Lindsay would stay with Lucas when it was obvious that his heart was still with Brooke. And I really wanted to make Brooke a bit more courageous in this story, so I'm glad you're liking that aspect. She's done running away now and so she's going to face her fears, even though she knows it's going to hurt. In some areas, she's not completely ready, but in others, like the scrapbook, she is. And she'll only get stronger from here. And yeah, Peyton was a bitch. There's no use in denying it. But it wasn't her fault, as much as it may have seemed like it at first. I'm sure there a lot of you out there wishing that it was, though :D.


	11. Don't Be Far Away

**Don't Be Far Away**

_Except for the low murmuring of the doctors as they stand over her and the slow beeping of the machines around them, everything is quiet. Adorned in a pair of blue scrubs,_ _Lucas sits next to Brooke as she lies on the operating table. His hand clings tightly onto hers. Her eyes stare up at the ceiling blankly and he knows that she's trying not to think about what's happening to her body right now. _

_The mood has been somber ever since she arrived in the operating room. The nurses whisper words of encouragement, but the doctors are serious and determined to do their job right. He's thankful for that, at least, because he knows that he can trust them with Brooke and his son's life. _

_His hand squeezes hers and for a brief second she looks over at him. She's scared; there're no other words for the look in her eyes. He brushes his lips against her forehead gently and her hand squeezes his back in reassurance. A second later, her eyes are on the ceiling again._

_He hears one of the doctors say to another that they're almost there. A nurse tells Brooke and him that it'll only be another minute before their baby is here. Brooke's grip on his hand tightens considerably. _

_It's only been thirty seconds, though, when the doctors hold up the blanket that cradles their child. Lucas can't make out anything but the blanket as the doctor hands him to the nurse, who places him in an incubator. The other nurses in the room immediately circle around him._

_This is all happening in such a short space of time that he doesn't even grasp that his son his born until a full minute later, when one of the nurses waves him over. He looks down at Brooke, whose eyes are glazed over with tears as she looks longingly over at where the nurses surround their son._

"_Go," she whispers. _

_He nods, knowing that she wouldn't have it any other way, and places another kiss on her forehead before moving over towards their son. One of the nurses – Kellie, if he remembers correctly— touches his shoulder before he can reach him._

"_I should warn you—he's very small and very weak. It might be tough to see it first."_

_Lucas glances towards the incubator anxiously. "Is he okay?"_

"_His lungs aren't fully developed so we need to get him on a ventilator. Some of his other major organs need more time to develop as well, which means he needs to be very closely monitored. After you see him, we'll need to get him down to NICU right away. Luckily, we have a great neonatal unit here, so he'll be in great hands."_

_He takes a deep breath, nodding slowly as Kellie leads him over to the incubator. His son lies in the middle of the strange see through tube, his chest moving up and down with immense effort. The nurses next to him are quickly working on setting him up to the ventilator. _

_The first thing Lucas think s when he sees him is that he is so extremely tiny. He looks like a very small doll. His skin is a light shade of pink and the hair on his head is so light that it almost looks like he's bald. Lucas can't help but smile when he realizes that he's blonde like him. His fingers are curled into tiny fists as he reaches out blindly around him, his eyes clenched shut. And, even though he is so small and so frail, is absolutely beautiful._

_And then it hits him. This is his son. And he's alive—just barely holding on, but alive. His eyes fill up with tears as he stares down at his boy. He can't believe he's actually a father._

_He looks back at Brooke, whose eyes are locked on him, and beams at her. It doesn't matter the situation, it just amazes him that he and Brooke created this life together. Brooke seems encouraged by his smile and he can see that she immediately relaxes. _

"_Does he have a name?" Kellie asks him._

"_Garrett," he murmurs. He and Brooke had chosen this name only two weeks ago, after much debate. If only he'd known then how soon they would actually be using it. _

_Kellie smiles. "That's a great name. We're going to have move Garrett to NICU now, but when Brooke is done getting stitched up and we get her into recovery, we'll let the two of you come in and see him. Does that sound okay?"_

_Lucas doesn't want to leave him, not when he's seen him for all of two minutes. But he knows that for the sake of his son, he has to let the nurses take him._

_And so he nods. "Take care of him," he whispers._

_Kellie looks at him seriously. "We will."_

_Garrett is rolled away before he can even blink, leaving him frozen behind. It's a few seconds later before he is back to his senses and moves back to Brooke's side._

"_He's so beautiful," he says, smiling down at her. A few tears slide down her face as his hand strokes her hair. _

"_I want to see him," she mumbles. _

"_You will. The nurses are taking him to NICU, but after you get out of here and get a little bit of rest, we're going to go together to see him. God, Brooke, he's so amazing. Small, but amazing. And he's got blonde hair. It's so light, but it's definitely there. He's just…I can't even describe how beautiful he is, Brooke. You'll see him soon." His hand reaches for hers again. "He's our son, Brooke."_

_Through her tears, she smiles. "He's alive."_

**888**

By the time they bring Jamie home, it is dark outside. Brooke hugs Jamie tight to her, kissing him on his cheek as she says goodbye. It's been so good spending time with him today and she definitely needed it after the stressful month she's been having.

She's a little worried about Lucas, though. After ice cream, he seemed a little off and even now, standing right in front of the ever observant Haley James Scott, he is clearly brooding. Haley looks over at her curiously, wordlessly asking what's up with her best friend, but Brooke just shrugs.

As they walk back down the driveway towards Lucas' car, he is still preoccupied. When they step into his car and he still says nothing, she puts a hand on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

He looks startled for a second, but quickly covers it up with a forced smile. "Nothing."

She's not buying it for a second. "Luke, something's bothering you. I can tell. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

He sighs, his eyes focusing on the steering wheel in front of him. "I know and I'm fine, Brooke. Now let's get you home." He twists the key in the ignition and soon they're driving towards her house. His eyes narrow as he stares at the road in concentration. She hasn't seen him this broody for a long time now, but she knows better than to force him to open up to her when he's driving. Still, she isn't keen on letting him drown in his worries much longer.

When they arrive at her house, she asks him to come in, knowing that even now, in his brooding state, he won't be able to resist. He follows her inside and, just like the other night, she pulls out two glasses and a bottle of wine.

"Sit," she says, motioning towards the swivel chair by the counter. He obliges and smiles gratefully as she hands him his glass. They sit there for a few minutes, sipping their drinks in comfortable silence. She leans against the counter expectantly, her eyes on him as he continues to look distant.

She doesn't know for sure what's bothering him, but she has a feeling it has something to do with Garrett. What else could have put him in such a mood?

"Lucas," she says gently, "talk to me." He looks surprised when his eyes land on her again. "I know something's bothering you."

"Am I that obvious?" he says with a tired smile.

She grins. "I don't call you Broody for nothing."

He chuckles softly before looking down at the counter with a sigh. "When we were hanging with Jamie earlier, I just couldn't help but think about the fact that we should've had Garrett with us today. We should've had a son to take care of and Jamie should have had a cousin to hang out with. I think about that sort of stuff all the time, to be honest, but it just really got to me today. I don't know why, but I couldn't get the thought out of my mind. And I didn't want to tell you because you looked so happy with Jamie today. I just didn't want to ruin your mood."

"Oh, Luke…" Her hand reaches across the counter to rest on his. "You know, I was thinking along the same lines, too. I always think about what we _should _have in our life right now. And I'll be honest— one of the reasons I haven't been spending as much time with Jamie since I've came home is because he reminds me of the son I lost."

He nods understandingly. "It's just hard thinking about how different things should be right now. Garrett might not have spent a lot of time on this earth, but his death impacted us more than we could have ever imagined."

Brooke looks down at her and Lucas' intertwined hands. She isn't sure she's ready for where this conversation seems to be heading.

"See, I knew I'd ruin your mood by telling you all this."

She looks up at him in surprise. "You didn't ruin my mood, Luke, trust me. I may have looked happy today, but I was struggling on the inside just as much as you. Don't get me wrong—spending time with Jamie was so great and he really does make me happy, but I had to try really hard to just push those thoughts of Garrett and what should have been out of my head and just focus on being with my godson. It was a lot harder than it looked." She pauses and takes a long breath, chuckling to herself. "Look at us. We've just spent a great day with our amazing godson and still we're sitting here all depressed. We really are a mess."

"It's all a part of the grieving process, though. You've got your good days and bad days, but you've got to go through the bad ones to get to the good ones.

She just smiles. "The road to heaven leads through hell, right?"

"It really does." He takes a long sip of his wine, draining his glass, and sets it in front of Brooke, who fills it up again. "It's all worth it in the end, though. There's always that light at the end of the tunnel that gives you the hope you need to keep moving forward, even though it's going to be a tough journey there."

They look at each other for a moment as she takes in his words. She knows what he's saying is true—there is always going to be dark periods in your life, but you can't give up. You keep moving forward to reach the brighter days. These past two and a half years have been one of those dark times for her, but she knows without a doubt that better days are right around the corner.

**888**

_She sits in the wheelchair, her fingers twiddling together nervously as Lucas pushes her down the hallway towards the place that their son is being held. Karen walks along side her, every now and then throwing anxious glances her way. Even though everyone seems to be worried about how she will react to seeing her son for the first time, she is more than excited—a bit nervous, but excited nonetheless. _

_After Brooke got out of surgery, she was moved back to her room to get some rest. She'd insisted on seeing Garrett right away, but both Lucas and the nurses insisted she rested first. Karen had told Lucas to go and take some pictures of him, but Brooke had told him to wait. She wanted to see him with her own eyes first. Nothing else was good enough._

_And now, hours later, she is finally getting to see him. Lucas stops her in front of the large glass window in front of the NICU. Incubators line the room, parents standing over some of them, looking on at their own children, while nurses tended to the others. Her eyes strain to see if she can find her own child, but she isn't sure where to look. _

_Lucas' hand comes to rest on her shoulder. "He's towards the back. You can't see him from here."_

_Lucas dons a sterile pair of scrubs and then the nurses let him and Brooke inside, where they both thoroughly wash up. Karen waits outside and watches them from the window. Her soon to be mother-in-law will get to see her new grandson a little while later._

_She smiles in excitement as Lucas pushes her towards the back of the room. Both the nurses and Lucas have warned her that he is very fragile looking, but she doesn't care—she just can't wait to finally meet her baby._

_They stop in front of an incubator and her eyes immediately land on the child inside it. _Her_ child. He is attached to a ventilator and other machines. His chest moves up and down quickly, as if he is struggling to breath. A white bracelet is wrapped around his tiny wrist and she smiles at the words on it—_Scott, Garrett.

_Tears fill up in her eyes at this bittersweet moment. Garrett is fragile and weak and it breaks her heart to see him fighting for his life, but he's alive. He made it though his first big obstacle and now he continues to fight. And, like Lucas told her right after he was born, he is absolutely beautiful. _

_She laughs a little as her eyes land on his almost invisible blond hair. "He looks just like you, Luke." She looks up at her fiancé for a moment and is happy to see him smiling too. He sits in the chair next to her and wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him. _

_Her hand moves to rest against the incubator. It's the closest she can be to Garrett right now, at least until the nurses say he is ready to breathe on his own for a little bit. Lucas presses his nose against the glass, smiling softly down at their son. His hand reaches for hers, grasping it tightly._

_They both watch him silently, knowing that there is nothing they can do now but hope and pray that he can pull through. _

**888**

Her eyes droop as she tries to concentrate on the sketch she is working on. It's hard to stay awake when she barely had any sleep last night and spent the majority of the day entertaining her wonderful but energetic godson.

"B. Davis! Are you home?"

She looks up from her drawing and smiles at the sound of her best friend's voice. She hadn't realized until now that Peyton was supposed to be coming home tonight. Leaving her sketches on her bed, she flies downstairs into the living room, where Peyton is waiting.

"P. Sawyer!" She pulls Peyton into a hug. "When did you get back from Savannah?"

"Just now," Peyton responds, settling onto the couch. "So, how've things been since I've been gone? Anything big happen?"

Brooke chuckles and sits down next to Peyton. "Actually, Lucas and Lindsay broke up."

Peyton's eyes widen. "Seriously? Wow…that was sooner than I expected, but that's definitely a good thing."

Her eyes narrow in confusion. "What do you mean it was sooner than you expected?"

"You know that Lucas couldn't stay with Lindsay when he still has feelings for you."

"Who says he still has feelings for me?"

She knows that there is a great possibility that he does in fact still have feelings for her, but until he tells her himself there is no way to know for sure. Still, she is pretty sure that she was one of the main reasons behind Lucas and Lindsay's breakup.

Peyton arches an eyebrow. "Come on, Brooke, it's so obvious that he's still in love with you. Look, I don't know what's been going on with the two of you while I was away, but I do know that, before I left, all Lucas seemed to do was talk about you. He tried to seem indifferent about it, but you were always on his mind."

Brooke sighs and turns to look away. She really doesn't want to talk about her feelings for Lucas with anyone but Lucas, which probably means that it will be awhile before that happens.

"Can we talk about something else please?"

Peyton just smiles knowingly. "Sure. So, anything else happen? The interesting stuff always seems to happen while I'm away."

"Well, I don't know if I'd call it big, but Lucas and I did go through this scrapbook we made about Garrett." She motions towards the scrapbook on the table and Peyton looks at her with an encouraging smile.

"Brooke, that's great! That's got to be a huge step, right?"

Brooke nods. "Yeah, I think so."

Peyton's eyes are on the book and Brooke can tell that she's curious to look at it; after all, Peyton had never seen it before.

"Do you want to see it?" Brooke asks.

Peyton looks back at her and nods. "If you don't mind."

Brooke just smiles. "We can look at it together."

By now, Brooke is once again familiar with all of the photos. Peyton looks at each one with a small smile her face. It's strange to think that when a majority of those pictures had been taken, she and Peyton had been on such bad terms. Now, though, they are once again the best of friends. After they made it through that incident, Brooke doesn't think anything could possibly break their friendship again.

It's another half hour before they finish. When they're done, Peyton looks over at her with guilt in her eyes. Brooke knows what she's going to say before she even does.

"I'm so sorry, Brooke."

"Peyton," she says patiently, "we've gone over this over and over again. It wasn't your fault."

"I know, but I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I hadn't gotten into that big blowout with you that night. I know the doctors said it was a freak thing, but I really think things could have gone differently if I hadn't been such a bitch to you."

Brooke chuckles lightly as she puts a hand on Peyton's shoulder. "We'll never know, Peyton, and to be honest, I don't care. I never once blamed you for what happened and I never will. So you need to stop blaming yourself because it wasn't your fault at all."

Peyton sighs, resting her head on Brooke's shoulder. "I'm still sorry, though. For everything that I did and for everything that happened. You didn't deserve any of it."

Brooke just smiles. "Thanks, Peyton..."

**888**

_It has been eleven hours since her son was born and in those eleven hours her life has changed completely. Even though Garrett has been alive for only a short amount of time, she already struggles to imagine life without him._

_What would she be doing right now if she hadn't given in to Lucas that night in New York? She definitely wouldn't be lying here in a hospital bed. She also would probably still be best friends with Peyton Sawyer, but she definitely wouldn't be engaged to Lucas. She also wouldn't be a mother. Besides losing Peyton, she knows that she would change that night for the world. It brought her back to Lucas and gave her the gift of her son._

_The doctors say she should be sleeping, but she can't stop looking through the camera at the pictures they took of Garrett. He looks so fragile and small, but she knows that he is a fighter. He has to make it through this. She doesn't know what she'll do if he doesn't…_

_Lucas pops his head inside the room and she's surprised to see him there; she'd sent Lucas home earlier this morning to get some sleep. A glance at the clock tells her it's only one in the afternoon, meaning that Lucas barely got any sleep, if any. _

_She's about to scold him for this, but he speaks before she gets the chance._

"_You've got a visitor." For some reason he looks slightly nervous, therefore making her nervous as a result._

"_Okay. Who is it?"_

_He opens the door completely and reveals one of the last people she expected to see. Peyton stands next to him, her face clearly blotchy and her eyes swollen, as if she's been crying. Lucas looks just as confused as Brooke feels._

"_Peyton," she murmurs. Even though they aren't exactly on friendly terms, Brooke can't help but be happy to see Peyton again. No matter what happened between them, she is always going to be her P. Sawyer._

"_Hey, B. Davis," Peyton says with a watery smile. She turns to look at Lucas. "Luke, is it okay if I talk to Brooke alone?" _

_Lucas doesn't look very happy with that idea, but he nods anyway. "Fine, but you shouldn't stay too long. She needs to rest."_

_Peyton nods. "I won't."_

_Lucas sends Brooke a look that clearly tells her that he'll be waiting right outside, just in case. But somehow Brooke knows that she won't be needing him because when Peyton walks hesitantly over to her, Brooke can see the immense guilt in her eyes. Peyton isn't here to fight with her. In fact, Brooke is willing to bet that she's here for the exact opposite reason._

"_Do you want to sit?" Brooke asks softly, motioning towards a chair._

_Peyton thanks her with a smile as she sits in the chair next to her bed. Taking a long, shaky breath, she begins to speak._

"_Haley told me what happened. Brooke, I'm so sorry about your son."_

"_Thanks, Peyton"_

_A tear falls down Peyton's face. "I'm sorry about _everything_, Brooke. I was such a jerk last night. I swear I didn't mean a word of what I said. I was just hurt…But that doesn't even matter, because I've hurt you so many times before and you always ended up forgiving me. I guess I'm too much of a bitch to return the favor." _

"_Peyton…"_

"_No," Peyton says, putting a hand up, "I need to say this, Brooke. I need you to know that I'm so sorry. Lucas told me that you came home in tears last night and it's obvious that I did this to you. If I hadn't blown up on you then you'd probably still be pregnant and your son wouldn't be fighting for his life. It's my fault that you're lying here right now."_

"_That's not true," Brooke says before Peyton can go any further. She can't stand the thought of Peyton blaming herself for something that wasn't her fault at all. "What happened last night wasn't caused by any sort of stress. You had nothing to do with it."_

_Peyton just shakes her head, her shoulders sagging in defeat. "I just don't know, Brooke…why else would you this have happened _right_ after I blew up at you?"_

_Brooke puts her hand on the back of Peyton's and she looks up in surprise, the tears still lingering on her washed out face. "The doctors said that it was a freak thing. Sometimes things like this just happen in a pregnancy. There was nothing we could to stop it, so please don't blame yourself because I'm definitely not blaming you."_

_Peyton doesn't look convinced, but Brooke just smiles gently at her, squeezing her hand. "Promise me you won't blame yourself. I can't bear the thought of you taking responsibility for this."_

"_I don't know…" Peyton mumbles. "I'll try not to…"_

_Silence overtakes them for just a moment before Brooke speaks again. "Thank you for coming, Peyton. It means a lot to know that you care."_

"_I do," Peyton says, this time her voice strong with emotion. "I care about you so much, Brooke. I felt so horrible after I left you last night. I knew I was overreacting, but I was just…I don't even know what came over me, but I didn't mean any of it. I guess I was just bitter about what happened between you and Lucas and I just blew up."_

"_I understand," Brooke says. "You don't have to explain."_

_But Peyton just shakes her head. "I need to, though…You know what the sad part is? I don't even miss Lucas that much. I mean, yeah, I miss his friendship, but after high school our relationship just went downhill. So after we broke up, I felt free—like I could do whatever I wanted to do without having to worry about being tied down to someone else. And then you told me what happened and suddenly I just couldn't take it. I guess I didn't think Lucas would move on so quickly. I don't even know why I reacted the way I did when wasn't even in love with him anymore."_

_Brooke frowns. "Just because you don't love him that way anymore doesn't mean you shouldn't get angry about him hooking up with your best friend a day after he both proposed and broke up with you. You have every right to be angry with us, Peyton. I probably would have reacted the same way."_

"_I don't want to be angry with you anymore," Peyton says, looking at her seriously. "I hate being angry with you."_

"_I hate being angry with you too," she replies with a quiet laugh. _

"_Do you think you can forgive me?" Peyton asks hopefully._

"_Oh, it's already been done. I was just hoping you could forgive me…"_

_Peyton smiles at her softly. "I do…I forgive you."_

_Immense happiness overtakes her at the sound of Peyton's words. She'd been so worried that she and Peyton's friendship would never be the same again and yet here they are, reconciling once again. Nothing seems to be able to destroy their friendship and she doesn't think anything ever will._

"_So," Peyton says, "friends again?"_

_She grins. "The best."_

* * *

**A/N: **This chapter was mostly flashbacks, but they were all pretty necessary for the story. There's only going to be about four chapters left after this one, which is kind of depressing, but I think fifteen chapters is a good length for this type of story. I don't have any stories planned after this one, but I really want to keep writing more Brucas stories, especially now when the show is giving us very little of them. I'm just lacking in the ideas department for what I should write about next, unfortunately.

Anyway, as usual, thank you so much for taking the time to read this story and please review if you can (and thanks to those who've been reviewing—it means a lot)!


	12. Break of Daylight

**Break of Daylight**

For the first time in a very long time, Brooke is going to just relax and have fun with her friends at Tric. Peyton has insisted that she come see the performance of her new prodigy and first artist signed to her label and Brooke isn't one to refuse a night out at the place that used to be the hotspot for her and her friends in high school.

She knows she's going to thoroughly enjoy tonight and she is more than excited at the prospect of a fun, carefree night, especially since she can't even remember the last time she used to the word carefree to describe herself. It was probably sometime before her night with Lucas in New York.

"Ready?"

Peyton is standing at the doorway, a big smile on her face. Peyton's been looking forward to this night for awhile now. Mia is going to be the reason for Red Bedroom Record's success, at least according to Peyton, and tonight is going to seal the deal.

"I don't know…" She looks herself up and down, scrutinizing her short red dress critically. "How do I look?"

"Hot."

Brooke laughs. "Seriously, Peyton."

"I'm not lying," Peyton replies with a shrug. "I think you look great. And I know Lucas will agree."

"Peyton!" She swats the blonde with her handbag, but Peyton just grins.

"What? Doesn't Lucas love red on you?"

Brooke rolls her eyes, focusing on the mirror again. "Maybe…a long time ago he did. But it doesn't matter because I'm not wearing this to impress him."

"You don't really need to wear red to impress him. He thinks you look hot in anything. He told me that in high school."

Brooke sighs in annoyance as she sits on her bed. "What are you trying to say?"

Her best friend takes a seat next to her on her bed, a look of sympathy on her face. Brooke is pretty sure she knows what she's going to say. "I'm saying that I think it's obvious that you're still in love with him."

"Oh yeah? And where did you get that idea from?"

"I know you, Brooke." Peyton puts a hand over hers. "And I know that you've never gotten over him. As cheesy as it sounds, I can see it in your eyes. Whenever you're with him or whenever you're talking about him, you get this look in your eyes. I've never really seen you look at anyone the way you look at him. And I've never see him look at anyone the way he looks at you. So what's stopping you, Brooke? You both love each other. Why don't you tell him?"

She wishes it were that easy. Peyton is of course right—she does still love Lucas. And maybe he still loves her, but after all they've been through and all it's taken for them to get back to this point, she isn't sure she wants to risk confessing her feelings for him, only to have him say that he doesn't feel the same way. Over the past few months she's been here, especially during the last three weeks since Lucas and Lindsay's break up, she and Lucas have only grown closer. So the thought of potentially ruining their friendship scares her to death.

"I don't want to mess up the friendship we already have," Brooke answers honestly.

"Okay…" Peyton nods slowly. "I get that. But what do you think would have happened if Lucas never came to before you left for California back in high school and told you that he still had feelings for you? Do you think he wasn't scared that your friendship could be ruined? He was probably terrified of that prospect. But he did it because he knew he had to try. But Lucas isn't like that anymore, Brooke. Just like you, he's gotten his heart broken over the years and he doesn't want to have that happen again. He's afraid of rejection just as much as the next guy. Chances are it's going to take him a really long time to suck it up and tell you how he really feels. And who knows where either of you will be when that happens. Maybe by then you'll have moved on."

"I'll never move on from him," she cuts her off.

"Then you need to tell him how you feel because right now Lucas is probably just going to wait it out until you say something."

"Peyton, I really don't think Lucas is too afraid of getting his heart broken. He's too reckless for that. If anything, he probably is trying to be all noble and isn't saying anything because he thinks I'm not ready to be with him again. I mean, after our night in New York a few years ago, I basically made it clear that I wasn't ready to be with him, so he would have to wait it out. He probably thinks I'm feeling the same way now and doesn't want to pressure me."

"It doesn't really matter _why _he's not saying anything, Brooke, it just matters that he's not going to say anything. You obviously need to take a stand and say something yourself."

Brooke shakes her head. "I don't think it's that easy. I want to, but I don't want to ruin or rush anything. I think the friendship we've got going is good enough for me right now."

Peyton looks at her seriously. "Is it really, Brooke?"

She doesn't really know, to be honest. It was enough at first. Anything was better than them not talking. But now that they were good friends again, she knows that she wants more and she wants it soon. Groaning in frustration, Brooke falls back on her bed.

"No," she admits, "it's not enough. What should I do, Peyton?"

"I don't know…tell him how you feel?"

She glares at her. "I already said that's not an option."

"Well," Peyton says thoughtfully, "if _you_ don't want to be the one who admits your feelings, then you can try to get him to."

"What do you mean?"

"Go out with someone else. Make Lucas jealous and force him to say something."

Brooke arches an eyebrow. "Oh, no, no, no. Lucas and I discovered back in our non-exclusive dating days that using other people to make each other jealous is not the answer. Do you I need to remind you of Rachel?"

"That wasn't that big of a deal."

"Yes, but ultimately it led to me sleeping with Chris Keller."

"Hmm, point taken. But you're older now and Chris Keller is nowhere near here. Neither is Rachel for that matter."

"I don't know…" Brooke says with a frown. "It doesn't seem right."

"We're going to Tric tonight, Brooke. Have some fun, flirt with some guys. Let Lucas know that you are not always going to be on the market. Maybe then he'll make a move."

"Or maybe I should be mature and just wait it out?"

Peyton just shrugs. "Whatever you decide. Just promise me you'll have some fun tonight, okay? You need the break."

She smiles. "I will."

Really, though, she has no idea what is going to go down tonight. Every day that passes just makes her yearn for Lucas more and more. He's practically all she thinks about. But she doesn't really want to mess with his head. After all he's been through these last few years, he doesn't deserve it.

Still, she's going to go to Tric tonight with an open mind. She's ashamed to say that she hasn't kissed, let alone dated a guy, since Lucas. Maybe it is time she starts opening herself back up to the opposite sex, if only for one night. And maybe, if Lucas just _happens _to be around when she does, it might inspire him to finally make a move.

**888**

"_Hey, man."_

_Lucas doesn't turn away from the window he is looking through. His eyes are on the back of the room, where both Brooke and his mom sit, watching over Garrett. It's been three days since his son was born and there has been little change in his progress. The major problem is that his lungs are still extremely weak. This means that neither Brooke nor Lucas have been able to hold him yet, something that is tearing both Brooke and himself down little by little._

_The exhilaration of being a father is still strong in Lucas' heart, but now, as the days have gone by, he is worried more than anything. He can't help but think that something is going to happen. That they might never actually be able to hold their son…_

_He shakes his head at the thought and nods at the person next to him. "Hey, Nate."_

"_How's he doing?"_

"_Same."_

"_And Brooke?"_

"_She's fine. They're going to discharge her tomorrow. She's not very happy about that since it means that we're going to home without Garrett."_

_Nathan's hand pats his shoulder in a comforting way. "You'll bring him home eventually, Lucas."_

_He nods slowly. "Yeah…"_

"_So, how are _you_ holding up?"_

_Lucas lets out a long sigh and finally looks at his brother. "I don't know…It's just hard. Never in a million years did I ever imagine that Brooke or I would have to go through this. I just feel so helpless. I can't do anything to help him, to save him…It sucks."_

_Nathan smiles softly. "Hang in there, Luke. Things will get better."_

"_I hope so..."_

**888**

She's wearing red.

That's the first thing he notices when he steps into the crowded club. He spots her the moment he walks in and it takes everything he has to suppress the feelings that are now spreading throughout his body. His eyes are locked onto Brooke's body. Thankfully she is facing the other way and doesn't see him because then he would be forced to look away and he's just not ready to do that yet.

A poke in his side distracts him from his thoughts and he turns to see Haley staring at him with a knowing smile.

"Alright my lovesick boy, you go over to the others. I've got to head backstage."

Brooke is talking with Jake and Nathan, while Mouth and Millicent hang off to the side. Lucas remembers that Brooke took it upon herself to set her assistant and Mouth up on a date and tonight is their first one.

She smiles as she notices him for the first time and he's at her side a second later.

"Hey, Luke," she says, a smirk on her face. "You look very handsome tonight."

He swallows the lump in his throat. No girl has affected him like this in a very long time and he's wondering if she's doing to this to him on purpose. "Thanks. You…you look amazing."

"Thank you." She takes a slow sip of her drink, winking at him.

Yes, he silently decides, she is definitely doing this on purpose.

He turns to Jake in order to distract himself. "So where's Peyton?"

"She's in the back with Mia."

"Oh…"

He isn't really sure what else to say. Seeing Brooke like this has temporarily erased all coherent thoughts out of his mind. Both Nathan and Jake are looking at him in amusement and he shifts around uncomfortably. Luckily, Brooke is distracted by her now empty drink and announces that she's going over to the bar to get a new one.

He sighs in relief when she leaves and Nathan lets out a loud snort.

"You look like you need a drink," Jake says sympathetically.

Lucas just runs a hand through his hair anxiously. "You have no idea."

"Are you finally gonna do something about Brooke tonight?" Nathan asks, looking at him pointedly.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you gonna tell her that you love her?"

Lucas cocks an eyebrow. "Where did you get that idea from?"

"You do still love her, don't you?"

He might as well be honest. There's no use lying to Nathan, anyway. "Well, yeah…"

"So stop being a coward and tell her."

"Nathan, you don't understand. Telling her that I'm still in love with her could completely destroy our friendship."

Nathan rolls his eyes. "Cut the crap, Luke. You know that she's still in love with you too."

He looks over at Jake for support, but Jake is nodding in agreement. "Sorry, Luke, but everyone can see that she and you have never really been over."

"Listen," Lucas says evenly, "I'm not saying that I think she's not in love with me. I just don't want to pressure her into anything she's not ready for. You guys don't know Brooke like I do. You don't know how she was after New York and you can't really understand how long it took for her to trust me again."

"I don't think trust is the issue anymore," Nathan says. "I think you're both just afraid."

"I'm not afraid."

"Yes you are, Luke. You're afraid of getting hurt again and so is she. Neither of you can seem to grasp the fact that it is possible for you to have be in a happy and stable relationship."

"Oh, I know that that's possible, Nate, believe me I do. Brooke and I _were_ happy and stable once. And then it was torn away from us before we could even blink."

Thinking about losing Garrett doesn't exactly put him in a cheerful mood and he knows that this conversation is getting a little too serious for his liking. Tonight is supposed to be a fun night, not another serious one.

Nathan looks a little guilty now. "Lucas, I'm sorry…"

He forces a small smile. "It's okay, Nate. Look, let's just have some fun tonight, okay? We can deal with everything else when the time comes. Now if you'll excuse me, I need a drink."

Brooke is still at the bar when he gets there and she turns to him with a smile.

"Having fun?"

"I guess so."

Her eyes penetrate into his and he has to look away to escape the intensity of her gaze. "Tonight is not the night to brood, Broody," she says with a grin.

He chuckles softly. "Blame it on Nathan."

Her eyebrows crumple in confusion, but she doesn't ask any questions. Instead she turns away from him and calls over to someone behind the bar.

"Owen, my buddy over here needs a beer!"

His eyes travel to the tall, brawny bartender standing a few feet away. Owen walks over to them with a smile on his face.

"What can I get you?"

"Whatever's on tap," he says.

"No problem. Anything else for you, Brooke?"

"I'm good for now, thanks, Owen."

A second later, Owen hands Lucas his drink. Lucas quietly thanks him.

"Owen," Brooke says cheerfully, "meet Lucas. Lucas meet Owen the bartender."

Lucas nods, smiling lightly. "How do you and Brooke know each other?"

"Oh, we go way back. How long has it been now, Brooke?"

"Gosh, I don't know. Maybe ten, eleven minutes."

Owen grins cheekily at her. "Feels like a lifetime, doesn't it?"

"Sure does," Brooke says with a laugh.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I've got to help some people get drunk. Nice meeting you, Lucas."

Lucas is confused. That's the only thing he knows right now. He isn't sure at all how he feels about the interaction between Brooke and Owen. They seemed much too friendly for his liking and they were definitely flirting.

But why would Brooke flirt with another guy if she is in love with him?

"Brooke, have you seriously only known him for ten minutes?" he finally asks.

She giggles, twirling the straw around in her drink. "Bartenders are easy to talk to. Plus, he's friendlier than the others."

He looks back at Owen, who is now interacting politely with another woman at the bar. "I don't know about that," he mumbles under his breath.

"Did you say something?"

He just shakes his head. "Nope."

She's looking at him with raised eyebrows and somehow he knows that he's in for another round of twenty questions.

"Does Owen bother you?"

"Why would he bother me?"

Brooke looks away. "I don't know…Maybe because he obviously has a thing for me."

"He's known you for ten minutes. How can he have a thing for you?"

"I leave a good first impression," she answers with a smirk.

He chuckles softly, taking a sip of his beer. "You sure do."

There's a temporary silence and he isn't sure what to say. He definitely is a little jealous of Owen, but he isn't going to admit it right now, especially if she is doing this to him on purpose. And suddenly it feels like senior year all over again, except this time they should both know better than to mess with each other's hearts. There's too much to lose now.

"Look, Brooke, let's not play games, alright? You and I both know that it's only going to end up hurting one of us in the end if we do."

Her eyes narrow. "I'm not—."

But before she can finish talking the lights dim and Peyton's voice echoes loudly into the room. Lucas looks away from Brooke and over at the stage, where Peyton is standing. He knows that their conversation isn't over yet, but he can't help but be glad for the distraction. He doesn't want anything else, especially a potential argument with Brooke, ruining their night.

"Alright, we've got a very special performance for you all tonight. She's recently signed to Red Bedroom Records and I promise you that someday soon she is going to be huge. Ladies and gentlemen, Mia Catalano!"

The music starts and Mia begins singing. She's very good. He knew Peyton would find some great talent.

He feels Brooke's stare on him as he takes another sip of his drink. His head turns slowly to look at her. She looks slightly guilty as she smiles softly at him. Her hand moves to his shoulder and she gently pats it.

"I'm sorry," she whispers. "No more games."

He just smiles, his hand moving to grab hers under the counter. His arm snakes around her waist and she leans her head against his shoulder. They listen quietly together as Mia continues her mini concert. It feels good to touch her like this. It's casual, almost more of a friendly gesture, but somehow he knows that it means so much more to both of them. She tips her head to look at him and gives him a smile that makes him weak in the knees. He grins back at her, squeezing her hand slightly.

And suddenly they have both come to an understanding—they love each other and no one else, there is nothing else to it. He knows without a doubt now that she loves him just as much as he does her and he can tell now that she understands too.

He is so tempted to kiss her right here and now, but he refrains. He wants to wait until the perfect moment. Their reunion should be special because he knows it will be the last time they reunite. After this, he will never let her go again.

So he simply stays close to her, smiling contentedly as he realizes that this is exactly how things are supposed to be.

**888**

_Ten days. _

_Ten days her son has been alive and she has yet to hold him in her arms, to feel him against her chest, to nurture him in the way that only a mother can. She has touched him, yes, and that that was amazing, but she wants more than that. She wants so badly to just hold him, if only for a minute._

_And now it seems she might actually get to. _

_She and Lucas sit together, watching Dr. Reid examine Garrett. He has said earlier that there was a good chance that Garrett's lungs are strong enough now for them to hold him for a few minutes, but he wanted to make sure. And now that is what he is doing._

"_Well," Dr. Reid finally says and he looks at them both with an encouraging smile, "Garrett's vitals are much stronger today and his lungs are steadily growing stronger as well. I don't see why you can't hold him for a couple of minutes."_

_A huge smile lights up her face. Lucas looks at her with a smile just as big. After Dr. Reid gives them the proper instructions on what he's going to be doing, he slowly removes their baby from the ventilator. Gently, he lifts him from the incubator. _

"_And here is your son," Dr. Reid says with a smile, carefully handing her the small bundle._

_She can't help the tears that fill her eyes as she looks down at him. She's been crying a lot lately and most have been tears full of worry and sadness, but this time, these tears are happy ones. Garrett is still so small, but he definitely is growing. Lucas' hand grazes Garrett's cheek and she places a kiss on the top of her son's blonde head. Garrett's eyes are closed, but when she reaches for his tiny hand, it clasps around her thumb. Her eyes widen in surprise as she looks over at Lucas, who is smiling in amazement down at them both._

_The joy she feels right now is indescribable. To finally be able to hold her child— a life she created— in her arms is completely incredible. A tears slips down her cheek and she lets out a happy laugh as hers and Lucas' eyes meet. He grins as he places a soft kiss on her forehead._

"_He's amazing," he murmurs._

_Her hold on Garrett tightens slightly and all she can do is nod in agreement as she decides that there is nothing more amazing than holding your child for the first time. _

**888**

The crowds are starting to die down and she knows that it's time to get ready to go home.

After their intimate moment together during Mia's performance, she and Lucas spent the rest of the night together, talking and laughing and just being good friends. Somehow, though, she knows that this friend thing isn't going to last much longer. There is no doubt in her mind now that Lucas doesn't love her and it's only a matter of time before they both come out with their feelings.

Lucas' voice removes her from her thoughts. "I'm probably going to get going."

"So soon?"

He grins. "It's almost one in the morning. Besides, I've got a phone conference with Lindsay and her bosses tomorrow at nine."

"How's everything going with Lindsay, anyway?"

"We're keeping it professional," he says with a shrug. "We've only been split up for three weeks now, so obviously everything is still pretty awkward and probably will be for awhile."

"Well, I always liked Lindsay, so I hope that things get better and you two can stay friends."

Of course she likes Lindsay now that she isn't with Lucas, but even when Lindsay was with him, she knew that Lindsay really did have a good heart and meant well.

He cocks an eyebrow. "You liked Lindsay?"

"Yeah…Why, did I give you the impression that I didn't?"

"No, no," he says quickly, "I guess I just thought…" He trails off and she waits curiously for him to continue, but instead he takes a sip of his drink and looks away awkwardly.

She knows what he's probably thinking and why he didn't answer her question properly. He probably thinks Brooke was jealous of Lindsay. And she was; that is something she can't deny. Then she is reminded of their earlier conversation about Owen and she decides it's probably a good thing he cut the conversation short—no more games.

He stands up. "Anyway, I'm gonna go. Have you seen Haley anywhere? I came here with her."

"Yeah, she's right over there with Nathan."

He nods. "Are you going to be okay? Do you need a ride home?"

"No," she says, smiling gratefully at him, "Peyton didn't drink tonight, so she'll be taking me home. Thanks, though."

"No problem." He looks at her for a moment and she isn't sure what's holding him back from leaving. A soft smile forms on his lips. "I'll see you tomorrow, Brooke."

"Tomorrow? What's happening tomorrow?"

He grins. "Tomorrow I'm going to stop by your house after work and take you out to dinner."

This takes her by surprise, but she easily hides it. "You're taking me out to dinner, huh? Like a date?"

His eyes turn serious and he slowly nods. "Like a date… No more games, right?"

She takes a deep breath. "No more games."

His face bends down slightly and his lips brush against her cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow," he says again.

"Yeah…"

She watches as he walks away and it feels like her heart is about to beat right out of her chest. Did he really just ask her on a date? It seems as if he did.

And now she knows that everything is definitely going to change and this time it is for the better.

"Hey, Brooke." Her eyes leave Lucas and she turns to look at Owen, who is grinning at her from behind the bar. "It's getting late. Are you gonna head home?"

Her thoughts are consumed by what just happened with Lucas and she can barely concentrate on Owen. "Yeah…"

"I'm off in ten minutes. Can I give you a ride?"

"No thanks, I've got a ride. I appreciate the offer, though."

Owen leans against the bar, moving his face closer to hers. "Brooke, I know we just met and we barely know each other, but I'm kind of hoping to change that. Are you free tomorrow night?"

"Oh…" Another surprise for what has turned out to be a very interesting night. "Owen, I'm so sorry, but I'm actually taken."

And she's not lying to him like she used to every time a guy would ask her out these past two and a half years. This time she really is taken. Her heart has belonged to only one man in her life and that is Lucas Scott. No one else can possibly replace him.

* * *

**A/N: **I have to say that this chapter didn't turn out at _all_ like I expected it to. I had a whole outline written for it and the only thing that stayed the same was them all going to Tric. Owen was originally going to have a bigger part in this story, but I've decided not to go through with what I had planned for him. So this is probably the first and last time you'll see him in this story. This chapter also turned out a lot less dramatic than I was planning, but that's okay because the next few chapters will make up for it.

Okay, so I have some good news! I've found some inspiration and have come up with the plot for my newest story. I've actually got the whole outline written and the first chapter is finished. I'll post it within the next few weeks. It's going to be pretty much completely AU and I'm so excited to write it. So keep a look out for that!

Thanks for reading and please be sure to leave a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter!

**Lena: **I'm glad I could manage to have you like Peyton in this story. She annoys me very much on the show right now, but I think I've told you before that she used to be one of my favorite characters in the earlier seasons and I like to make her look good in my stories. And I know, I can't believe that this story is almost over. I started it a little over a month ago and now here we are, with three chapters left. I wrote it so much quicker than I planned to. But like I said up in the A/N, I've got a new story planned so at least you'll have something new from me after this is done. I actually did look through a lot of older Brucas stories trying to find some inspiration like you recommended and that's how I got the general idea of what I wanted to do. I basically just knew that I wanted to write a completely AU story this time. And the best part about writing AU stories is that you can change whatever you want, meaning that Leyton never existed in my new story. I know that's going to make a lot of people very happy :D. Thanks for reviewing!


	13. Shine on Me

**Shine on Me**

The hours tick by painfully slow and she is starting to get anxious. It's only one in the afternoon and all she wants right now is to skip a head six hours to when Lucas will be picking her up for their date. But there really is nothing she can do to speed up time, so instead she settles for trying to distract herself in the back by starting up early inventory. However, this does nothing but make time go by even slower, and so, when her two best friends enter the backroom, she is busy hitting her head against the wall in frustration.

"Whoa, Brooke." Peyton is laughing lightly. "You're gonna knock a hole through the wall."

Brooke just groans as she falls onto one of the chairs.

"Are you okay?" Haley asks in concern.

"Fine," she simply replies.

Haley clearly doesn't believe her. "Are you worrying about your date with Lucas?"

She shakes her head, smiling tiredly. "No, I'm not really worried about it at all. It just feels like today has gone on forever and I really just want to see him…"

Haley and Peyton share an amused glance while Brooke lets out a loud sigh.

"Aw, Brooke," Haley says, "you're just as lovesick as Lucas."

This grabs her attention. "What?"

"Lucas stopped by my house earlier and was going on and on about he wants to make this date perfect. It was extremely cute. I haven't seen him act so in love for a very long time."

The smile that immediately sprung to her face at the mention of Lucas widens at Haley's words. After last night, she hasn't been able to stop thinking about him. They may not officially be together, but she knows that tonight will probably change that and she can't wait to finally be with him again.

In the past, Brooke had always been very hesitant about getting in a relationship with Lucas. She'd always taken things slowly to make sure that she could fully trust him. But she doesn't have that problem now. She trusts him with all of her heart. And she's not going to run from him anymore.

"Brooke! Hello, earth to Brooke!"

Pulled from her thoughts, Brooke turns to look at Peyton in surprise. "What?"

"Damn, you really are lovesick. The last time you were this bad was in senior year, and even then you weren't _this_ bad."

She just rolls her eyes. "Okay, so what exactly are you two doing here? Other than to criticize my apparent infatuation with Lucas, I mean."

"We're here for lunch," Haley says with raised eyebrows.

"Lunch?"

"Yeah," Peyton answers, "last Friday we all planned on going out today. Did you forget?"

"Temporarily," she says with a guilty smile. "You have excellent timing, though. I was getting insanely bored here and now with you two, time will definitely go by _much_ faster."

At least she hopes so. She's not sure she can handle another six hours of waiting. She wants to be with him, to see him, to touch him, to hear him speak. He is all she wants.

**888**

He's only slightly nervous when he walks up to her door that night. Over the course of the last few hours he has been excited more than anything, but he can't help but worry that something might screw this up. But whenever he has any doubts about this night, he simply reminds himself that he loves her and she loves him. He knows that without a doubt.

Tonight will simply be the night that they say it aloud.

He rings the doorbell, holding a bouquet of red roses behind his back. He'd debated on whether the flowers would be too much, but ultimately decided that, since this is the most important date he has ever been on, flowers would definitely be appropriate.

It takes her a full minute to make it to the door, but he doesn't mind; she's always running late—it's just a part of who Brooke Davis is and he loves it.

"Hi." Her husky voice is breathless as she swings open the door.

He cracks a grin. "Hi."

Once again, she takes his breath away. She's wearing red again and even though this dress is much more conservative than the one the other, she looks even more beautiful than she did last night, if that's even possible.

"You're so beautiful." He is unable to help himself from saying that aloud because she really is; there is no other way to describe her.

She smiles gently at him. "Thanks." Then her eyes sparkle with playfulness and she smirks. "I picked it out just for you."

"I figured you might have." His eyes take in her body for a few more seconds before he pulls the roses from behind his back. "For you."

"Hmm," she says, cocking an eyebrow as she takes them from him, "red roses. I'm starting to see a theme for tonight."

He smiles. "Well, red always has been our color, don't you think?"

"Yes, red definitely is our color."

"So, are you ready to go?"

She nods and links her arm through his. "Yup, let's go."

**888**

He takes her to one of her favorite restaurants. It's a nice little Italian place located on the Riverwalk that they used to go to back in high school and even when they dated a few years back. It is their 'date place' as Brooke always used to call it.

Their dinner is comfortable and laid back. They mostly laugh together and reminisce about the good times they shared in this place. They sit next to each other instead of across and halfway through the meal his hand grabs for hers. Their hands remain clasped together for the rest of their dinner.

When they are done, they walk together along the Riverwalk. A comfortable silence overtakes them. He is slightly surprised when Brooke's hand reaches for his again. His eyes lock onto hers for a second and she smiles.

And then he knows that he can't wait any longer. Now is the time.

He stops suddenly and nods over to one of the benches. "Let's sit."

His arm rests along the back of the bench, their hands still intertwined. She moves her body close to his, leaning against him slightly, and his hand moves to the crook of her neck, his thumb gently stroking it. For a few comfortable moments, they just sit like that. The sun has long since set and the full moon shines brightly down through the clear sky onto them both. It's a beautiful night and Lucas is grateful that he can share it with Brooke.

"This is really nice."

He looks down at her, a soft smile on his lips. "Yeah, it is."

There's another short bout of silence before she speaks again. "I miss this. I miss _us._"

He squeezes her hand gently. "I do too… Brooke, I know this might seem sort of sudden, but I need you to know something…"

Her head twists around to look at him intently and he shifts slightly, removing his arm from around her shoulder in order to look straight at her. His free hand takes hers and now he holds both her hands in his.

He gathers his thoughts, trying to find the right way to say this. "I'm in love with you, Brooke, and I don't think I've ever stopped. I tried so hard to move on with Lindsay, but deep down I knew it wasn't possible because my heart belonged to you. I think it always has."

She listens to him quietly, her face lit up affectionately. "Lucas, I love you too. There hasn't been one moment in these past five years that I've stopped loving you."

His hand reaches up to cup her cheek and he smiles. "Last night at Tric, I think I knew then that you and I were on the same page. That we both still loved each other every bit as much as we did two and a half years ago. But to hear you say it out loud…it just…it means everything to me."

"I do love you, Luke. So much…"

He pulls her body close to him, her head resting on his chest. "You know, when you first came home, I tried to deny my feelings for you. I tried to make myself think that I didn't love you, that I loved Lindsay, but I couldn't hide behind that lie for long because that's exactly what it was: a lie. It wasn't possible for me _not _to love you. The moment I heard you were coming home, I think I subconsciously knew that it would only be a matter of time before we found our way back to each other. And now I know I was right."

"I guess we're just meant to be," she murmurs.

He gently kisses her brow. "I guess we are."

Then she looks up at him, her eyes bearing into his, and his head dips very slowly towards hers. Their eyes never leave each other until the very last moment, when his lips brush lightly against hers. And then his eyes close and he is lost in her. It isn't a very long kiss; it isn't passionate and full of lust. It is simple and short, but it is the sweetest and most meaningful kiss he has ever received. Because in it is the release of their love for each other—they are giving themselves to one another and this time it is for good.

When they both pull away, he wraps his arms around her again and her head falls onto his shoulder. They sit under the moonlit sky in a comfortable silence, content to simply be in each other's arms—where they are meant to be.

**888**

_Her fingers graze the glass, wishing that she could hold the child behind it in her arms once again. In the two weeks since she and Lucas first held him, they have only been able to hold him a handful of times. Dr. Reid tells them that Garrett is getting better and not to give up hope, but at times like this, when she watches his chest move up and down with the help of the ventilator, her mind becomes a tangle of anxiety. _

_Right now, she sits by herself. It is early in the evening and she has spent a majority of her day here with him. Lucas is finishing up at the middle school where he coaches basketball and will come meet her here after he is done. Since she left the hospital, this has become their daily routine. They both come in early in the day, normally at around eight in the morning, and Lucas leaves in the afternoon to coach, returning later that evening. _

_Garrett is their life now and so she has spent more hours at this hospital in the three weeks since he has been born than she can to count. But she needs to be here with him. Whenever she goes home to sleep, she feels restless and anxious. There is always something in the back of her mind making her think that something is going to go wrong, that she needs to be with him. And then she'll call the hospital at three in the morning and the very patient nurse on the other line will assure her that Garrett is doing fine._

_Lucas is in a similar state, although he tries to hide it. She'd even bet he worries more than her. He wants so badly to be strong for all three of them, but she knows it is taking its toll on him. She tries to be strong too, and many times she is, but as the days go by and still Garrett struggles to survive, she wonders if it will ever get better._

_Her eyes focus again on the sleeping baby in front of her. That's all Garrett seems to do—sleep. The doctors say it is good and that it is giving him the strength he needs, but she can't help but worry that there is more to it. Maybe he sleeps so much because he doesn't even have the strength to open his eyes. _

_Her eyelids start to droop. She barely sleeps these days. She can't when she's worrying about her son. Lucas and Karen try everything they can to get her to sleep more than a couple of hours at a time, but it seems impossible. This is probably because of the many dreams that plague her mind at night. None of them are good ones and they all lead up to one thing—the death of her son. They seem so vivid and real that after she wakes up from them, she has to remind herself that it was just a dream and that her son is still alive. Most of the time that is not enough, which of course leads to her late night phone calls to the hospital._

_The steady beeping of the machines around her is a soothing sound for her. It means that all is well and that she can relax. She leans back in the chair, letting her eyes finally close. This is where she always gets the best sleep, right next to her baby. Knowing that he is right next to her, waiting for her when she wakes up, allows her to willingly succumb to a peaceful slumber…_

…_Her eyes bolt open at the sound of loud excessive beeping. She's heard it before and during those times she would always feel an overwhelming sense of relief that the sound wasn't being caused by her own son. And then she would feel horrible because she knew that this sound normally meant one thing—someone else was about to die._

_She looks around the room in confusion, wiping the sleep from her eyes. Before she can even grasp the situation, a flood of nurses and doctors are heading her way. And then she realizes that the beeping is coming from the machines connected to her son. _

"_He's flatlining," she hears one of the doctors say. _

_It's as if her own heart has stopped._

_A horrible feeling overtakes her body and suddenly it's hard to move. Her eyes widen in fear as she looks down at her son. His chest isn't moving anymore. A barely audible cry escapes her lips and then the doctors are surrounding him and she can't see him anymore. _

_She is still frozen in place. A hand touches her shoulder and the comforting voice of a nurse flows into her ear, telling her that she needs to come with her. By now, she is too shocked to feel any emotion other than fear and so she lets the nurse lead her outside._

_And then, when she is outside the NICU and she feels a pair of arms wrap around her, the tears start to fall, because now she is over the shock and she understands the situation—her son is dying. He might even already be dead. That thought sends her over the edge and soon she is sobbing uncontrollably. Only then does she realize that it is Lucas who is holding her. Her hands cling to his shirt and she buries her head into his chest, her tears soaking his shirt. She holds onto him for support and his sharp breathes pour into her ear. Neither of them says anything. After all, what can you possibly say in a moment like this?_

_All she knows right now is that she can't lose Garrett. He's made it so far and now it seems as if it might have been for nothing. He _has _to survive, he just has to. She still needs to hold him in her arms, to bring him home to his family. He needs to smile and laugh and sit up on his own. He needs to take his first step, to celebrate his first birthday, to _grow up. _But he can't do that if he doesn't live. He _needs _live. She doesn't know what she'll do if he doesn't._

_A lifetime later, or so it seems, she pulls away from Lucas at the sound of Dr. Reid's voice. She knows the minutes she sees him that her nightmares have become reality._

"_I'm so sorry."_

_The tears pour even harder at the doctor's words and she falls back onto the wall, slipping slowly down until she hits the floor. Her heart breaks even more at the sight of Lucas' tear stained face. _

_And suddenly everything has changed. She is no longer a mother and Lucas is no longer a father. Only twenty three days after this amazing gift has been given to her, he has been taken away. And now her baby boy is gone before he even had the chance to live._

**888**

A few hours later, they rest together on her couch. Her head is in his lap and his fingers string gently through her hair. His other hand holds hers.

She doesn't remember the last time she was this happy. She imagines it was probably sometime soon before Garrett was born. Lucas just does this to her, though. No one else in the world has the ability to make her feel so complete. She can't even understand why she made the choice to leave him two and a half years ago because she knows now more than ever that he is the only thing that could have given her the strength to move forward. Without him, she can't function. These past few years have proven that.

Her eyes travel over to the scrapbook lying on her coffee table. Over the past three weeks, she has looked through it every day. Each time she would choose to remember more and more of her time with her son. There was always one even that she doesn't like to think of, but that had changed last night. After she and Peyton came home from Tric, she hadn't gone straight to bed. Instead she chose to open up the scrapbook and just remember. Remember _everything. _

For some reason, her time with Lucas last night had given her the courage to finally think about that night—the night they lost their son. It was extremely hard, leading to a late night of tears, but it was necessary. She'd gone way too long trying to ignore that life-changing moment and she knew that in order to move forward, she needed to remember that night.

And now, here with Lucas, she is almost there. There is only one more thing she needs to do in order to move forward, but that will wait until tomorrow. Tonight, she will focus on her and Lucas.

"What are you thinking about?"

He knows her too well. Twisting around so that she is looking right up at him, she smiles lightly. "Garrett."

His eyes soften. "Garrett…He was an amazing gift, wasn't he?"

"Yeah," she murmurs. "He really was."

Lucas' fingers play with hers as he looks down at her thoughtfully. "You know, I don't think I'll ever fully understand why he was taken from us, but I _have_ come to one conclusion."

She looks at him curiously. "And what's that?"

"You and I…we've always had something come in between us, whether it be Peyton or our insecurities... I think losing Garret was almost like a test for us. It's like we needed to go through it to get to we are now. To know that there was no one else for us."

"I guess that's one way to look at it."

"And it's not so much that we _didn't _know that there was no one else for us back then, but…I don't know…" His eyes narrow and she can tell he is lost in thought. It's another few seconds before he goes on. "Don't you think it's amazing that even after all this time, after all this heartache, you and I still ended up together? We're together again and now we know that it is forever. It just makes everything we had to go through a little more worth it, you know?"

She nods slowly. "Yeah, it does."

And it really does. There had been so many regrets on her part these past few years, but to know that in the end they made it back to each other makes her feel just a little bit better about leaving him. She still wishes that she hadn't and that will never change, but at least she didn't completely ruin them. In fact, she is willing to bet that it only made them stronger.

A content sigh escapes her lips and she closes her eyes. In the back of her mind, she knows that they still have a lot to talk about, but it can wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is when she will take the final step to move forward and, with him by her side, she knows that she is finally ready.

* * *

**A/N: **I know that this chapter is kind of short, but I feel like it contained two of the biggest moments in this story—the Brucas reunion and the death of Garrett. I hope I did both justice.

Thanks so much to all those who reviewed last chapter! All of the reviews really motivated me to get this up quickly for you all to read.

**Lena: **I'm glad that you enjoyed the last chapter, even though I know it was pretty bittersweet in some parts. This chapter was probably even more bittersweet. And I'm glad you liked how Lucas asked Brooke out. It was one of those moments I hadn't planned, but just sort of wrote itself and turned out so much better than I planned. Actually, I planned the chapter ending with Lucas not asking her out at all and instead having Owen ask her out instead and her accepting just for the heck of it. But like I said, most of the chapter wrote itself and I ended up liking it so much more. But anyway, yes I did write the first chapter of my new story pretty quickly. It's kind of short, though, but it's also more of a prologue than anything. When I get inspiration, I tend to write super quickly, so that's what happened with my new story. I'm probably going to post the first chapter in a couple of days (or maybe after the next chapter of this story, which will be sometime next week) so keep a look out for it!


	14. AN

**Hey everyone! So as I'm sure you all noticed, I accidentally posted the wrong chapter for the last update. I posted the newest chapter yesterday and then I edited after I noticed some mistakes and must have uploaded the wrong chapter. I fixed it, so it should work now!**

**Sorry for the mixup and thanks to everyone who let me know!**


	15. The Shadow Proves the Sunshine

**The Shadow Proves the Sunshine**

_Sunshine, won't you be my mother_

_Sunshine, come and help me sing_

_My heart is darker than these oceans_

_My heart is frozen underneath._

_She sits on their bed, her shoulders slumped and her face void of any emotion. Her fingers toy with the fabric of her black dress, trying to find some way to distract herself from the rush of thoughts that circle through her mind. Today has quite possibly been one of the hardest days of her life. To bury your own child is no doubt the worst thing she has ever experienced. She isn't even sure how she made it through. _

_Lucas' hand had held hers throughout the whole service, but she had kept her eyes down, away from everyone else. She just couldn't look at anyone, not when their stares were full of pity and sympathy—two things she has recently discovered she hates more than anything. When people came up to her afterwards to offer their condolences she didn't even speak. There was nothing to say anyway. _

_Lucas is struggling so much. He doesn't show it, but she knows he is. He and Karen planned most of the funeral, something that took a huge toll on him, but someone needed to do it and since she didn't want anything to do with it, it was his job. _

_She has been a complete mess. In the three days since they lost Garrett, she'd spent most of her time in her and Lucas' room, sleeping or at least trying to. Through that time, all she could think about was her baby's face—so beautiful with so much potential. She couldn't believe she would never see it again, alive at least. These thoughts would always reduce her to tears; besides sleeping, crying is what she had been doing most._

_And then she had done a lot of thinking. Too much, perhaps. The first thought that always came to her head was of course the biggest question of all: why? Why did this happen? What had they done to deserve this? What had _Garrett_ done? It wasn't fair, none of this was. It made her angry—so, so angry. So much so that she had been picking fights with Lucas._

_Lucas. The man who had done nothing but be there for her. She feels so horrible for the way she has been treating him. He doesn't deserve it at all. She has been so distant. She's barely even spoken to him in the last three days. He's been patient, though, and she's grateful for that. When she did speak to him, most of her words were harsh. He would come into their room and ask how she was doing and she would sit up and glare at him, asking him how he thought she was doing and telling him to go away. He always took it in silence. Every night though, he would sneak back into the room and hold her in his arms and she would cry into his chest, too distraught to even say anything._

_He is too good for her. She has come to that conclusion. All he wants to do is save her, like he promised so long ago, and she isn't letting him. And she's not keeping her end of the bargain either—she's not saving him like she said she would. Instead she is just pushing him away in typical Brooke Davis fashion. She doesn't deserve his patience. She doesn't deserve him at all. _

_Her eyes fall over to the scrapbook lying on the bedside table. She immediately looks away as her eyes brim with tears. That book holds memories that she isn't sure she will ever be able to think about again. And it's not just the scrapbook, it's everything. Everything here in this town—this house, her friends, _Lucas_— they all remind her of the baby she lost. Her eyes fall down to her left ring finger, where the ring he gave her sits. The ring is full of promise, but when she looks at it, all she can see is pain. Lucas proposed to her because they were having a baby. And now their baby is gone forever._

_In the back of her mind, she knows that the baby was not the reason he asked her to marry him. He loves her; he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He may have proposed sooner than planned, but he was going to do it eventually. But she isn't sure how she feels about marrying him now. She said yes because she loved him and there was no one else for her, but at the same time, she said yes because of their baby. She wanted their baby to grow up in a home with two parents who are committed to each other in the most sacred way possible._

_But there is no baby involved now._

_And she's not sure she can marry him anymore. Not when it means she will be stuck in this damned town, forever reminded of the child she lost. She can barely even look Lucas in the eye now, not when all she sees when she looks at him is their son. _

_Her eyes travel over to the door that leads into the kitchen. The sound of hushed voices is heard and she wonders when everyone will start to go home. Everyone came here after the funeral, but she headed straight to their room, unable to bear the company of those who cared so much for her. She just can't face them. She can't face _anyone.

_And then she knows that she can't stay here anymore. Not when everything brings her pain. She's not sure she can ever recover if she stays cooped up here. She stands up and grabs a small suitcase, piling her clothes in without a second glace. She'll need to hurry; Lucas will be coming into to check on her soon._

_She doesn't want to leave him this way; it's not fair to him at all. But she knows that she needs to do it now. There's no way she can say goodbye to him face to face. It's better this way._

_After she stuffs her bag to the brim, she heads over to his desk. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen, she takes a deep breath._

Lucas,

I'm so sorry, but I can't stay here. It hurts too much. And I know that if I do stay, I'll only end up hurting both you and myself. You've seen how I've been these past three days. I just can't do it anymore. I can't save you and you can't save me. I need to do this. I need to go away for awhile and I hope that you can understand. I love you so much and I hope that someday we can be together again. I'm sorry.

Brooke

_The tears pour down her face. She wants to write so much more, to give a better explanation, but she doesn't have time. Holding back a sob, she pulls the ring off her finger and places it on top of the note. Then she goes back to the bed, picks up her single bag, and runs through the backdoor without a second glance._

_And just like that, she is gone._

**888**

_We are crooked souls trying to stay up straight,  
Dry eyes in the pouring rain when  
The shadow proves the sunshine  
The shadow proves the sunshine_

_Two scared little runaways  
Hold fast to the break of day light where  
The shadow proves the sunshine_

The sunshine pours through the window and his eyes flutter open. He smiles softly as he looks down at the sleeping form beside him. Brooke had fallen asleep not long after their talk last night and, just like a few weeks ago when they had first looked through the scrapbook, he had carried her up to her room. Except this time, she'd stirred from her sleep just long enough to ask him to stay. And so he had.

His arms tighten around her small figure; he will never let go over her again. He can't believe how amazing it feels to hold her again. There was a time when he feared that he might never be able to touch her this way again, but now his fears are no more; she is back in his arms once again, where she will stay forever.

Unable to help himself, he places a light kiss on her lips.

"I love you so much, Pretty Girl," he murmurs.

A small smile flickers on her lips. "Mmm, I love you too, boyfriend." And then she pulls his head back down for another kiss.

"Did I wake you?" he asks when he pulls away. His head falls back onto the pillow and she twists around to look at him.

"No," she says, "I've been up for awhile now. I was just dozing while I waited for you to wake up."

He kisses her nose. "You don't know how much I've missed waking up with you lying next to me."

"I've missed it so much. I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep alone again."

"That sounds fine with me," he says with a grin. She giggles lightly, digging her head into his chest. He pulls her even closer to him, their bodies pressed tightly together. "I don't know how I've gone over two years without you."

She pulls away slightly and he worries that he said the wrong thing. When she looks at him, there is pure guilt in her eyes.

"Lucas, I'm so sorry for leaving you."

"Brooke," he says softly, "you've been forgiven for a very long time now."

"I know, but…" She shakes her head tiredly and sits up. He groans slightly, missing the feel of her warm body against his. "Lucas, the way I left…it was such a horrible thing to do to you. To just leave, with barely any explanation, it's unacceptable."

His eyes narrow and he lifts himself up so that he can look straight at her. "I understand why you left, Brooke."

His hands trail up and down her back and she sighs. "I know you do, but that doesn't make it right. I was just so scared and hurt…I couldn't bear to stay in a place that I knew would only remind me of Garrett. And then…every time I looked at you, all I saw was our son and what could have been. And that wasn't your fault at all, but I just couldn't stand the pain it brought, so I thought it would be best if I just left. Maybe then I could heal my broken heart and come back to you whole again. But I was wrong, Lucas. I was _so _wrong. The only thing leaving did to me was bring me even more pain. I was just too stubborn to realize that until it was almost too late."

He hates that she is still beating herself up for this. "It doesn't matter anymore, Pretty Girl. You're home; your slate is wiped clean. There's no use dwelling on it. All that matters now is that we made it through this and now we're stronger than ever."

She looks up at him with a soft smile. "I…Thank you, Lucas" she murmurs. He knows that she wants to apologize again, but she finally seems to see that it's no use; he'll just forgive her over and over again.

He pulls her back into his arms and she relaxes against him. They slowly fall back onto the bed and he closes his eyes, reveling in the quiet morning that he has the privilege of spending with her.

"Lucas…"

His eyes creep back open. "Yeah?"

"I'm ready to see him now."

The surprise that comes from hearing her say that disappears just as quickly as it came; somehow he knew they would be making a trip to visit their son today. She is staring at him intently, waiting for his reaction.

He just smiles. "Let's go."

**888**

_Oh Lord, why did you forsake me?  
Oh Lord, don't be far away  
Storm clouds gathering beside me  
Please Lord, don't look the other way_

_He stares at the smooth new gravestone with tired eyes. It has been exactly thirteen days since the death of his son and one week since Brooke left. He can't even begin to describe how horrible his life has been since then. Losing Garrett was enough, but losing Brooke too was more than he could handle. In this past week and a half, he feels like a part of him has died also. _

_Or maybe, it simply went away with Brooke._

_When he had walked into his room that day to find the note and the ring on his desk, he had broken down. He just couldn't understand how she could leave him with only a note. She didn't even say goodbye. He gets that she is heartbroken— he is too —but to leave with barely any explanation…It kills him._

_His eyes fall back to the headstone and his eyes water with tears at the sight of the words etched onto it. _

Garrett Keith Scott. Beloved Son. December 22, 2008 – January 14, 2009.

_Twenty-three days. That was all the time Lucas got to share with his son. It's not fair. Garrett didn't deserve this. He was so young; he has so much potential. No one should have their lives taken from them before it's even really begun._

_If he could've given himself in place of his son, he would have. Some might have thought him crazy for that, but when you're a parent, you would do pretty much anything to protect your child. He may have only been a parent for twenty-three days, but he knew that first hand. _

_A tear slips down his cheek. He needs her so badly right now. Doesn't she need him too? She said that he couldn't save her right now and that she couldn't save him, but he doesn't understand how she expects to make it through this alone. There is no way that she can._

_That's why he knows she will be back. It might be a few months, but she'll be home. The love they have for each other is too strong for her to never come back and he has faith that she will return soon enough. And when she does, he will welcome her back with open arms. He'll tell her that he understands that she just needed to get away for awhile, but now that she's back they can properly heal together. That's what will happen._

_The thought gives him a burst of hope and he smiles softly down at the grave. _

"_She'll be home soon, Garrett," he says, his voice full of confidence. "I know she will."_

**888**

_Crooked souls trying to stay up straight  
Dry eyes in the pouring rain when  
The shadow proves the sunshine  
The shadow proves the sunshine__  
_

_Two scared little runaways  
Hold fast to the break of day light where  
The shadow proves the sunshine  
The shadow proves the sunshine_

There is little anxiety in her mind when they pull up to the cemetery. She knows that she is ready for this. It will be hard, but it is time and she wants to do this. The moment they step out of the car, Lucas' hand is in hers. She can tell that he is worrying about her. He had kept giving her anxious glances during their ride here until she called him out on it and told him that she was fine.

She is thankful that he is worried for her though. It means so much to know that he just wants to protect her— to _save _her — from anything that has the potential to break her. But this isn't going to break her—far from it. Coming here and visiting Garrett will only give her the strength to move forward.

Even though she has only been to his gravesite once, she knows exactly where it is. She spots his headstone almost immediately. She's never actually seen it—it was put up after she left— and so it feels a bit strange to finally lay eyes on it. Lucas' grip on her hand tightens when they finally stand in front of it. Flowers lay at the foot of it, probably laid there by Lucas, who she knows visits quite often. She's comforted by the sight of Keith's grave right next to Garrett's. It gives her the feeling that Keith is watching over and taking care of Garrett now.

Her eyes fall onto the words etched into the stone and it brings back the realization that Garrett's time on this earth was so short. He had no time to live. But like it says on the stone, during the time he _was_ here, he was loved. There was definitely no shortage of that.

She smiles slightly as she thinks of Garrett's face. His is a face she will never forget. She doesn't _want _to forget it because like Lucas said like night—Garrett was a gift, one she will always be thankful. She is lucky to have gotten the chance to have him in her life, no matter how short it may have been.

"I told you she'd come."

She looks over at Lucas in surprise. He is staring at the headstone, a small smile on his face. He looks happy. It takes her a second, but she knows who is talking to. He's talking to their son. And suddenly she is so proud of Lucas. To know that— even though he was without her these past few years— he was able to come here alone every week and visit the grave of their son is amazing. A long time ago Lucas wrote about Brooke being brilliant and beautiful and brave, but she knows that it is because of him that she was inspired to be those things.

Because he is the bravest person she knows.

Lucas turns to her. "Do you want to sit down and just…talk to him?"

Talk to him. Yes, that sounds like a good idea. "Sure."

They both lower themselves onto the ground. Lucas arm snakes around her waist, holding her tightly. She isn't really sure what to say. It's a bit strange to be talking to someone who probably can't hear you, although she knows in her heart that Garrett is probably up above her with Keith, watching over them all.

"It's me, Garrett," she finally says. "It's your mom." Lucas' hand squeezes hers in reassurance and she feels the tears start to slide down her cheek. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come see you, but I'm here. I'm finally here. And I miss you so much. I think about you every day. Not a second goes by that I'm not wishing you were here with us. But I know you're okay. I know your Grandpa Keith is taking care of you."

She pauses as she looks at Lucas, who has tears running down his own cheeks. "I love you so much, Garrett," she continues, "and I always will. You were the best thing to ever happen to me, besides your dad, of course." She manages to grin over at Lucas, who chuckles softly in return. Her hand reaches over to touch the headstone. "I'll never forget you," she says, the tears pouring down her face. "Never."

And then she smiles through the tears because, even though it is hard, this moment signifies a new beginning. She is finally moving forward with her life. She will never forget her son and the time that they shared, but now she is finally free to just let herself be happy.

She and Lucas are both at peace and somehow she knows that Garrett is too.

_Yeah Yeah, shine on me  
Yeah Yeah, shine on me  
Yeah Yeah, shine on me_

_Shine on me,  
Let my shadows prove the sunshine_

**A/N: **This is the second to last chapter. Can you believe it? I definitely can't. The next chapter is the epilogue, which will skip ahead a few years. I hope I got the dates right on Garrett's headstone. I'm pretty sure that they graduated in 2007 (despite the fact that the show started in 2003, I think, which makes no sense, but then again nothing with OTH makes sense anymore).

I just posted my new story, _Awakening, _a little while ago, so be sure to check it out and leave a review! I haven't started working on the second chapter yet, so it might be a week before I update, but at the rate I've been writing lately, it will probably be sooner.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reading and please remember to review!


	16. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Sometimes Brooke finds it hard to believe that it has only been a little over two years since she returned to the place that has and always will be her home. Two short years ago she had came back to Tree Hill with her tail in between her legs, knowing that she needed to face not only Lucas and the others she left behind, but the death of her son, something she had avoided during her time away.

It had been a hard journey, but it had been worth it in the end. Lucas hadn't left her side since, something she is incredibly grateful for. He has been her rock, her firm foundation that she will always be able to fall back on. There was a time long ago when she worried about trusting him and always questioned whether he was solely devoted to her, but he had proven her wrong then and he continues do so now, every day.

He is everything to her and she is everything to him. It will stay that way for the rest of their lives— she knows that without a doubt.

They've been married for over a year now. It was a long time coming, especially since they should have been married a long time before then. There were of course many things that _should_ have been, but she doesn't focus on that anymore. Instead she is thankful for what actually_ is. _They can't change the past— that is something that every person in this world must come to terms with— but they can change their present and that is what she and Lucas had done two years prior, when they made the decision to come together again as a couple.

They'd only spent three months together before he proposed again. She'd laughed when he did, claiming that he always moved fast in relationships._"There's no use in waiting when you just know," _had been his simple reply.

Of course she'd said yes and they were married a short nine months after that, on the anniversary of the day they reunited for the last time. It had been her dream wedding, like she'd always imagined. There was only one thing missing and that was Garrett, but she and Lucas had acknowledged that fact not bitterly, but positively, pointing out once again that he was always going to be with them, even if it was simply in spirit.

"Hey you."

She looks away from the window that she is staring out of and over at Lucas, who sits down next to her. A smile lights up her face as she stares down at the small bundle he cradles in his arms— their daughter — Kayla Karen Scott. She is so incredibly beautiful with her light brown hair and her soft hazel eyes. Lucas claims she is a mini Brooke, although Brooke begs to differ because Kayla certainly exhibits many traits from her father. In the month since she has been born, Kayla has been nothing short of an angel. She barely cries and when she does it lasts only a few minutes. When she is hungry or tired, she gets a look in her eyes that Brooke can only describe as broody. And so while she may _look _like Brooke, she already seems to have her father's personality.

They had been married only five months when she discovered she was pregnant with Kayla. It wasn't planned, although it wasn't quite as big a surprise as Garrett had been. After all, this time they were in a stable and committed relationship and had talked about having more kids in the future.

It had been a bittersweet moment, though. There was an expected rush of guilt when she had first learned she was having a baby; in a way, she felt like they were replacing Garrett. But she and Lucas both knew that wasn't true. Garrett would always be their first-born child and someday she and Lucas would tell Kayla about the big brother that she never got to meet. No one else could possibly replace Garrett; she and Lucas had long ago come to that conclusion.

"You're supposed to be sleeping, Kayla." Brooke gently kisses the baby's forehead. Her daughter just stares up at her with inquisitive wide eyes and all Brooke can do is laugh. It doesn't matter that all mothers say this, but her daughter truly is the cutest baby on the face of the planet. It's just a fact.

"She just missed her mom," Lucas says, chuckling lightly.

"Alright, hand her over."

Lucas gently slides Kayla into Brooke's arms and she holds her close to her chest, smiling down at her. Holding Kayla is something she will never take for granted. It was something she had gotten to do so few times with Garrett and now she will forever treasure each moment she has the gift of holding her daughter in her arms.

Kayla's eyelids start to droop a second later and Brooke just sighs contentedly as she watches her baby fall asleep. Lucas' arm wraps around her shoulder and she rests her head on it. Her eyes travel back out the window and she watches the snow fall gently outside. It's another beautiful December day in Tree Hill, but this day is different because today is Garrett's birthday. It was exactly five years ago that he was brought into their lives—a day she would never forget.

Earlier, she and Lucas had gone to his grave, bringing Kayla with them for the first time. It had been a sweet time, just like it always was whenever they went to visit him. Each time they went seemed to come easier and easier for her and that is probably because she is no longer mourning the death of Garrett, but rather celebrating the short time they had been privileged to spend with him.

Now, as the three of them sit together in their living room, she is overwhelmed with a sense of peace. She cuddles into Lucas' side as his hand runs up and down her arm soothingly. He bends over a second later, reaching for a familiar book that sits over on the coffee table. The coffee table seems to be the permanent home of the scrapbook she had made so long ago. They look through it often, never wanting to even remotely forget the amazing memories that come from it.

He flips it open and they scan through the pages, a rush of memories flowing through their mind. She smiles softly at the picture taken of Garrett on the day he was born. It's hard to believe five years had passed since then.

"Happy birthday, Garrett," she murmurs. Her hand grazes the picture for a moment as she looks fondly down at it.

Lucas looks over at her with gentle eyes and kisses her forehead. "It feels like just yesterday, doesn't it?"

She nods in agreement. "Yeah, it does."

He glances down at Kayla, who is now sleeping contentedly in Brooke's arms. He moves his hand to the little girl's face, caressing her cheek. "I just can't get over the fact that she's here…I'm a dad again." He smiles down at her. "And you're a mom."

"It's the best feeling in the world," she agrees.

"It really is." His eyes turn serious. "I swear I'm never going to let anything happen to her."

Brooke cocks an eyebrow. "Are you going to be one of those crazy overprotective dads that never fail to embarrass their kids?"

He laughs. "Of course."

"Good," she says with a grin, "because those are the best ones."

He just smiles and kisses her softly. "I love you, Mrs. Scott," he says against her lips.

"That never gets old." She kisses him again. "I love you too."

She settles against him again, enjoying the quiet, and is once again reminded of how blessed they are. After all this time and after everything they went through, even when all seemed lost, they made it through. Now, here with the man that she will love for eternity and the child that they created out of that love, she is the happiest she has ever been. And she knows that tough times will come again—there will always be those dark periods in their life—but she is confident that they can make it through.

Because if she has learned one thing over these past five years, it is that nothing can overcome their love.

* * *

**A/N: **This is the end of the road for this fic. I know this chapter was really short, but it felt really right to end it there. I feel like it's probably my best-written stories so far and I really am proud of it. I had such an amazing time writing it. I know that it's a good thing when I'm actually excited to get on my computer and write and that's how this story was for me. I'm sad to be done with it, but at the same time, I've got other stuff to work on that hopefully will be just as good as this.

I'd like to thank each and every one of you for reading. The fact that you guys actually take time to read a story by little old me means the world to me. And to all those who reviewed—thank you!!! I can't stress how much your reviews motivate me to keep on writing. Every single one is so encouraging and it just means so much to know that you all really seem to like my writing, even though it's no where near great. So thanks again! You guys are awesome!!! :D

p.s. – the next chapter of _Awakening _should be up in a few days. I'm super excited about it because Brucas are finally meeting (I actually just wrote the scene last night and I personally loved it). Keep a look out for it and thanks to all those who have been reviewing so far!

_**hopefulsoul:**_ Thanks for your review last chapter! The reason why I was confused about them graduating is just the fact that the show started in 2003, when they were in their junior year, and then when they graduated it was 2007. I guess that can be explained by just saying that even though the show started in 2003, it was set a couple of years in the future, but then in season 6, at Nathan's slamball game, they said it was 2008….which doesn't make sense at all considering they graduated in 2007 and season 6 is set almost five years later. That's basically what I meant by that. Sorry for the long explanation :D!

**Lena: **Last chapter definitely was very hard for me to write, but I'm glad that you thought I brought out the emotions of each character, because that's what I was aiming for and that's of course why it was tough to write. And I totally agree that Lucas is a nightmare on the show :D. I honestly am so close to hating the guy right now, but at the same time I want him with Brooke so badly because I know she can make him the guy we used to love and the guy he is in my story. I want the old Lucas Scott and Brooke Davis is about the only one who can bring him back…Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was short and sweet, but I think it was a good ending and I'm looking forward to hearing what you think!


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